Your Own Paris Transformation

Owning my brilliance. That was my Paris transformation. In the blog, A Living Obituary, I shared my story of dying in Paris, and being reborn in Paris.

But, what if you can’t go to Paris? This was my first visit in 15 years to the City of Lights. How do we transform in the ‘glamour’ of everyday life?

I am the first one to rebel against a formula for change. There is something fundamentally not “programmable” about true transformation. That being said, I’ve come to see a pattern that is in motion when I have deep insights and transformation in my life.

Here’s what it tends to look like:


I know, you’ve heard this before, but don’t underestimate it. Setting an intention helps with clarity. Be clear about how you are answering the question, “What is it that I am wanting/longing/yearning for right now?”

Then watch for the smoke-screen and blinders that your mind and ego will create to keep you one step away from your true desires. The mind and ego are tricky that way. They feel threatened as you move towards your brilliance. For me, that usually took the form of an idea that pulled me away from owning my brilliance.

Owning my brilliance is big and it’s about owning my talents, skills and who I am. Along the way, my ego and mind would get me focused on an idea like, “I can’t own my brilliance until I get a promotion, or get my writing published, or launch a successful online program.” While there is nothing wrong with any of those things, if I make owning my brilliance dependent on a specific accomplishment or event, I’ve created a this-for-that scenario. Without the promotion, I can’t own my brilliance. Without the successful launch, I can’t own my brilliance.

Trust me when I say, that’s a setup for failure.

Feeling States

I prefer intentions that are based on a feeling state. What is a feeling state? It’s how you think you will feel when you get the promotion, get the relationship, move to the city, etc.

We all tend to think, if I get ________, then I will feel ________. I say, skip the middle-man! Get the feeling regardless of whether you got the ___________ or not. It’s actually the energetic space of creation to set an intention based on the feeling state. Actually put yourself in the feeling state of what you want to create. Get your inner life aligned with that feeling, regardless of your external circumstances, and then the manifestation can occur. Or, you learn that you don’t need the _________, you have the feeling you wanted and now your dream is bigger or changed in some way.

Think about what you are truly wanting/longing/yearning for. I love the word ‘yearning.’ It feels juicy and powerful. If you yearn for something, it isn’t fleeting. It doesn’t come and go. It takes root in the essence of who you are. I was yearning to own my brilliance. The thought has been with me for years. Owning my brilliance is a feeling state to me. It’s a feeling of owning and celebrating all that I am, not just a single accomplishment or skill.

Find your feeling state.

The power of words

The words you choose matter. Find words that resonate deeply with you. The feeling state you yearn for may be around abundance. If so, does the word abundance resonate? Or does wealth, luxury or lavish resonate more deeply? There are no wrong answers here. But, it is important to find the words that are juicy and delicious to you. I love the feeling state of beauty. Some people think of beauty as a descriptive word for something they like the looks of. Me too, but beauty is also a feeling state to me. I can feel beauty.

Select a feeling state that has meaning and resonance to you.

Create the space

It’s not a coincidence that my transformation took place while traveling. It’s why we travel and go on retreats. By leaving our day-to-day environment, we are exposed to new sites, smells, activities, people and places. All of our senses are engaged in new surroundings. When we interrupt the normal routine of our senses we allow for something new to arrive. We open up to new possibilities.

You can create that kind of space at home too. Be intentional about it. Create a sacred space. Place objects in a different way or bring something into the space that is unusual, like flowers or feathers or a rock you found on your walk. Play some soft music. Light a candle. Wear different clothes than you normally do.

Create a space and arrive in that space a little differently than you would in your day-to-day life. Just like you do when you go on vacation or go to a retreat or approach a new activity. There’s a freshness, an openness to the unexpected, because you’re in new territory.

Allow yourself to let go

Here’s the truth: you have everything you need, right now, to be the best possible you. All your brilliance; your talent, truth, beauty, your voice, your skills, the you that is unapologetically authentic, it’s in you right this second.

The journey is about letting go of anything, all the things, that block you from that brilliance. I didn’t need to get anything to own my brilliance, all I needed to do was let a lot of things go.

That’s why I died in Paris. I died to the things that kept me from knowing and owning my brilliance. There was a lot of shame, criticism and negative thoughts that were in my way. There’s no easy way to say it, you must be willing to die to be reborn.

It’s worth it. Oh, soooooo worth it.

The Own Your Brilliance Challenge        

We all have our unique brilliance. Yours looks different than mine. Our brilliance is our unique expression of the Divine in the world. It’s our highest and best expression of our beautiful unique Self. I challenge you to own yours. Here’s how you do it:

  1. Set your intention
  2. Find your feeling state
  3. Create your space
  4. Allow yourself to let go

Even in Paris, my transformation took days, plus I have been thinking about this concept of owning my brilliance for a couple of years. Your transformation may come in the flash of a moment or it may take repeating the steps over and over. It’s okay either way. Remember, there’s no specific formula. Trust the process of transformation.