Personal Power

The Sick Baby that Changed Everything!

Do you have anything in your life, right now, that is bugging the hell out of you?

I do.

It might be a job that drives you nuts or sucks you dry.

Or a relationship where you don’t feel seen or heard and you feel like you want to scream half the time!

It could be your finances, you hate where you live, your car broke down…again… or any number of other things you want to be different.

If I could wave a magic wand and those things would begin to transform into something new… would you like that?

You’ve come to the right place.

I was given the wand today by one of my teacher’s, Kai Shanti. Check out her YouTube Channel and you’ll get to know her magic.

We were talking about a few of the things in my life that are bugging the hell out of me. I am totally, 100% aware that I am resisting them. And I know better. As someone famous said, “What you resist, persists.”

But, knowing you’re resisting and being able to stop it, are two different things.

Yes, I help clients get out of their own resistance all the time. That doesn’t mean I don’t need a little help getting out of mine. We don’t let surgeons operate on themselves for a reason.

At any rate, as I was lamenting my awareness that I was resisting, but also how stuck I was in it, she gave me this perfect metaphor and it changed everything. Instantly.

A sick baby.

She asked me, if I had a sick baby, would I still love it?

Of course I would! I have four kids, this is a metaphor I can totally relate to. If you don’t relate to it, that’s cool, substitute a pet of some sort, or a plant. If you love something or someone and they get sick, you still love them. Your love doesn’t diminish because they are a total pain in the neck!

Let’s face it, sick babies, pets, even plants, can be a pain in the neck. There’s the constant caring for them, which means you probably aren’t getting the rest you need. There are the Dr./Vet/Botanist visits that cost money, take time and aren’t always that helpful. Need I go on?

And, it never changes your love for him/her/it. In fact, sometimes your love deepens.

What if we applied that to ourselves?

Forget the irritating boss, co-worker, spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, your finances, your credit score, where you live, etc.

Look at you. Everything about you and your life at the moment. And just like you would do with that sick baby, love it. Love everything about it. Just love it.

When we are in love, pure love, we know that somehow, things will be okay. We’ll get through it. A solution will show itself.

Do we try to change it? Sure.

We don’t look at a sick baby and say, “you’re going to be a sick baby the rest of your life.”

Hell no!

We look for medicine, we look for people who have healed from the disease and see what we can learn, we do research, we try different things. We never give up.

And, we never stop loving the baby. Whether all the things we try work or not.

Today, I encourage you to do what I did.

Love the fucking sick baby!! Love the hell out of her.

Love is always the best way to find a solution or notice a synchronicity or get some inspired action.

Love is the opposite of resistance. You can’t resist the baby and love the baby, so without even trying, your resistance will drop away, because of the power of your love.

I’d be honored to help you figure out how to love your sick baby and move towards whatever the path to healing is.

I’ve got a few spots open for one-on-one clients. Let’s explore if it’s right for you. Book a free 15-minute Discovery Call and we’ll figure it out and go from there.

You might also like my 100 Days of Living Orgasmically video series. Yes, I’m using orgasm as a metaphor, and it’s an amazing one. Check out the entire playlist here. You can’t live orgasmically if you’re not loving your sick baby. This I know for sure.

100 Days of Living Orgasmically

You read that right.

100 Days of Living Orgasmically.

I’m creating a video series where I’ll use orgasm as a metaphor for life!

It’s a perfect metaphor in so many ways.

Shame kills an orgasm.

Self-care makes it easier.

No one outside of ourselves really has the power to give it to us - or take it away from us.

Orgasms can be empowering.

They connect us to our bodies and our soul.

They can connect us to someone else’s body and soul.

It’s the highest experience of pleasure.

Isn’t that what you’d like to say about your life on your death bed?

I do.

Join me. It all starts Thursday, August 1, 2019.

It’s going to be provocative. Fun. Irreverent at times. Inspirational. Thought provoking.

We’re going to transform our lives from the inside out. It’s the only way.

You’ll find the videos each day in two places; my YouTube Channel will have a playlist. You can watch and comment from there. They will also be in my private Facebook Group, Live Lavishly: The Art of Sustainable Transformation. I’ll do some of them live in the group, but everything will be added to the Youtube Playlist. If you aren’t a member of the private FB Group you can join here.

Why I had to remove my Mom from my email list!

Here’s the truth.

I have a lot to say about how to live a life that is unapologetically authentic (including that it means that life is not perfect!)

I’m all about taking risks.

I will put my life on the line to be truthful to myself and what I feel guided to do in my life.

And… that doesn’t mean I don’t look back and ask, “What the fuck was I thinking! I was totally operating out of fear and my ego!”

But… I don’t live with regrets. I go for it and clean up the messes I make as I go!

Here’s the problem.

I realized recently, that when it comes to what I say publicly and on social media, at times, I’m super truthful and even provocative. Yay! It always feels good because it is unapologetically authentic.

But sometimes I hold back.

Sometimes I “tone it down.” Yuk!

I’ve been told most of my life that I am “too much.” I want too much. I talk too loud. I laugh too loud. I say too much about my life. I talk about sex too much.

What quickly follows, “too much,” is “who do you think you are?”

How many times have we been asked that from others? Or, honestly, it’s often a self-inflicted question.

Who do you think you are?

I really, really want you to take some time, in a beautiful and peaceful place, and answer that question. It will change your life. Leave all your judgment behind. Leave all your ideas about what others will say or who they want you to be, or who you think they think they want you to be! (Yes, you read that right. Most of these things are things we think others are thinking.)

Recently, I came to terms with my need to stop “toning it down.”.

And then I took my mom off my email list.

Because, frankly, she doesn’t need to know everything I think and say, and I am committed to being truthful. If she does hear about it, I’ll deal with that.

If I trip and fall and start toning it down, I’ll stop it and go back to the truth, even if it upsets someone! Even my mom.

Because I can answer that question, “who do you think you are?”. I am bold. I am loud. I want more. I want a big, big life in every way. I want to help my clients transform their lives. I want everyone to have the great sex they deserve. I want everyone to work in the careers or businesses that thrill them. I want everyone to have a partner, spouse, lover that is their equal. That honors them, loves them, cheers them on, and nurtures them. Or, be single and love it! I want everyone to heal themselves, because then the world will be healed.

On Thursday I’ll be introducing the most provocative, exciting video series I’ve ever done, and in August, I’ll have a program with the same theme. The videos and the program will transform the way you think about your life!

That’s a BIG STATEMENT! But I can handle it. I’m BIG. I want more for me and you!

The square peg - round hole trap

I am a master at this!

And, I fucking hate it!

I get an idea. It’s usually when I’m stressed. I know… that should be my first sign…

And I think, “Sure. I can do that. I can make that work.”

You see I pride myself on being a survivor. One of those women who can “figure it out,” no matter what challenge comes up.

And I do. And, sometimes it’s been amazing.

And sometimes I’m just shoving my fucking square peg into a round hole, smiling and pretending all the while that I can really do this. If I just hang in there a little longer. If I try a little harder.

Then I wake up one day (that’s what it’s like for me. A sudden flash of total clarity.) and I’m like, “fuck! I know what’s wrong! I’m shoving my square peg into a round hole and I hate the way that feels!”

Then, I get myself out of whatever I’ve gotten myself into.

It might be a romantic relationship, or even a marriage. It might be a job, a place I live or something I volunteer for.

Here’s what I know for sure, no matter what the price, getting my square peg out of a round hole ALWAYS makes my life better. It’s a personal win.

And magically, a door open, usually almost immediately, that gives me an opportunity to use my energy and talents in a way that is right for me. A square peg in a square hole, so-to-speak.

Can you relate? What are you doing in your life, right now, that feels like a square peg in a round hole. I’d love to hear about it. We all do it.

The trick is, getting ourselves out of it and noticing faster when we do it the next time. That’s called unapologetic evolution. I will never apologize for stepping into the next best version of myself! And neither should you!

Have you ever gone speechless?

And I don’t mean in a good way.

Speechless.

When you know you need to say something.

To stand up for yourself.

To stand up for someone else.

To stop a racist comment or bully.

To ask for what you want or need.

It’s happened to me. I imagine it happens to everyone.

And it’s so painful.

We wish we could have a “do-over”

We feel diminished. Flat.

One of the joys of my life is helping men and women find their voice. To speak up.

I’m sure you have areas in your life where you do speak up. You do ask for what you need.

And then there are parts of life where you don’t.

Maybe it’s your relationship. Or job. Of it’s this one particular friend, or volunteer group you work with.

You can’t seem to say, “no.”

You can’t seem to find the words or the right time to say what you really, really want to say!

That’s where a I come in.

I work with clients all the time to find their truth, power and purpose in life. (Sometimes that’s the easy part.)

Then I help them speak up.

Speak up for what they need and want.

Speak up for what is acceptable and what it not.

Speak from their authentic self with clarity, confidence and most importantly, without guilt!

It may seem impossible, but it’s not. Trust me.

We all go speechless at times. It doesn’t need to define you or your life.

You can speak up.

I’ve got a super-summer-speak-up deal for you!

Two, one-on-one coaching sessions with me for only $200! That’s a big discount and I’m good with that.

Some people aren’t sure a life coach can really help them. I can help you. And I’m dropping the bar to the resistance so you can experience it.

All you do is book your 15-minute Discovery Call here, before June 7th, and if we decide to work together, I’ll invoice you for your two sessions. Then you book them. BAM! That’s it. Super easy.

Let’s agree right now, not to go speechless again.

The Power Button

You have a power button.

The power button, literally, turns you on.

When you hit the power button, you’re clear. You’re confident. You’re ready for whatever life throws at you!

Do you feel like you lost your power button? 

Or maybe you haven’t used it lately. 

Come on over. I’ve got the keys to the “lost and found.”

We all lose our power buttons from time-to-time. Or maybe I should say, from situation to situation.

There are people and situations that can pull the plug, right out of that power button.

It might be your boss, or in-laws.

It could be a client or your finances.

It might be your health or your kids.

Whatever it is, it always feels like they get the best of you. They win. They have the power.

I’m here to tell you, it isn’t true.

Anytime we feel like someone or something “make us feel” or “we didn’t have a choice.” That’s how we know we’ve lost our power.

I can help you get you power back.

Sound too good to be true?

It’s not.

It’s what I do. All day. Every day. For every client.

Some days is a man or woman needing to decide whether to stay or go from their relationship. And if they go, what do they say and how do they recreate their lives?

Some days it’s working with an entrepreneur that feels like their web designer or virtual assistant is out of control and they don’t know what to do. Or their business is out of control, or frankly, they are out of control when it comes to their business! That happens to every entrepreneur!

Some day’s it’s a mom with her kid going off to college trying to figure out how let him go.

Whatever it is, it’s always about taking your power back. Knowing you can push the power button and get back in charge of your life in a way that is loving and respectful of those around you and doesn’t comprise who you are and your well-being. 

We always find the power button.

Can I help you find yours? Book a free 15-minute call with me and let’s find out. There’s no obligation and I promise; you’ll feel better afterwards. Click here to book yours today.

Do you ever stress about money?

There's nothing that stirs up stress more than money!

I bet you can remember a time when you had the thought, "I don't have enough money." Maybe you had that thought today!

I have the cure for that thought, and any other thought that creates anxiety and stress!

It's all in my program, Think Your Way to Success.

Here's how it works.There are six videos. One outlines the entire process, the other five take each step individually. I'll walk you through all of it. It's not hard. Each video is only about 5 minutes long. There's also a worksheet you can use to help you. Then you put the process into action.

Let's take the thought, "I don't have enough money." I'm just going to run it through the first two questions so you get a taste of the magic that is waiting for you in Think Your Way to Success.

When I ask myself the first question, "Is it true?" or the second question,"Is it absolutely true?" and I slow down my frantic, freaked-out mind that is being driven by fear, I find my answer, and it's a, "no."

How do I know the answer is, "no?" Because I only have the money I have. I'm arguing with reality when I have the thought, "I don't have enough money."

I know what you're thinking, "but I actually DON'T have enough money. I can't pay my bills."

I hear you and I've been there, so I say this from experience. It's still not true.

When we argue with reality, it is stressful. What if I reframed my story. "I'm a woman without the money to pay all her bills, (if that's a fact, it's a fact and it doesn't not have to have shame or embarrassment with it. I'm also a woman who is 5'10. I don't have shame or embarrassment about that. If you have shame or embarrassment, there are other thoughts surrounding it that tell you good people, smart people, responsible people always have the money to pay their bills, etc.) and I'm grateful that new opportunities are always coming to me that allow me to receive more money. I am loving to myself during challenging times and I know there's always something for me to learn."

The reframe allows me to be in the same circumstance and not be stressed. Which thought will ultimately help me find a way out of my situation and into something more profitable for me? That's right, the reframe.

Here's the big lie your mind tells you, that by being afraid, or freaked out, or hyper-vigilant about anticipating the worst-case scenario, you'll be safer. It's not true. The best solutions are always found when we are calm and in an attitude of love and gratitude.

I'm not saying it's easy. You're going against thousands of years of fear-based programing, but I promise you, when you slay the stressful thought, even in the same circumstances, you miraculously find a solution. And it's a loving solution. Not a stressful, critical or shaming one.

Magic is available.

Think Your Way to Success is the tool.

Work the tool and find the magic. <3

Read more about Think Your Way to Success, and get it in your toolbox, here.

Are you at the Intersection of Change?

As a Life Coach people often ask me, “what makes people ready for change?”

The answer is simple. The pain of staying the same is worse than the fear of change.

Change always means stepping into the unknown.

That’s uncomfortable for most of us. It seems so much safer to be in what we know.

Unfortunately, we often choose the known, even when it’s painful. Even when we are chronically unhappy, anxious and self-critical. We stay right there because we’re more afraid of what change will mean and how it will change our lives.  

But when you hit the intersection of change… everything… changes!

I’m sure you can think of at least one time in your life when you were there. You just suddenly knew, you couldn’t keep doing things the same way.

You said, “I can’t do this anymore!”

You might have:

·      Made a change in your career or business

·      Quit the job

·      Started the business

·      Decided to put boundaries in place in a relationship

·      Ended a relationship

·      Started dating

·      Taken the health of your body seriously and started working out or changing your diet

·      Stopped smoking, drinking more than you should or over-eating

 

You got to the intersection of change.

Once you get to that intersection you often need a guide. Someone to help you navigate all the unknowns that are coming up and how you got into the situation in the first place, so you don’t keep repeating the pattern.

That’s where I come in. When you’re at that intersection of change, you’re my favorite client! We work in partnership. I lead you to your inner-wisdom, power and courage. You get the clarity you want and a road map to making the changes you want.

To hear some of my clients talk about the transformations they’ve received, check out this YouTube Playlist.

If you’re at that intersection now, please don’t allow yourself to put it in reverse and back-up. Stay right there and get your resources lined up to navigate the change with you. There are a couple of ways I can help:

1.     Private, one-on-one coaching. This is when you really want to make fast, deep change in your life. Because we spend all our time focused on you and your problem that needs solving, I can coach you into a deeper understanding of yourself and the complexities of the problem. Everything is very specialized to you and what you want and need out of coaching.

2.     One Big Change – You guessed it. This is perfect when you want to create change in your life. It’s a combination of recoded lessons, weekly challenges and inspiration that are delivered to your inbox on Monday, Wednesday and Friday for four weeks. You get to keep all the recordings to listen to whenever you need a refresher. This is a combination of DIT and personal attention because you also get two, 30-minute private coaching sessions with me when you register for this program.

3.     Think Your Way to Success – This is a digital, DIY program. Once you register a link to the content (videos and a worksheet) are delivered to your inbox. You can watch the videos as often as you want and fill out worksheets to your heart’s content. The focus of this program is stressful thoughts. Change is stressful, and every stress comes with a thought. I’ll teach you how to slay the thought and liberate yourself to a more peaceful path that is full of possibilities you didn’t see before. It’s truly magical.

Not sure which option is best for you? Click here to schedule a 15-minute call and we’ll figure it out together. <3

My wish for you is to move into 2019 knowing you’ve invested in your growth, joy, freedom and abundance! There’s no better way to begin a new year!

Calling all Women Entrepreneurs!

I love women entrepreneurs!

Here’s what I want for all of us… 

Let’s be the Queen of our business.

A Queen is bold.

She’s brave.

She’s thoughtful in her endeavors.

She leads her Queendom with clarity and confidence.  

She makes decisions and trusts her judgement.

She gets advice when needed. After considering the advice, she stands in her truth and power, whether others agree or disagree, knowing that she must be true to her own inner wisdom.  

She enjoys her position, her wealth and her influence in the Queendom, without guilt or shame.

She knows she is worthy. Capable. Competent.

Is it easy? No.

Does she always know she is right? No.

Does she ever experience doubt? Of course she does. She is human and she accepts that truth as well.

She makes mistakes and forgives herself.

As the Queen she also knows she knows she has been chosen for this life. To lead. To serve.

She showers herself with love and care. She allows herself pleasure. She knows when she is happy and healthy she serves her Queendom from the highest expression of herself.

Whether she has a man beside her as king, or in her bedroom as a lover, she takes charge of her own sexual pleasure. She knows what her body wants. She can express those desires to her lover and she takes responsibility for her sexual needs and desires, alone or with her lover.

She keeps her heart and mind focused on what she wants for herself and for her Queendom, moving through her day with dignity, power and grace. Offering gratitude for everything.

She does not tolerate cruelty. She knows when to say no. And doesn’t allow others to use her power for their benefit. She knows that not everyone around her has pure intentions. She stands firm in her boundaries, never diminishing her wants, desires or values, goals. She speaks with clarity and confidence.

She never apologizes for her position, her beauty, power or her decisions.

She knows she is a work in progress and that every challenge is a lesson that causes her to become a better version of the Queen she already is.

Will you stand with me and be the Queen of your business and life?  

Join me for my upcoming Masterclass, Be the Queen of your Business, September 27th at 7 pm Eastern, 4 pm Pacific. Register here and get your crown ready!

This is the one question you need to know!

Do you sometimes ask yourself questions that don't exactly help? Questions like, "Why did I do that?" "What's wrong with me?" 

There are so many questions we ask ourselves that are disempowering, make us feel like shit and can send us into a downward spiral. 

Let's stop. 

I've got a lovely, empowering question for you to use as a replacement. 

"Is this loving to me?" 

Simple. Powerful. Gentle. 

It's incredibly helpful. Very practical. It's a question that always has your best interest at heart.

Here's how I've used it: with my to-do list. I look at my list and ask, "Are each of these things loving to me?" If the answer is yes, I do them. If it's no, then I remove them or put it off for another time. I trust that things that genuinely need to be done will get in the "it's loving to me" column in time. 

Here's the other way I use it, when I'm having a bad day. Yep, life coaches have them too, and I'm saying negative, unkind things to myself, like, "you're not doing enough!" "You aren't smart enough to figure out Facebook ads!" I stop and ask myself, "Is that loving to me?" Wow. That stops me dead in my tracks. I stop and let myself feel love for myself. Then I go back to whatever it is I'm doing, with a loving attitude. 

It's such an empowering question. Try it! Tell me how you like it! 

Lions and Tigers and Bears! Oh MY!

Dorothy had lions and tigers and bears! Oh My!  

Many entrepreneurs feel like Dorothy when it comes to: pleasure (no time for that!) Profit (breaking out in a sweat yet?) Power (you feel like your biz is in control! You're rushing to the demands of clients, being responsive to your FB Group and playing catch-up with email.) 

I'm here to help you transform all that rushing, self-doubt and fear into the actual secret to your success! 

What does it look like when Power, Pleasure and Profit are actually the secrets to your success? 

  1. Power - You set better boundaries in personal and professional relationships, or have the confidence to raise your prices or take a bold move to expand your business. You decide how to engage in social media, what new marketing strategies to try and which ones to walk away from and you stop hating your inbox.

  2. Pleasure - You enjoy going to you desk each day, allow yourself a "fun Friday" with no work appointments and spending the day having fun, taking care of yourself and replenish your energy.  You take the time to have great sex-alone or with a partner! It's incredibly energizing and is a catalyst to more creativity and tons of great ideas! 

  3. Profit - You stop dreading looking at the numbers in your business. You cultivate an abundance mindset and feel making money is more like a game you can win, than a mystery you'll never understand. 

Sounds good, right? 

But, how do you do it?

That's what I'm here for. 

I've made the transformation. From fear to confidence. From letting my clients, my inbox and others have the power in my biz. I've definitely transformed pleasure from something to avoid to something I am intentional about, and I've learned how to make being profitable a fun game instead of a dreaded appointment with the accountant! 

I can show you how to do it in your biz.

Join me for kickass masterclass on Tuesday, September 18th! I'm sharing my three secrets to Power, Pleasure and Profit in your Business.

Click here to register. You'll get the link to join, an interactive worksheet and the post-class recording.

I can't wait to share this with you!

Power. Pleasure. Profit. Sound good?

If you’re an entrepreneur, I’m sure you’d like to always stand in your power when it comes to you business.

I know you want more profit!

Has your business and your life lost the thrill of pleasure?

Then I’ve got the solution for you!

Join me on Tuesday, September 18th at 9:00 a.m. Pacific and Noon Eastern for my newest masterclass, Three Secrets to Power, Profit and Pleasure in your Business.

You don’t want to miss this. When you register you’ll get a link to an interactive worksheet and you’ll get the recording afterwards.

Click here to register and get ready for more Power, Pleasure and Profit in your life!

I hate it when I do this!

Have you ever kept quiet when you knew the answer?

Have you ever passed on an opportunity because you thought someone else was more deserving?

Have you ever been less than you are, in an attempt to make someone else feel more comfortable?

How often do we “lose” when we could “win?” Play small in order to fit in, not make waves or not make someone “feel bad.”

It’s time to stop.

That might sound more boss-y than coach-y, but it’s appropriate in this case. Sometimes, we just need to stop doing what we’re doing.

It never serves the world, or our greater good, to be less than we are. Think of yourself as the parent of a talented child. Maybe she’s a brainiac who pretends she doesn’t know the answer so the other kids don’t tease her. Maybe she’s a field hockey player who purposely misses a goal so her teammate doesn’t feel bad for not scoring as many.

If you were her mother, you would tell her to stop that! That her playing small, not being her absolute best, doesn’t serve anyone. That the kid who is teasing her is jealous and the teammate who feels bad, has her own insecurities. And, that’s not her problem. Let them work on their jealously and insecurity with their parents, a teacher or coach. It’s not her job to fix their problems. It’s her job to be the best she can possible be! Isn’t that what you’d tell her?

That’s what I’m here to tell you. Stop shrinking. Stop playing small. Stop being less than you can be.

Here’s where coach Brenda comes in (we’ll set boss-y Brenda aside.) I know that to stop doing something we’ve done for a long time, is easier said than done.

I’ve got two solutions.

1.     Start to become aware of every time you shrink or play small. We can’t change something until we are aware of it, the moment we do it. That creates the opportunity to change and make a different decision. If you’re aware, but still struggle with choosing you to stand in your truth, make a list of the thoughts you have that stop you. They probably sound something like this, “you’re being arrogant.” “Who do you think you are?” “You don’t want to make them feel bad.” Take those thoughts and become your own ideal parent. Tell your beautiful self that your job is to be the best you. If that bothers someone, it’s their job to figure out why they don’t want you to be your best.

2.     My new program, Live Lavishly, is the perfect solution to this challenge. It’s so easy to play small and Live Lavishly has tons of tools to help you break that habit and replace it with empowering decisions and actions. It’s a ‘whole-life’ solution. We dive into everything from our bodies, sex, relationships, money, our careers… we want to Live Lavishly in all aspects of our lives! Join me and a beautiful community of women to stop playing small and getting the tools and skills they need to Live Lavishly! Check out all the details and register here.

Let’s promise each other that we will stop shrinking. No matter how hard it is.

Marianne Williamson said it best, “There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

It's Happening!

I’m in Bloomington, Indiana today! We report to the super-secret photo shoot location at 9:00 a.m. For approximately, eight hours I’ll be hanging out with 10 other delightful women, photographer, Chelsea Sanders, hair and make-up artists, and the crew needed for such a project. All of us models, in our bras and panties, while we get our photos taken. Not a normal Thursday for me.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I wrote about it in Sunday’s blog. Check it out here.

The short version of the story is I applied to an open casting call, for models, to appear in a book called, BARE.

You KNOW I’ll have a lot to say after this beautiful experience! Watch for that!

Follow the adventure on FB with me too! My personal page is here. My private FB Group, for women only, is here.

Sending you love and body positivity!

P.S. If you’re interested in working with me one-on-one, hit reply to this email and we’ll schedule a quick, 10-minute call to see if working together is going to be transformational and magical for you. 🙂

How an ass selfie changed my life

Have you ever taken an ass selfie? It’s not easy. Thankfully, I had a teacher. The incomparable and unapologetically authentic Lux Atl (pole dancer, PhD, feminist) has one on YouTube. You can check it out here. Don’t try an ass selfie without it!

One weekend last winter I had my girlfriends over, for what we call, Goddess Weekend, and I suggested we try to do ass selfies. It was great fun. Trust me, even with the tutorial, it takes some effort!

That photo has been sitting in my phone for six months.

Why does any of this matter? 

I was sexually abused as a little girl. I’ve had a very difficult history with my body. I’ve hated it, cut myself off from it, scorned it, criticized it and even been ashamed of it.

It’s quite liberating to go from body-shame and disconnect, to loving and appreciating my body enough to take a photo of my backside.

But that wasn’t enough. (I’m me after all.)

Recently, in my private FB Group, Live Lavishly: Turning up Your Power From the Boardroom To the Bedroom, (if you are a woman and are interested in joining us, click here, answer the two questions, and we’ll get you approved to join) I posted that ass selfie. Two actually.

Most of the women were supportive, inspired even, that I was comfortable enough with my body to do it. For what it’s worth, I have on underwear in the selfie, so it’s really no different than if you saw my backside at the pool in a two-piece bathing suit. Not exactly pornography. Not particularly daring, really. Maybe a little sexy.

A few women did not like it at all! They left the group because of it. I’m fine with that. I don’t need anyone to approve of my ass selfie. And if all of this bothers you and you want to unsubscribe or unfriend me on FB, please do so. It’s okay. Here’s why…

I want to be the author of my life. I want to be unapologetically authentic. Might I offend someone? Yes. Might I inspire someone? Yes. As far as my body goes, is it perfect? No. Do I look like a Victoria’s Secret model? Definitely not. Is my body beautiful? Yes. And that’s not just my opinion.

Here’s what happened last week.

I got tagged in a FB post for an open casting call for models to appear in a soon-to-be-published book called BARE. The author, Susan Hyatt, has been my coach, teacher, mentor and source of inspiration. I also have a girl-crush on the photographer for this photo shoot, Chelsea Sanders of Blueline. I figured, what the hell, I’ve posted an ass selfie in my FB Group, why not apply for this casting call. I had to submit five photos, at least one had to be in a bra and panties, because that’s what we’ll wear in the photo shoot. I applied.

I was chosen! I am one of 11 women selected to be featured in the book, BARE. I’ll be driving 11 hours to get to Indiana on Wednesday, then be “on set” from 9 – 5 Thursday, then drive 11 hours home on Friday. I can’t wait!

My life has changed.

When we love our bodies, take pleasure in our bodies, express ourselves through our bodies, in ways that feel good to us, when we write our own life story, when we chose to live unapologetically authentically, we are changed.

You don’t have to take an ass selfie. You do you. That’s the point. I have no interest in everyone being like me. I posted an ass selfie to inspire the women in my group to love their body. To not be afraid of their body. To not be ashamed of their body. That’s what felt right for me.

What will you do today to be unapologetically authentic?

Brenda

P.S. If you’re interested in working with me one-on-one, email me and we’ll schedule a quick, 10-minute call to see if working together is going to be transformational and magical for you. 🙂

 

 

Are You Worth It?

I think you are.

You're worth knowing you matter.

You're worth knowing you are enough.

You're worth knowing you are loved.

You're worth living in abundance

You're worth knowing the Universe is conspiring to support you.

I’ll be home from my retreat in two days.

I’m wondering, do you ever struggle with questioning your worth?  

I’ve got some great coaching magic that will transform that feeling of not being worthy.

I put it all in my digital program, Enough Already. I’m finishing up my retreat in Cancun, but you can still register and get going on Module One. I’ll be hosting a coaching call on Thursday, June 28, so you’ll want register before then. Enough Already has four modules and is chock-full of transformational tools to turn that unworthiness into personal power.

The kind of personal power that asks for a raise, leaves a hurtful relationship, starts a business, begins a creative project and changes the world. You can get all the deets here.

I’ll be back tomorrow and I can’t wait to see you!

xoxo, Brenda

PS--

1. I’d love for you to join me in my private FB Group, Live Lavishly: Turn up your power, from the boardroom to the bedroom. It’s a great place to hang out with like-minded women. Sorry guys, this is a “women’s club.” We’re open and honest. We share our victories and support each other when we’re freaking out! Get the support you need. Click here to join the group.

2. Curious about working with me one-on-one? I love working 1:1 with people because we can dig deep and it’s all about you. I’ve got room right now for five new clients. Here’s how easy it is: click here and schedule a 10 minute call. During that call, we’ll see if I’m the right coach for you. I can’t wait to talk to you!