Personal Power

The Power Button

You have a power button.

The power button, literally, turns you on.

When you hit the power button, you’re clear. You’re confident. You’re ready for whatever life throws at you!

Do you feel like you lost your power button? 

Or maybe you haven’t used it lately. 

Come on over. I’ve got the keys to the “lost and found.”

We all lose our power buttons from time-to-time. Or maybe I should say, from situation to situation.

There are people and situations that can pull the plug, right out of that power button.

It might be your boss, or in-laws.

It could be a client or your finances.

It might be your health or your kids.

Whatever it is, it always feels like they get the best of you. They win. They have the power.

I’m here to tell you, it isn’t true.

Anytime we feel like someone or something “make us feel” or “we didn’t have a choice.” That’s how we know we’ve lost our power.

I can help you get you power back.

Sound too good to be true?

It’s not.

It’s what I do. All day. Every day. For every client.

Some days is a man or woman needing to decide whether to stay or go from their relationship. And if they go, what do they say and how do they recreate their lives?

Some days it’s working with an entrepreneur that feels like their web designer or virtual assistant is out of control and they don’t know what to do. Or their business is out of control, or frankly, they are out of control when it comes to their business! That happens to every entrepreneur!

Some day’s it’s a mom with her kid going off to college trying to figure out how let him go.

Whatever it is, it’s always about taking your power back. Knowing you can push the power button and get back in charge of your life in a way that is loving and respectful of those around you and doesn’t comprise who you are and your well-being. 

We always find the power button.

Can I help you find yours? Book a free 15-minute call with me and let’s find out. There’s no obligation and I promise; you’ll feel better afterwards. Click here to book yours today.

Do you ever stress about money?

There's nothing that stirs up stress more than money!

I bet you can remember a time when you had the thought, "I don't have enough money." Maybe you had that thought today!

I have the cure for that thought, and any other thought that creates anxiety and stress!

It's all in my program, Think Your Way to Success.

Here's how it works.There are six videos. One outlines the entire process, the other five take each step individually. I'll walk you through all of it. It's not hard. Each video is only about 5 minutes long. There's also a worksheet you can use to help you. Then you put the process into action.

Let's take the thought, "I don't have enough money." I'm just going to run it through the first two questions so you get a taste of the magic that is waiting for you in Think Your Way to Success.

When I ask myself the first question, "Is it true?" or the second question,"Is it absolutely true?" and I slow down my frantic, freaked-out mind that is being driven by fear, I find my answer, and it's a, "no."

How do I know the answer is, "no?" Because I only have the money I have. I'm arguing with reality when I have the thought, "I don't have enough money."

I know what you're thinking, "but I actually DON'T have enough money. I can't pay my bills."

I hear you and I've been there, so I say this from experience. It's still not true.

When we argue with reality, it is stressful. What if I reframed my story. "I'm a woman without the money to pay all her bills, (if that's a fact, it's a fact and it doesn't not have to have shame or embarrassment with it. I'm also a woman who is 5'10. I don't have shame or embarrassment about that. If you have shame or embarrassment, there are other thoughts surrounding it that tell you good people, smart people, responsible people always have the money to pay their bills, etc.) and I'm grateful that new opportunities are always coming to me that allow me to receive more money. I am loving to myself during challenging times and I know there's always something for me to learn."

The reframe allows me to be in the same circumstance and not be stressed. Which thought will ultimately help me find a way out of my situation and into something more profitable for me? That's right, the reframe.

Here's the big lie your mind tells you, that by being afraid, or freaked out, or hyper-vigilant about anticipating the worst-case scenario, you'll be safer. It's not true. The best solutions are always found when we are calm and in an attitude of love and gratitude.

I'm not saying it's easy. You're going against thousands of years of fear-based programing, but I promise you, when you slay the stressful thought, even in the same circumstances, you miraculously find a solution. And it's a loving solution. Not a stressful, critical or shaming one.

Magic is available.

Think Your Way to Success is the tool.

Work the tool and find the magic. <3

Read more about Think Your Way to Success, and get it in your toolbox, here.

Are you at the Intersection of Change?

As a Life Coach people often ask me, “what makes people ready for change?”

The answer is simple. The pain of staying the same is worse than the fear of change.

Change always means stepping into the unknown.

That’s uncomfortable for most of us. It seems so much safer to be in what we know.

Unfortunately, we often choose the known, even when it’s painful. Even when we are chronically unhappy, anxious and self-critical. We stay right there because we’re more afraid of what change will mean and how it will change our lives.  

But when you hit the intersection of change… everything… changes!

I’m sure you can think of at least one time in your life when you were there. You just suddenly knew, you couldn’t keep doing things the same way.

You said, “I can’t do this anymore!”

You might have:

·      Made a change in your career or business

·      Quit the job

·      Started the business

·      Decided to put boundaries in place in a relationship

·      Ended a relationship

·      Started dating

·      Taken the health of your body seriously and started working out or changing your diet

·      Stopped smoking, drinking more than you should or over-eating

 

You got to the intersection of change.

Once you get to that intersection you often need a guide. Someone to help you navigate all the unknowns that are coming up and how you got into the situation in the first place, so you don’t keep repeating the pattern.

That’s where I come in. When you’re at that intersection of change, you’re my favorite client! We work in partnership. I lead you to your inner-wisdom, power and courage. You get the clarity you want and a road map to making the changes you want.

To hear some of my clients talk about the transformations they’ve received, check out this YouTube Playlist.

If you’re at that intersection now, please don’t allow yourself to put it in reverse and back-up. Stay right there and get your resources lined up to navigate the change with you. There are a couple of ways I can help:

1.     Private, one-on-one coaching. This is when you really want to make fast, deep change in your life. Because we spend all our time focused on you and your problem that needs solving, I can coach you into a deeper understanding of yourself and the complexities of the problem. Everything is very specialized to you and what you want and need out of coaching.

2.     One Big Change – You guessed it. This is perfect when you want to create change in your life. It’s a combination of recoded lessons, weekly challenges and inspiration that are delivered to your inbox on Monday, Wednesday and Friday for four weeks. You get to keep all the recordings to listen to whenever you need a refresher. This is a combination of DIT and personal attention because you also get two, 30-minute private coaching sessions with me when you register for this program.

3.     Think Your Way to Success – This is a digital, DIY program. Once you register a link to the content (videos and a worksheet) are delivered to your inbox. You can watch the videos as often as you want and fill out worksheets to your heart’s content. The focus of this program is stressful thoughts. Change is stressful, and every stress comes with a thought. I’ll teach you how to slay the thought and liberate yourself to a more peaceful path that is full of possibilities you didn’t see before. It’s truly magical.

Not sure which option is best for you? Click here to schedule a 15-minute call and we’ll figure it out together. <3

My wish for you is to move into 2019 knowing you’ve invested in your growth, joy, freedom and abundance! There’s no better way to begin a new year!

Calling all Women Entrepreneurs!

I love women entrepreneurs!

Here’s what I want for all of us… 

Let’s be the Queen of our business.

A Queen is bold.

She’s brave.

She’s thoughtful in her endeavors.

She leads her Queendom with clarity and confidence.  

She makes decisions and trusts her judgement.

She gets advice when needed. After considering the advice, she stands in her truth and power, whether others agree or disagree, knowing that she must be true to her own inner wisdom.  

She enjoys her position, her wealth and her influence in the Queendom, without guilt or shame.

She knows she is worthy. Capable. Competent.

Is it easy? No.

Does she always know she is right? No.

Does she ever experience doubt? Of course she does. She is human and she accepts that truth as well.

She makes mistakes and forgives herself.

As the Queen she also knows she knows she has been chosen for this life. To lead. To serve.

She showers herself with love and care. She allows herself pleasure. She knows when she is happy and healthy she serves her Queendom from the highest expression of herself.

Whether she has a man beside her as king, or in her bedroom as a lover, she takes charge of her own sexual pleasure. She knows what her body wants. She can express those desires to her lover and she takes responsibility for her sexual needs and desires, alone or with her lover.

She keeps her heart and mind focused on what she wants for herself and for her Queendom, moving through her day with dignity, power and grace. Offering gratitude for everything.

She does not tolerate cruelty. She knows when to say no. And doesn’t allow others to use her power for their benefit. She knows that not everyone around her has pure intentions. She stands firm in her boundaries, never diminishing her wants, desires or values, goals. She speaks with clarity and confidence.

She never apologizes for her position, her beauty, power or her decisions.

She knows she is a work in progress and that every challenge is a lesson that causes her to become a better version of the Queen she already is.

Will you stand with me and be the Queen of your business and life?  

Join me for my upcoming Masterclass, Be the Queen of your Business, September 27th at 7 pm Eastern, 4 pm Pacific. Register here and get your crown ready!

This is the one question you need to know!

Do you sometimes ask yourself questions that don't exactly help? Questions like, "Why did I do that?" "What's wrong with me?" 

There are so many questions we ask ourselves that are disempowering, make us feel like shit and can send us into a downward spiral. 

Let's stop. 

I've got a lovely, empowering question for you to use as a replacement. 

"Is this loving to me?" 

Simple. Powerful. Gentle. 

It's incredibly helpful. Very practical. It's a question that always has your best interest at heart.

Here's how I've used it: with my to-do list. I look at my list and ask, "Are each of these things loving to me?" If the answer is yes, I do them. If it's no, then I remove them or put it off for another time. I trust that things that genuinely need to be done will get in the "it's loving to me" column in time. 

Here's the other way I use it, when I'm having a bad day. Yep, life coaches have them too, and I'm saying negative, unkind things to myself, like, "you're not doing enough!" "You aren't smart enough to figure out Facebook ads!" I stop and ask myself, "Is that loving to me?" Wow. That stops me dead in my tracks. I stop and let myself feel love for myself. Then I go back to whatever it is I'm doing, with a loving attitude. 

It's such an empowering question. Try it! Tell me how you like it! 

Lions and Tigers and Bears! Oh MY!

Dorothy had lions and tigers and bears! Oh My!  

Many entrepreneurs feel like Dorothy when it comes to: pleasure (no time for that!) Profit (breaking out in a sweat yet?) Power (you feel like your biz is in control! You're rushing to the demands of clients, being responsive to your FB Group and playing catch-up with email.) 

I'm here to help you transform all that rushing, self-doubt and fear into the actual secret to your success! 

What does it look like when Power, Pleasure and Profit are actually the secrets to your success? 

  1. Power - You set better boundaries in personal and professional relationships, or have the confidence to raise your prices or take a bold move to expand your business. You decide how to engage in social media, what new marketing strategies to try and which ones to walk away from and you stop hating your inbox.

  2. Pleasure - You enjoy going to you desk each day, allow yourself a "fun Friday" with no work appointments and spending the day having fun, taking care of yourself and replenish your energy.  You take the time to have great sex-alone or with a partner! It's incredibly energizing and is a catalyst to more creativity and tons of great ideas! 

  3. Profit - You stop dreading looking at the numbers in your business. You cultivate an abundance mindset and feel making money is more like a game you can win, than a mystery you'll never understand. 

Sounds good, right? 

But, how do you do it?

That's what I'm here for. 

I've made the transformation. From fear to confidence. From letting my clients, my inbox and others have the power in my biz. I've definitely transformed pleasure from something to avoid to something I am intentional about, and I've learned how to make being profitable a fun game instead of a dreaded appointment with the accountant! 

I can show you how to do it in your biz.

Join me for kickass masterclass on Tuesday, September 18th! I'm sharing my three secrets to Power, Pleasure and Profit in your Business.

Click here to register. You'll get the link to join, an interactive worksheet and the post-class recording.

I can't wait to share this with you!

Power. Pleasure. Profit. Sound good?

If you’re an entrepreneur, I’m sure you’d like to always stand in your power when it comes to you business.

I know you want more profit!

Has your business and your life lost the thrill of pleasure?

Then I’ve got the solution for you!

Join me on Tuesday, September 18th at 9:00 a.m. Pacific and Noon Eastern for my newest masterclass, Three Secrets to Power, Profit and Pleasure in your Business.

You don’t want to miss this. When you register you’ll get a link to an interactive worksheet and you’ll get the recording afterwards.

Click here to register and get ready for more Power, Pleasure and Profit in your life!

I hate it when I do this!

Have you ever kept quiet when you knew the answer?

Have you ever passed on an opportunity because you thought someone else was more deserving?

Have you ever been less than you are, in an attempt to make someone else feel more comfortable?

How often do we “lose” when we could “win?” Play small in order to fit in, not make waves or not make someone “feel bad.”

It’s time to stop.

That might sound more boss-y than coach-y, but it’s appropriate in this case. Sometimes, we just need to stop doing what we’re doing.

It never serves the world, or our greater good, to be less than we are. Think of yourself as the parent of a talented child. Maybe she’s a brainiac who pretends she doesn’t know the answer so the other kids don’t tease her. Maybe she’s a field hockey player who purposely misses a goal so her teammate doesn’t feel bad for not scoring as many.

If you were her mother, you would tell her to stop that! That her playing small, not being her absolute best, doesn’t serve anyone. That the kid who is teasing her is jealous and the teammate who feels bad, has her own insecurities. And, that’s not her problem. Let them work on their jealously and insecurity with their parents, a teacher or coach. It’s not her job to fix their problems. It’s her job to be the best she can possible be! Isn’t that what you’d tell her?

That’s what I’m here to tell you. Stop shrinking. Stop playing small. Stop being less than you can be.

Here’s where coach Brenda comes in (we’ll set boss-y Brenda aside.) I know that to stop doing something we’ve done for a long time, is easier said than done.

I’ve got two solutions.

1.     Start to become aware of every time you shrink or play small. We can’t change something until we are aware of it, the moment we do it. That creates the opportunity to change and make a different decision. If you’re aware, but still struggle with choosing you to stand in your truth, make a list of the thoughts you have that stop you. They probably sound something like this, “you’re being arrogant.” “Who do you think you are?” “You don’t want to make them feel bad.” Take those thoughts and become your own ideal parent. Tell your beautiful self that your job is to be the best you. If that bothers someone, it’s their job to figure out why they don’t want you to be your best.

2.     My new program, Live Lavishly, is the perfect solution to this challenge. It’s so easy to play small and Live Lavishly has tons of tools to help you break that habit and replace it with empowering decisions and actions. It’s a ‘whole-life’ solution. We dive into everything from our bodies, sex, relationships, money, our careers… we want to Live Lavishly in all aspects of our lives! Join me and a beautiful community of women to stop playing small and getting the tools and skills they need to Live Lavishly! Check out all the details and register here.

Let’s promise each other that we will stop shrinking. No matter how hard it is.

Marianne Williamson said it best, “There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

It's Happening!

I’m in Bloomington, Indiana today! We report to the super-secret photo shoot location at 9:00 a.m. For approximately, eight hours I’ll be hanging out with 10 other delightful women, photographer, Chelsea Sanders, hair and make-up artists, and the crew needed for such a project. All of us models, in our bras and panties, while we get our photos taken. Not a normal Thursday for me.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I wrote about it in Sunday’s blog. Check it out here.

The short version of the story is I applied to an open casting call, for models, to appear in a book called, BARE.

You KNOW I’ll have a lot to say after this beautiful experience! Watch for that!

Follow the adventure on FB with me too! My personal page is here. My private FB Group, for women only, is here.

Sending you love and body positivity!

P.S. If you’re interested in working with me one-on-one, hit reply to this email and we’ll schedule a quick, 10-minute call to see if working together is going to be transformational and magical for you. 🙂

How an ass selfie changed my life

Have you ever taken an ass selfie? It’s not easy. Thankfully, I had a teacher. The incomparable and unapologetically authentic Lux Atl (pole dancer, PhD, feminist) has one on YouTube. You can check it out here. Don’t try an ass selfie without it!

One weekend last winter I had my girlfriends over, for what we call, Goddess Weekend, and I suggested we try to do ass selfies. It was great fun. Trust me, even with the tutorial, it takes some effort!

That photo has been sitting in my phone for six months.

Why does any of this matter? 

I was sexually abused as a little girl. I’ve had a very difficult history with my body. I’ve hated it, cut myself off from it, scorned it, criticized it and even been ashamed of it.

It’s quite liberating to go from body-shame and disconnect, to loving and appreciating my body enough to take a photo of my backside.

But that wasn’t enough. (I’m me after all.)

Recently, in my private FB Group, Live Lavishly: Turning up Your Power From the Boardroom To the Bedroom, (if you are a woman and are interested in joining us, click here, answer the two questions, and we’ll get you approved to join) I posted that ass selfie. Two actually.

Most of the women were supportive, inspired even, that I was comfortable enough with my body to do it. For what it’s worth, I have on underwear in the selfie, so it’s really no different than if you saw my backside at the pool in a two-piece bathing suit. Not exactly pornography. Not particularly daring, really. Maybe a little sexy.

A few women did not like it at all! They left the group because of it. I’m fine with that. I don’t need anyone to approve of my ass selfie. And if all of this bothers you and you want to unsubscribe or unfriend me on FB, please do so. It’s okay. Here’s why…

I want to be the author of my life. I want to be unapologetically authentic. Might I offend someone? Yes. Might I inspire someone? Yes. As far as my body goes, is it perfect? No. Do I look like a Victoria’s Secret model? Definitely not. Is my body beautiful? Yes. And that’s not just my opinion.

Here’s what happened last week.

I got tagged in a FB post for an open casting call for models to appear in a soon-to-be-published book called BARE. The author, Susan Hyatt, has been my coach, teacher, mentor and source of inspiration. I also have a girl-crush on the photographer for this photo shoot, Chelsea Sanders of Blueline. I figured, what the hell, I’ve posted an ass selfie in my FB Group, why not apply for this casting call. I had to submit five photos, at least one had to be in a bra and panties, because that’s what we’ll wear in the photo shoot. I applied.

I was chosen! I am one of 11 women selected to be featured in the book, BARE. I’ll be driving 11 hours to get to Indiana on Wednesday, then be “on set” from 9 – 5 Thursday, then drive 11 hours home on Friday. I can’t wait!

My life has changed.

When we love our bodies, take pleasure in our bodies, express ourselves through our bodies, in ways that feel good to us, when we write our own life story, when we chose to live unapologetically authentically, we are changed.

You don’t have to take an ass selfie. You do you. That’s the point. I have no interest in everyone being like me. I posted an ass selfie to inspire the women in my group to love their body. To not be afraid of their body. To not be ashamed of their body. That’s what felt right for me.

What will you do today to be unapologetically authentic?

Brenda

P.S. If you’re interested in working with me one-on-one, email me and we’ll schedule a quick, 10-minute call to see if working together is going to be transformational and magical for you. 🙂

 

 

Are You Worth It?

I think you are.

You're worth knowing you matter.

You're worth knowing you are enough.

You're worth knowing you are loved.

You're worth living in abundance

You're worth knowing the Universe is conspiring to support you.

I’ll be home from my retreat in two days.

I’m wondering, do you ever struggle with questioning your worth?  

I’ve got some great coaching magic that will transform that feeling of not being worthy.

I put it all in my digital program, Enough Already. I’m finishing up my retreat in Cancun, but you can still register and get going on Module One. I’ll be hosting a coaching call on Thursday, June 28, so you’ll want register before then. Enough Already has four modules and is chock-full of transformational tools to turn that unworthiness into personal power.

The kind of personal power that asks for a raise, leaves a hurtful relationship, starts a business, begins a creative project and changes the world. You can get all the deets here.

I’ll be back tomorrow and I can’t wait to see you!

xoxo, Brenda

PS--

1. I’d love for you to join me in my private FB Group, Live Lavishly: Turn up your power, from the boardroom to the bedroom. It’s a great place to hang out with like-minded women. Sorry guys, this is a “women’s club.” We’re open and honest. We share our victories and support each other when we’re freaking out! Get the support you need. Click here to join the group.

2. Curious about working with me one-on-one? I love working 1:1 with people because we can dig deep and it’s all about you. I’ve got room right now for five new clients. Here’s how easy it is: click here and schedule a 10 minute call. During that call, we’ll see if I’m the right coach for you. I can’t wait to talk to you!

Inner Critic or Inner Cheerleader?

Do you wish you had an inner cheerleader instead of an inner critic?

How many times a day do you catch yourself saying something harsh to yourself?

“That was dumb.”

“I can’t believe you did that!”

“Who do you think you are?”

What if you replaced it with:

“You’re beautiful.”

“I knew you would keep going until you found the solution.”

“I love the way you ______ (cook, fold cloths, dress, treat others, etc.)”

“Your kindness and generosity are inspiring.”

I bet you would be a lot happier.

I bet you would be a lot more productive.

I bet your light would shine even brighter in the world. And goodness knows we need that!

Here’s the deal. I’m shooting straight here. It’s as simple as changing your thoughts. And yes, that can be simple and hard at the same time.

It’s hard to stop something that comes so easily. Ask yourself, “did I think about criticizing myself before I did it?” Probably not. That thought simply appeared in your mind. Boom. There it is. Like a two-year-old that wandered into the yard.

When we let a two-year-old wander in the yard, without a fence or supervision, sooner or later, she’ll wander out into the street. That’s where the real danger is.

Your mind is an inner two-year-old!

Unless you put a fence around it, unless you say, “No,” she will wander and wander until she runs into the street. 

You know what I’m talking about. Your mind can take you on a journey that spirals from “I wish I had enough money to eat out tonight,” to, “I’m going to be a bag-lady living under a bridge!” in a skinny minute. Or this one, “My kid is late coming home from dance lessons,” to, “My kid has been hit by a car and is in the hospital or (if you really want to go dark) is dead.”

We all do it. The unchecked mind takes us on all kinds of trips.

You can train your mind to go to a much nicer place. You can train it to support, love and nurture you like a perfect parent would. It can become, your inner cheerleader.

It does take work, but let me tell you, it’s worth it! The freedom and empowerment are amazing!

As a coach, I love helping people make this type of shift, from inner critic to inner cheerleader. In fact, I have a FREE training next week on that very topic! Why don’t you join me? We’re gathering at 7:30 Eastern, 4:30 Pacific on Thursday, May 31st.

I’ll be taking you through a specific process I’ve used in my own life and use with clients. You’re going to love it!

Click here to register for Turn Off Your Inner Critic and Turn On Your Inner Cheerleader.

When we live lavishly, our inner cheerleader is in charge of the motivation in our lives!  

Who “runs the show” in your life?

Is it your kids, your spouse, your cranky boss, the economy, your friends or an organization you belong to?

Here’s the deal, if you feel like they are "running the show." 

They are zapping your power.

You need to "run the show" of your life.

That’s where the power is.

And I don’t mean power-over. Yuk. No one wants that.

I’m talking legit, earned, deserved, personal power. The power that is yours to use or set aside and let someone else ‘run the show.’

Personal power is kind.

Personal power has clarity.

Personal power asks for what it needs and wants.

If you sometimes struggle with accessing your personal power, it’s time for an upgrade!

I’ve got just the thing.

Join me tomorrow evening. That’s Monday, May 21, at 7:30 pm Eastern/4:30 pm Pacific for a free webinar, Upgrade Your Earning Power. We’re going to talk about the thoughts we have that prevent us from accessing our personal power. More importantly, I’m going to give you some awesome coaching tools to slay those thoughts.

You’ll leave the webinar empowered to:

·         Ask for a raise

·         Volunteer for the high-profile project

·         For entrepreneurs, you’ll have the confidence to raise your price or expand your business

·         Ask for what you need in any area of your life.

It may seem too good to be true, but it’s not. If you’ll spend an hour with me, in a quiet place without distractions, I’ll show you exactly what I did to coach myself through some serious professional hurdles (think jobless and almost penniless, I’ll tell you all about it on the webinar), and I’ve used the same strategy in every area of my life.

These tools will help you amplify your personal power and that makes figuring out the next step really easy.

You can signup for the webinar here.

I can’t wait to see how your life will change when you Upgrade Your Earning Power!  

Ubuntu

“I am, because of you.” Ubuntu is a Zulu word. I found several variations on the definition. All the variations speak to this idea of humanity and connection.

One of my favorite TEDTalks speaks to the dynamic of Ubunto. Boyd Varty lives in South Africa. His family has been running a safari business and restoring their land back to it’s natural state for four generations. (We’ve been talking a lot about dreams lately and I can tell you, one of my dreams is to go to their game reserve, Londolozi.)

I am, because of you.

This is why the things we do matter.

This is why our dreams matter.

This is why it’s so important for me to Live Lavishly.

Everything I put out into the world has a ripple effect.

Everything you put out into the world has a ripple effect.

What kind of effect are we creating?

We create this effect on others all day, every day.

Do you greet the day, your family, your co-workers, the dry cleaner, grocery store clerk, or customer service representative with a smile? With a frown? As silly as it may sound, it matters.

How many times have you been cheered up because of a random stranger or an unexpectedly cheerful co-worker?

We all have so much more power than we imagine.

You have the power to have an effect on your family, friends, co-worker and even strangers.

An act of kindness.

An act of generosity.

An act of compassion.

An act of love.

What will you do today to demonstrate the concept of Ubuntu? Being the person, you would want someone else to be. Generous, friendly, compassionate, loving.

Tell me all about it! I can’t wait to hear what you did today!

What kind of a question is that?

Life is all about the questions we ask.

Think about it.

No matter what the issue, the way we ask the question sets the stage for what answers will emerge.

Take for example, you have a money challenge. Maybe you have a money crisis.

You can ask, “How in the world am I going to have enough money to pay my bills (or go on vacation or buy something I want/need)?"

What answers will emerge from that question? Probably nothing helpful. Things like, “It’s not possible. I’ll never make enough, never have enough to do what I want, never pay my bills.”

Why is that? It’s because we’re asking the question from the same mindset that created the challenge in the first place. We’ve gotten ourselves to the point that we don’t have enough to pay our bills or go on vacation or anything else we want. (Trust me, I have no judgement about that. Been there, done that with money.) But here’s the deal, the mindset that created that crisis can’t solve it.

Why mindset matters

We all have our normal ways of looking at things. Normal reactions, normal behaviors. They are patterns, or habits, we’ve adopted for how we think, the feelings we have and the way we react to challenges.

Einstein said, “You can’t solve a problem from the mindset that created it.” When we ask questions like, “How am I going to do that?” all we do is tap into that habitual mindset--the one we have without any effort, without even thinking about.

Changing our mindset.

How do we shift into a new mindset so that we can solve a problem or challenge? Ask a better question. Let’s try it.

Back to our challenge of not enough money at the end of the month. Or not enough money for vacation, a new car, braces for the kids, whatever it is. What if we asked, “What would be a fun way I could make some extra money?” or “What would be a painless and easy way to save money over the next few weeks?”

Can you feel the difference? “What would be a fun way to solve this problem?” has a lot more possibility in it than, “How can I solve the problem?” “How can I solve the problem?” has a bit of a victim tone to it. It almost assumes you can’t. Asking, “What would be a fun way to solve the problem?” assumes there’s a solution. We’re just looking for the one that is the most fun.

Empower yourself with your questions.

What is your current challenge and what question you are asking yourself?

Is it an empowering question that presumes multiple possibilities? Or is a question that takes you back to the mindset that created the problem? Or a question that puts you in a victim position?

Here are few examples of empowering questions I like to ask myself when I’m challenged.

·         What can I do to bring ease and peace into this situation?

·         What would a woman in love with herself do?

·         What would be a fun way to solve this problem?

·         What change can I make, right now, to improve the situation?

·         What possibilities can I find that will be aligned with the highest expression of myself?

·         How can I be of service in this situation?

·         What possibilities am I missing? (This is a great time to phone a friend and brainstorm with them.)

·         How is this situation benefiting me? (Or how is it for my good?)

Think about the challenges you are facing right now.

What are the questions you’re asking yourself?

How can you turn them into empowering questions?

Stump the coach

If you’re stuck and can’t find an empowering question, I’d love to help. Put your question in the comments below and I’ll help you come up with a new question.

It's You! You're the one.

It’s you! You’re the one.

There is no one just like you. Of all the people on this over-populated planet, there’s not one that is just like you. Or me, for that matter.

You are a unique expression of the Divine.

You have unique gifts and ideas that the world needs.

It’s so liberating to allow yourself to feel and act out of your uniqueness.

It’s not arrogant. It’s not egotistical.

I really 'got this' when I was in Paris this summer. I have my own unique gifts and I need to be the best me I can be. 

I love Marianne Williamanson’s quote on just that topic. I’ll tell you about it in the video.

Let’s talk about how to know that you’re it. You’re the one!