I Hate it When I Do This!!

We all compare ourselves to others.

And, when we do, we usually come us short.

Pretty soon we're telling ourselves we aren't doing enough, aren't smart enough, don't have enough money, etc.

Today, I'll share a simple and powerful method for getting yourself out of what I call, "compare and despair.'

Inner Critic or Inner Cheerleader?

Do you wish you had an inner cheerleader instead of an inner critic?

How many times a day do you catch yourself saying something harsh to yourself?

“That was dumb.”

“I can’t believe you did that!”

“Who do you think you are?”

What if you replaced it with:

“You’re beautiful.”

“I knew you would keep going until you found the solution.”

“I love the way you ______ (cook, fold cloths, dress, treat others, etc.)”

“Your kindness and generosity are inspiring.”

I bet you would be a lot happier.

I bet you would be a lot more productive.

I bet your light would shine even brighter in the world. And goodness knows we need that!

Here’s the deal. I’m shooting straight here. It’s as simple as changing your thoughts. And yes, that can be simple and hard at the same time.

It’s hard to stop something that comes so easily. Ask yourself, “did I think about criticizing myself before I did it?” Probably not. That thought simply appeared in your mind. Boom. There it is. Like a two-year-old that wandered into the yard.

When we let a two-year-old wander in the yard, without a fence or supervision, sooner or later, she’ll wander out into the street. That’s where the real danger is.

Your mind is an inner two-year-old!

Unless you put a fence around it, unless you say, “No,” she will wander and wander until she runs into the street. 

You know what I’m talking about. Your mind can take you on a journey that spirals from “I wish I had enough money to eat out tonight,” to, “I’m going to be a bag-lady living under a bridge!” in a skinny minute. Or this one, “My kid is late coming home from dance lessons,” to, “My kid has been hit by a car and is in the hospital or (if you really want to go dark) is dead.”

We all do it. The unchecked mind takes us on all kinds of trips.

You can train your mind to go to a much nicer place. You can train it to support, love and nurture you like a perfect parent would. It can become, your inner cheerleader.

It does take work, but let me tell you, it’s worth it! The freedom and empowerment are amazing!

As a coach, I love helping people make this type of shift, from inner critic to inner cheerleader. In fact, I have a FREE training next week on that very topic! Why don’t you join me? We’re gathering at 7:30 Eastern, 4:30 Pacific on Thursday, May 31st.

I’ll be taking you through a specific process I’ve used in my own life and use with clients. You’re going to love it!

Click here to register for Turn Off Your Inner Critic and Turn On Your Inner Cheerleader.

When we live lavishly, our inner cheerleader is in charge of the motivation in our lives!  

Enough Already!

We’ve got everything we need.

Is that hard to believe sometimes?

It’s easy to get sucked into the vortex of self-criticism and self-doubt. Once we do, our minds are experts at showing us, or reminding us of, all the evidence to prove our negative self-talk is true. And, oh my, how skilled the mind is at this. It will even distort something just to prove itself right!

What do we do? How do we stop the cycle?

We have to interrupt the pattern. Interrupt the habit.

You see, I’ve come to realize negative self-talk and criticism are just habits. Like a habit of brushing your teeth. You do it without really thinking about it. You just do it.

In this case we want to stop doing it.

Try this: before going to sleep, take a moment to replay the day. Where did you succumb to the habit of self-criticism and negative self-talk? I like to have my journal handy so I can jot them down. Notice what triggered you into negativity. Notice how you behaved.

I use the word “notice” on purpose. Don’t use this replay to dive back into negative self-talk and criticism. Like a loving friend, simply notice what triggered you. It’s okay. We all get triggered.

Break the habit.

Now, revisit the exact same scenario. The same thing happens, but you don’t slip into negative self-talk and criticism. In fact, you imagine yourself feeling confident and able to handle whatever came up. From this frame of mind, replay the scenario and imagine yourself doing it differently. What would you say? What would you do? How would it feel?

You won’t be able to break the habit without imagining yourself without the habit. The person you will be when you aren’t criticizing yourself. Who will you be? Imagine it.

When you wake up the next day, take a few minutes to get the image of yourself without the negative self-talk and set an intention to bring the new you into your day. The more often you do this, the more you break the habit of the old self.

You’re simply practicing being the new you. It takes practice. You won’t do it perfectly, and that’s okay. It takes time to break a habit. Love yourself through the process.

Live Lavishly through self-love and practicing being the best version of yourself.

Feel like you aren't creative enough for all this holiday decorating and hoopla?

Day five of 12 Days of Enough. Do you feel like you aren't creative enough? 

Here's my Live Lavishly Lifestyle Advice: It’s not that you’re not creative enough, it’s that you haven’t found your inspiration.

Broaden your definition of creativity

Creativity is more than painting an original picture or writing an original poem. Creativity is knowing what you like and creating it in your life. You can buy it. That's fine. You use your creativity every time you choose something that gives you joy. 

Remember: the quickest thing to kill creativity is self-criticism

If you think you aren’t creative enough, look for your harsh self-talk. That’s probably the real issue.

I mean, think about it, who would create something if someone was hovering over them criticizing them all the way! Even Picasso wouldn’t be able take it!

Give yourself a loving pat on the head and start your creation, whatever it is.

All along the way, please tell yourself how lovely it is and what a lovely job you are doing creating it. Be the ideal, encouraging teacher we all wanted to have. Or the ideal mother who actually wore the Paper Mache bracelet you made in first grade!

You deserve to feel your creative energy. We all have it. While we’re not all Picasso, thank goodness, we all have creative energy. It gets blocked by self-criticism.

Love your creativity back to life! You are creative enough! 

Please feel free give the gift of being enough to your friends by sharing this with them! They can click here to get the series delivered directly to them.