Infinite Possibilities

The Dreaded "Dark Night of the Soul"

A ‘Dark Night of the Soul’ is when you’re drowning in difficult circumstances.

When the things that used to work, when life served you lemons, don’t work.

You can’t figure out how to make lemonade out of this.

Is there something wrong?

It’s easy to drop into all the disempowering questions, like, “what am I doing wrong?” “What’s wrong with me?” “Why does life have to be so hard?”

Equally easy is what I call, compare and despair. That’s when it seems like everyone you encounter is thriving in the area(s) of life you’re being challenged in. Which brings up thoughts like, “How come they can do it/get it and I can’t?” Which usually takes us right back to “What’s wrong with me?”

Every great person I admire has had at least one dark night of the soul. But we hear their stories after they are on the other side. Eckhart Tolle and the two years he lived on a park bench before writing “The Power of Now” and became a wealthy world-famous author and spiritual leader.

Oprah and her years of poverty, abuse and so much more, before becoming a celebrated talk-show host and billionaire.

How did they navigate those years, living on a park bench, in poverty, abused?

And how do I consciously navigate and get through my dark night of the soul?

I don’t want to be a victim. I want to figure out what is here for me in this dark time.   

A dark night of the soul becomes a great part of our story, when we’re on the other side, we have evolved to the next level of our journey.

After a dark night of the soul, something better, bigger, brighter emerges.

That’s why they are “worth it.”

Why I don’t want to numb-out or runaway when one enters my life.

When my dark night of the soul hits, I endeavor to embrace it and ask empowering questions, “what is wanting to emerge in me now?” “What is the next highest expression of myself and who do I need to become in order to live it?”

When you’re swimming in fear, anxiety, despair and all you can imagine are terrible futures; the one where you run out of money, or get a bad diagnosis, lose the relationship, end up a bag lady or live on the street, it’s really hard to keep a vision of the “next-best” version of yourself and your life.

I know. I’ve been there. So,

I’m creating a life-raft.

It’s the life-raft I needed.

So, you can stop drowning in the downward spiral of anxiety and catastrophe driven thoughts.

I’ve been collecting tools and strategies for years.

I’m calling it, “From Darkness to Light.”

It’s a four-week group coaching program, for men and women.. I’m pricing it super-easy, because I know that sometimes, a dark night of the soul hits your bank account and I want you to have the tools and experience the support you’ll get when you join the program.

I want you to go. From Darkness to Light.

Email me and let me know that you’re interested. No one but me will see the email.

I’ll open registration later this week.

I love you and want you to go from darkness to light. It’s possible. You don’t have to do it alone.

Now What?

Last Thursday I asked if you knew what you wanted.

Hopefully, you shared what you want in the comments on Thursday. If not, feel free to share it here.

Now, let’s go from dreaming to scheming!

Scheming

If you have a dream that you’ve been telling yourself isn’t possible or that you don’t have enough time, enough money or any number of other stories your mind might have come up with, then you don’t spend time scheming about how it might be possible.

The enemy of possibility is dismissal.

As soon as we dismiss a dream, desire or yearning, we’ve killed it.

Like stomping on a bug, dismissal takes what’s possible and smashes it.

I’m going to ask you to be brave enough to believe in possibilities. We can’t scheme without some tiny corner of our mind thinking it’s possible.

Ready. Set. Go!

Think of your dream as a new playmate. It’s time to get to know each other. To play. To be curious. To open yourself up.

Instead of a bug that needs squashing, this is your new best friend.

What can you do for her? What would you like to do to please her? To get to know her? How can you spend time with her?

This strategy works with dreams of all sizes. Maybe you’re overwhelmed with work or kids or aging parents or any number of things and your dream is to spend a few hours alone. It may feel impossible. It may feel selfish. It isn’t.

It’s your dream because it is important. If Coco Chanel hadn’t gotten so tired of wearing uncomfortable clothes, she wouldn’t have designed pants for women. Thank goodness she was “selfish” enough to do that!

Love yourself enough to scheme about your dreams.

Let’s go back to the dream of a few hours alone. As impossible as your thoughts may tell you it is, start scheming. Get a girlfriend to help. As they say, “where there’s a will, there’s a way.” Get a babysitter. Barter with a friend to swap kids, ask for help from a friend or family member.

Love yourself enough to take what you want seriously.

For the bigger dreams like starting a business, taking a trip to a far-off land, going back to school for a degree, writing a book or becoming an actor, its’ the same process. Get to know your dream. What does she need? What would please her? What does she like to do for fun?

Break it down. Don’t worry about doing anything yet. This is all about scheming. Brainstorm with yourself and trusted friends how you might be able to take steps toward your dream.

Love yourself enough.

We need your dreams to come true, from taking a few hours for self-care to writing that book or taking that trip. We need your dreams the way we needed Coco to get sick of her corset and design beautiful pants for women!

Live Lavishly Light Episode #16

It is very powerful to ask the right questions.

From what you'll eat today to how you'll handle a financial crisis, I am here to suggest a practical way to work with it. To pose really good questions for yourself in order to have a powerful impact on your decision-making.

Whatever the conundrum is, I want to challenge you to turn your question around into one that feels inspiring and full of possibility.

Let's explore the infinite possibilities in this week's Live Lavishly Light!

xoxo Brenda

What do you want?

It’s not a trick question.

If you took off the limits.

If you had the money.

If you had the time.

If you stopped judging it as impossible.

Do you know what you want?

We often think in terms of what we DON'T want. Enough already!

I want to hear about what you want.

What inspires you? What lights you up?

It doesn't have to make sense. You don't need to know how to do it. 

What would you stay up late, or get up early to do?

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to get to the end of my life wondering if I lived it to the fullest.  I want to “suck all the marrow out of life.” I don’t want to miss anything.

I want to hear about what you want. The sky's the limit. Shock me. Wow me. Inspire me. Make me think. 

Tell me what you want in the comments below. Just writing it down might spark some magic around making it come true.

Be brave. Tell me.