It's day six of 12 Days of Enough and I definitely have something to say about this one!
Do you have an aversion to holiday photos? If you have the thought that you aren’t pretty enough, you probably avoid photos all year long, not just at the holidays!
Let’s consider this. Not pretty enough. Who decides what defines ‘pretty?’
Take some time and think about this.
Be a bit of a private investigator of your thought. Where did it come from? Did someone tell you that you aren’t pretty? If so, who was it? Was it a person you love? Or maybe no one said it to you, but you’ve learned to compare yourself to others.
Compare and despair
We always lose when we compare ourselves to others. Even Cindy Crawford does. I've read so many stories of famous women who have built their reputations and fortunes on how they look, yet, when asked, they will criticize their looks or their bodies. There is always someone skinnier or prettier or something.
Allow yourself to be liberated
If you've ever thought that you aren't pretty enough, I want you to think about why you think that. Dig deep and get all of those thoughts and write them on paper.
The act of writing thoughts and ideas on paper is magical. Sometimes I have a thought that seems very ‘true’ and very important. As I write it down in my journal, I realize how ridiculous the thought is. Nothing happened other than the act of writing it down.
Back to our exercise, you’ve written down everything you can think of that would cause this thought, I’m not pretty enough for holiday photos (or anything else you come up with.)
Alright, now you’ve got your hit list of thoughts. It's time for the liberation.
Here's the fun part: let’s put them in the mirror.
I know. You may avoid mirrors, but this time, all is well.
This is a magic mirror that will serve you and liberate you to freedom! Take your thoughts and write the opposite.
It looks like this: I am pretty enough for holiday photos. I am pretty. And other opposite statements. While you may be tempted to laugh at these statements, hang on and do this with me.
Stop for a moment and get still. Interrupt the habitual pattern of your thoughts that charge in and tell you the old story about not being pretty enough. You know them well. Let them drop away for a moment.
Let the opposite thought resonate
I am pretty. How is that true? I want you to think of three legitimate reasons why that’s true. I know you have them. 1) A lover, spouse or friend who told you that you’re pretty. 2) A time when you looked in the mirror and had even a speck of a moment where you thought you looked pretty. 3) You realize that being pretty, beauty, is more than our individual features. It’s something that shines from the inside out and you are truly pretty. Beautiful even.
Now, before the well-rehearsed rebuttals start up, stay with these reasons that your opposite thought is true. Let them take root. They seem small because they haven’t had as much time in your mind. Repeat them. Let them settle in. Let them become the new normal. There’s no better gift to give yourself than the gift of experiencing even a few moments of knowing your self-critical thoughts are not true.
Here's what I know for sure this holiday season: you are pretty enough!
Please feel free give the gift of being enough to your friends by sharing this with them! They can click here to get the series delivered directly to them.