Change

The Dreaded "Dark Night of the Soul"

A ‘Dark Night of the Soul’ is when you’re drowning in difficult circumstances.

When the things that used to work, when life served you lemons, don’t work.

You can’t figure out how to make lemonade out of this.

Is there something wrong?

It’s easy to drop into all the disempowering questions, like, “what am I doing wrong?” “What’s wrong with me?” “Why does life have to be so hard?”

Equally easy is what I call, compare and despair. That’s when it seems like everyone you encounter is thriving in the area(s) of life you’re being challenged in. Which brings up thoughts like, “How come they can do it/get it and I can’t?” Which usually takes us right back to “What’s wrong with me?”

Every great person I admire has had at least one dark night of the soul. But we hear their stories after they are on the other side. Eckhart Tolle and the two years he lived on a park bench before writing “The Power of Now” and became a wealthy world-famous author and spiritual leader.

Oprah and her years of poverty, abuse and so much more, before becoming a celebrated talk-show host and billionaire.

How did they navigate those years, living on a park bench, in poverty, abused?

And how do I consciously navigate and get through my dark night of the soul?

I don’t want to be a victim. I want to figure out what is here for me in this dark time.   

A dark night of the soul becomes a great part of our story, when we’re on the other side, we have evolved to the next level of our journey.

After a dark night of the soul, something better, bigger, brighter emerges.

That’s why they are “worth it.”

Why I don’t want to numb-out or runaway when one enters my life.

When my dark night of the soul hits, I endeavor to embrace it and ask empowering questions, “what is wanting to emerge in me now?” “What is the next highest expression of myself and who do I need to become in order to live it?”

When you’re swimming in fear, anxiety, despair and all you can imagine are terrible futures; the one where you run out of money, or get a bad diagnosis, lose the relationship, end up a bag lady or live on the street, it’s really hard to keep a vision of the “next-best” version of yourself and your life.

I know. I’ve been there. So,

I’m creating a life-raft.

It’s the life-raft I needed.

So, you can stop drowning in the downward spiral of anxiety and catastrophe driven thoughts.

I’ve been collecting tools and strategies for years.

I’m calling it, “From Darkness to Light.”

It’s a four-week group coaching program, for men and women.. I’m pricing it super-easy, because I know that sometimes, a dark night of the soul hits your bank account and I want you to have the tools and experience the support you’ll get when you join the program.

I want you to go. From Darkness to Light.

Email me and let me know that you’re interested. No one but me will see the email.

I’ll open registration later this week.

I love you and want you to go from darkness to light. It’s possible. You don’t have to do it alone.

Hope is not a plan

Hope is not a plan      

Anderson Cooper said it first, during hurricane Katrina, and it still rings true.

Hope is not a plan.

Not a plan for change. 

Not a plan for safety.

Not a plan for your business.

Not a plan for your relationships

Not a plan for your finances.

Not a plan for taking a vacation.

Not a plan for bringing pleasure into your life.

Let’s make a plan.

As a life coach people come to me when they are ready to do something other then “hope” things get better.

They’ve tried ignoring the problem.

They’ve tried “hoping” it will go away or change.

Then, they decide, “I need a plan.”

They reach out to me we roll our sleeves up and we start the plan. From day one, session one, the plan begins.

Are you ready to stop hoping and start planning?

Let’s talk.

Right now, do this one thing. Click here to schedule a free Discovery Call and we’ll figure out your plan. Take the first step towards your plan.

Don’t “hope” things will get better. Make them better.

The $350 Blog

I'm not exaggerating. 

This blog is worth money! 

I've been so driven to making sustainable change in my life. You know what I mean. 

Not the sort of thing that lasts a few days or a week. 

Not the things I muscle my way through temporarily, only to go back to the old way of doing things. 

The things that transform my life. 

Change that lasts. 

As I've figured out how to do it and have coached my clients so they know how to do it, I thought, "this is big." 

Everyone wants to know how to make lasting change. 

We all get frustrated with going back to the same-old thing that didn't work before and isn't working now. 

So, I did two things. 

I created a free e-book with a worksheet called, The Five Secrets to Making Lasting Change.

And you're going to be the first to get it!! More on that in a minute. 

I also created a guided audio program, with private coaching included, called, One Big Change. 

I offered this program for the first time in January and people loved it! 

So I decided to offer it on a continuous basis. After you register, you get an email with a link to book your first private session and the audios will begin the Monday after you register. Easy peasy. 

You have something you want to change. Something that just isn't working in your life. We all have it. 

Give yourself the free gift of the e-book and worksheet, The Five Secrets to Making Lasting Change and then register for One Big Change

Let's get the ball rolling! 


This is what chasing a dream looks like...

Once upon a time… a woman lost her job. She didn’t do anything wrong, in fact her company appreciated her gifts and talents enough to create a new position for her, but it wasn’t what she yearned for.

What she yearned for was to be an entrepreneur, who could work from anywhere, who would live near the ocean and have the financial freedom to travel. She also yearned for romance and a partner who would be her cheerleader, friend and lover.

She dared to take the leap. 

She left the convenient, six-figure job, made her side-hustle her full-time-entrepreneur-hustle, sold most of what she owned, packed up her convertible Mustang and headed West.

Today, she’s working on a balcony overlooking the ocean.

She’s making big plans with her business and attracting new clients.

She’s making new friends.

She’s living the life she yearned for.

Does she have it all? No.

She hasn’t attracted her romantic partner.

The home is a friend’s, not hers.

She hasn’t done much traveling yet.

She’s scared sometimes.  

She doubts herself and the risk she took from time-to-time.

Some sometimes she thinks she’s crazy, as a woman-of-a-certain-age, to risk it all for a business she believes in, the people she serves, the lifestyle she yearns for, romance and financial freedom on top of that!!

She is entirely toooooo much!

And I love her! She’s bold and brave. Flawed and perfect all at the same time.

She’s learning how to heal herself by loving herself, rather than thinking there is something wrong with her that needs fixing. Love. It’s simple and powerful.

And, of course, she is me. You probably guessed that about two sentences into my story.

Now, I want to ask you, is there something you are yearning for?

It may not be a whole-life-make-over like I’ve done. 

Whatever it is. I promise you, it’s waiting for you to come get it.

It’s yearning for you as much as you yearn for it.

I’ve got three spots open right now for new clients if you want a little coaching to help you get there faster and have a guide for your journey.

It’s what I do. It’s who I am.

Click here to book your 15-minute Discovery Call and we’ll talk about what you are yearning for.

The Best Things In Life

It's been an exciting couple of weeks! 

I've added another entrepreneur as a client. Like my other creative entrepreneur clients, she's a powerhouse of talent... and she knows she needs someone to keep her business organized and create a clear path for how to offer her services to her clients in ways that are effective and make her more profitable. 

Yes! Profit! I'm not ashamed to talk about profit and I unashamedly help all my clients make more money! Not just increase sales, but be more profitable. There's a difference. My clients become more profitable. 

Do you know what one of the biggest factors is to profitability? No matter what your business or career is? (Yep. This is for everyone, whether you work for someone else or own their own business) It's...

Mindset! 

Every business client I have will get coaching from me. We can employ master strategies, amazing sales funnels and have an enviable social media presence, and if our mindset is in scarcity, lack, wanting, telling us we aren't good enough, or don't have enough time, we're screwed. 

I've seen mindset ruin the best strategies, the best marketing, the best social media influence. 

You can't escape your mindset, so it's best to accept that and take the action necessary to neutralize the critical and diminishing thoughts we have and replace them with empowering and liberating thoughts. 

Easier said than done, right?

The best things in life usually are. But have no fear. I am here. 

This is what I do all day, every day. With my business clients, my life coach clients and myself. 

We learn how to become aware of the thoughts that cause resistance, stress and self-deprecation. Then we slay them. If they rear their ugly heads, we slay them again, until they are gone. 

We celebrate the freedom we are liberated to with each victory, large or small! 

In short, we Think Our Way to Success

I created a cool video program, Think Your Way to Success, so that you, and everyone who wants to liberate themselves from their stressful, deprecating thoughts, has a system for doing it. You can "do it yourself" with the program or you can get the program and then book a one-on-one private coaching session with me so we can work on your thoughts. I love a good DIY solution, but let's face it, we all need a little help. You'll go so much deeper with the Think Your Way to Success process if you have a private session and have me coach you through the steps. 

Just say No...

To your stressful, self-deprecating thoughts and Think Your Way to Success! Check it out and get it delivered to your inbox in minutes by clicking here

To add coaching go to my scheduler and book your first session, by clicking here. I'll send you an invoice. Right now, when you buy Think Your Way to Success you can get one session for $150. 

Let's do it! 

OK. Enough with the cliches. This program works. Treat yourself. You've earned your liberation! 

Love Yourself Into Life

I had a client recently who shared a self-destructive habit with me that she was ready to let go of. She had worked on it before with other trained professionals, without much affect. She wanted to see if I could help her.

We all have self-destructive habits. We may shop too much, drink too much, hurt ourselves physically, hook-up with abusive men (o women,) deny ourselves what we need and most of us shame ourselves with brutal self-criticism.

Whichever your current form of self-abuse is, I encourage you to work with it as I coached my client to. But, know before you start, this is a tad radical.

I want you to love yourself into life.

I hear you. There’s a cynical voice in your head right now that is saying, “that won’t work!.”

You think you need discipline or “fixing.”

Let’s face it, we often feel like we’re “broken” or “not good enough.” The obvious answer is to whip ourselves into shape!

I bet you’ve tried that. My clients try it.

It doesn’t work.

It isn’t sustainable.

We can’t discipline or beat ourselves into our next break-through.

Your next break-through, the one that changes you forever, will come from love.

A deep sense of how lovable and worthy you are. Period. No matter what.

Not loving yourself because you successfully complete certain tasks, or hit your ideal weight or stop a destructive behavior.

Loving yourself because you are. You are. You are a unique spark of the Divine.

 Created to spread your special magic into the world.

My client got her big break-through.

Are you ready for yours?

 

Email me and let me know what you’re ready to break-through in your life. We can get to work on loving you back to life this week!

Transforming into the new normal

Have you ever made such a dramatic change in your life that you created a new normal?

Maybe the transformation was thrust upon you from a life event: a move, divorce, marriage, started a family, sent your last kid to college, experienced a career, business or financial loss or breakthrough?

 Transformation means, “a thorough or dramatic change.”

 You may have noticed I’ve been pretty quiet since the end of 2018.

 I left Pennsylvania on December 27th and drove to Los Angeles. I arrived on New Year’s Eve. It was a dream come true (an intention actually from earlier in the year) to ring in 2019 in Southern California.

It was the first step in my move across the country that was full of trust in the unknown. I didn’t have a place to live (I still don’t), my business was very new (it still is) and I was struggling with my services, offerings and brand (I’m not anymore.) Something felt slightly “off,” and I couldn’t figure out what it was. I love coaching. I love liberating people to their wisdom and brilliance. So, why did things feel like such an uphill battle?

Not being independently wealthy, a big move and a new business, mixed with some brand uncertainty, also meant there were some financial challenges.

And yet… there was so much joy. So much certainty. Certainty that all this uncertainty and change that I was ushering into my life was intentional and purposeful.

I hung on and took the ride.

I didn’t talk about it on Facebook and I didn’t email you several times a week, like I have in the past, to give you the blow by blow.

In truth, I wasn’t sure what to say. So, I stayed quiet. I turned inward. I waited for my inner wisdom to lead the way.

That’s exactly what I tell my clients to do. Because I’m a big believer in, “it isn’t about the challenge, it’s about who you’re becoming.”

I kept becoming. I kept becoming a new version of myself.

“A thorough or dramatic change.”  Transformation. I am experiencing deep transformation.

 Some of it’s ugly. Some of it’s gorgeous! Sometimes I’m singing. Sometimes I’m crying.

Can you relate?

Are you in the midst of transformation?

Are you inviting transformation, as I did?

Or is life thrusting a transformation on you?

No matter what shape or size it comes in, I’m here for you. I am 100% clear that my gift is facilitating transformation. In my life. In my client’s lives. In my business. In my client’s businesses.

I am now 100% clear.

I am a transformation coach. I even made some changes to my website to better reflect my services, including biz consulting and operational support for entrepreneurs, and my commitment to sustainable transformation. Check it out, www.BrendaFlorida.com

I work with individuals and business owners who want transformation. They aren’t kicking and screaming against it. They are ready to embrace it. Ready to become the next version of themselves. To create a new normal in their lives, careers, relationships, business and how they contribute to the world.

 Do they get scared? Sure. Do they need help? Sure. Are they willing to invest in their transformation in order to experience the joy of living the next highest expression of themselves? You bet your life they are.

 Is transformation knocking on your door? Will you answer it?

Book a 15-Minute Discover Call here and we’ll chat about it.

There’s no better investment than the investment in your own transformation.

How to navigate any life transition. Really.

If you're in the middle of a transition, this episode is for you!

Whether you're changing jobs, starting a business, have an empty nest, moving to a new city or starting/ending a relationship, transition is a challenge.

Today I'll share with you my top three tips for navigating a transition, because, after two divorces, sending four kids to college, moving 14+ times in my adult life, changing jobs, careers and starting businesses, I am the Queen of Transitions!

Check out the program I mention, Think Your Way to Success. It will give you badass tools for taking the sting out of your stressful thoughts! To explore working with me one-on-one, so you get the support you need for your transition, email me and we’ll set up a time to chat. You deserve it!

What's the deal with the Law of Attraction? I'm not getting what I want!

If you've ever felt like that, I get it!

I felt it too, which is why in this episode I recently take a deep dive into the art of manifesting.

I’ve been working on several significant manifestations recently and I’ve learned a few things about why it works sometimes, and doesn’t seem to work other times.

Let me know what you're wanting to manifest and if you can relate to what I struggled with. Shoot me an email at brenda@brendaflorida.com and tell me about it!

Top Motivator for Change

We all have things we want to change. Whether it's a new habit we want to start, or something we want to stop doing. I'm curious about how you motivate yourself to change? Are you critical, judgmental or shaming? 

In this episode of Talk About it Tuesday, I'll share why I think love and self-acceptance are the best motivators!

Watch the episode here: 

Tell me what you want to change and how you're loving yourself into your next level! 

Can three hours change your life?

Three hours really can change your life!

Three hours. Radical change. Do you want it?

Stop for a moment and think about one thing, that if you experienced radical change in that area, would significantly improve your life. What is yours?

Is it:

  • Your business

  • Your job

  • A relationship

  • Your sex life - of lack of it

  • Your body

  • Your finances

  • Issues with your kids

  • An project you can't seem to start - or finish

Take the three hour test.

What if you devoted three hours of your time, not even three in a row? Three hours, over one or two months, and you experienced radical change, would it be worth it to you?

And what if that cost you $1,000, would you do it? Three hours. $1,000. Radical change.

If your answer is no, then I recommend you stop telling yourself that the issue is important. If the change you want isn't worth three hours of your time and a little bit of money (go back to your bank statement and look at everything you spend money on that isn't food, gas, and bills. You'll find a lot more than $1,000 that you could divert, for a month or two, to your radical change.)

If your answer is yes...

You passed the three hour test and you're in the right place.

Now, I'm going to invite you to create radical change in three hours. How will you do it? It's simple.

You show up for three, one hour, one-on-one sessions with me.

My clients experience radical change all the time. In three sessions they transform their businesses, their lives, their finances, their relationships, their sex life, whatever the issue is that they bring to the coaching session, my clients experiences change. It's freakishly effective!

Sound too good to be true?

Let me share a few stories from some of my current clients.

- One client was working towards self-confidence in her business. As an entrepreneur, you know that your level of confidence effects every aspect of your business. By the time we finished our session she had several significant insights that increased her self-confidence.

- One client, in her 70's, was wanting to turn up the heat in her sex life with her husband. I love coaching women into transformation in their sex lives. Most of us have tons of baggage, if not trauma, that impacts our sex lives, significantly. Coaching this client to feel and find the power of her sexual energy, was a joy for me and her. I'm sure her hubby was pretty happy too!

- A couple other clients are wanting to start a business or grow their business. They needed practical advice for financing, planning, strategy and marketing for their business. But, that's never everything an entrepreneur needs. Mindset is where it all starts or stops. You can have the best strategy in the world, but if your mindset is negative, you feel unworthy, you lack confidence, you don't think you're smart enough or went to the 'right' school or have a college degree, your mindset will silently sabotage every strategy you put into place. I worked with these clients to free their limiting mindset and get some great strategies in place.

Are you willing to devote three hours to your own radical change?

The cool thing is that when you're ready, change is ready. It's been waiting for you.

Here's all you need to do. 

  1. Book a 15 minute call with me. In 15 minutes you and I will both know if we are a good match and if I can help you with your specific issue. If I can't help you, I'll do my best to refer you to someone who can. Use this link to book the call. It's free and there's no obligation. This is where your radical change begins.

  2. Plan on spending three hours, that's one session, for one hour, over the next four to eight weeks. We'll have our sessions by phone so you don't need to travel or do anything other than be available and present during our call. You'll also want to bring an attitude of change with you. Be open and willing to radically change.

  3. You won't need to spend $1,000 for this radical change. You'll invest $495 for three sessions. Radical change is worth thousands of dollars, practically, emotionally and energetically. An investment of $495 makes it an easy, yes.

I can't wait to talk to you on our 15 minute call. There is nothing that thrills me more than coaching a person to their personal radical change!

Do you ever stress about money?

There's nothing that stirs up stress more than money!

I bet you can remember a time when you had the thought, "I don't have enough money." Maybe you had that thought today!

I have the cure for that thought, and any other thought that creates anxiety and stress!

It's all in my program, Think Your Way to Success.

Here's how it works.There are six videos. One outlines the entire process, the other five take each step individually. I'll walk you through all of it. It's not hard. Each video is only about 5 minutes long. There's also a worksheet you can use to help you. Then you put the process into action.

Let's take the thought, "I don't have enough money." I'm just going to run it through the first two questions so you get a taste of the magic that is waiting for you in Think Your Way to Success.

When I ask myself the first question, "Is it true?" or the second question,"Is it absolutely true?" and I slow down my frantic, freaked-out mind that is being driven by fear, I find my answer, and it's a, "no."

How do I know the answer is, "no?" Because I only have the money I have. I'm arguing with reality when I have the thought, "I don't have enough money."

I know what you're thinking, "but I actually DON'T have enough money. I can't pay my bills."

I hear you and I've been there, so I say this from experience. It's still not true.

When we argue with reality, it is stressful. What if I reframed my story. "I'm a woman without the money to pay all her bills, (if that's a fact, it's a fact and it doesn't not have to have shame or embarrassment with it. I'm also a woman who is 5'10. I don't have shame or embarrassment about that. If you have shame or embarrassment, there are other thoughts surrounding it that tell you good people, smart people, responsible people always have the money to pay their bills, etc.) and I'm grateful that new opportunities are always coming to me that allow me to receive more money. I am loving to myself during challenging times and I know there's always something for me to learn."

The reframe allows me to be in the same circumstance and not be stressed. Which thought will ultimately help me find a way out of my situation and into something more profitable for me? That's right, the reframe.

Here's the big lie your mind tells you, that by being afraid, or freaked out, or hyper-vigilant about anticipating the worst-case scenario, you'll be safer. It's not true. The best solutions are always found when we are calm and in an attitude of love and gratitude.

I'm not saying it's easy. You're going against thousands of years of fear-based programing, but I promise you, when you slay the stressful thought, even in the same circumstances, you miraculously find a solution. And it's a loving solution. Not a stressful, critical or shaming one.

Magic is available.

Think Your Way to Success is the tool.

Work the tool and find the magic. <3

Read more about Think Your Way to Success, and get it in your toolbox, here.