Love

Create the Self-Love You Deserve!

Gabrielle and I were models. Along with about a dozen other fabulous women. We instantly hit it off. She’s got a magnetic personality.


Having your picture taken together in your underwear creates a special bond!


That’s how I met this week’s Cocktails and Coaching co-host, Gabrielle Garofalo. We were in a photo shoot for a book, and a movement, frankly, called, BARE. BARE was conceived by Susan Hyatt and is disrupting the diet culture. BARE teaches women how to love the bodies exactly as they are, as a strategy get to their ideal weight.

I’ve been thinking a lot about self-love lately.

It’s so hard to do yet may be the single most powerful tool we have to improve our lives.

If only we really understood the power of loving ourselves.

When I’m loving myself, I make better choices, professionally, in the food I eat, the movement by body gets, my relationships are healthier, I choose better men to date and I feel infinitely more powerful in my life. 

Gabrielle and I are excited to spend time with you Wednesday, at 5 pm Pacific/8 pm Eastern in my private FB Group, Live Lavishly: The Art of Sustainable Transformation.

It’s going to be a powerful evening. In addition to modeling with me, Gabrielle is a multi-passionate entrepreneur. She doesn't like to define herself by one role or passion rather the complicated and wonderful sum of her parts. An entrepreneur, marketing consultant, food & drink blogger, coach and mom of three she often finds herself either traveling into NYC to consult with clients or hopping on her paddle board to commune in nature while working up a sweat. You can find her on IG as Gabrielle.Garofalo and on Facebook here.

Gabrielle also teaches women the BARE(TM) process and how to channel passion to purpose at home, in career and in the mirror. I’ll have her tell us more about that on Wednesday!

We love getting questions ahead of time from you! You can ask us any question on any subject here, and join the FB Group, here, if you aren’t a member.

Can’t wait to see you Wednesday at 5 Pacific/8 Eastern for another fabulous episode of Cocktails and Coaching!

The Sick Baby that Changed Everything!

Do you have anything in your life, right now, that is bugging the hell out of you?

I do.

It might be a job that drives you nuts or sucks you dry.

Or a relationship where you don’t feel seen or heard and you feel like you want to scream half the time!

It could be your finances, you hate where you live, your car broke down…again… or any number of other things you want to be different.

If I could wave a magic wand and those things would begin to transform into something new… would you like that?

You’ve come to the right place.

I was given the wand today by one of my teacher’s, Kai Shanti. Check out her YouTube Channel and you’ll get to know her magic.

We were talking about a few of the things in my life that are bugging the hell out of me. I am totally, 100% aware that I am resisting them. And I know better. As someone famous said, “What you resist, persists.”

But, knowing you’re resisting and being able to stop it, are two different things.

Yes, I help clients get out of their own resistance all the time. That doesn’t mean I don’t need a little help getting out of mine. We don’t let surgeons operate on themselves for a reason.

At any rate, as I was lamenting my awareness that I was resisting, but also how stuck I was in it, she gave me this perfect metaphor and it changed everything. Instantly.

A sick baby.

She asked me, if I had a sick baby, would I still love it?

Of course I would! I have four kids, this is a metaphor I can totally relate to. If you don’t relate to it, that’s cool, substitute a pet of some sort, or a plant. If you love something or someone and they get sick, you still love them. Your love doesn’t diminish because they are a total pain in the neck!

Let’s face it, sick babies, pets, even plants, can be a pain in the neck. There’s the constant caring for them, which means you probably aren’t getting the rest you need. There are the Dr./Vet/Botanist visits that cost money, take time and aren’t always that helpful. Need I go on?

And, it never changes your love for him/her/it. In fact, sometimes your love deepens.

What if we applied that to ourselves?

Forget the irritating boss, co-worker, spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, your finances, your credit score, where you live, etc.

Look at you. Everything about you and your life at the moment. And just like you would do with that sick baby, love it. Love everything about it. Just love it.

When we are in love, pure love, we know that somehow, things will be okay. We’ll get through it. A solution will show itself.

Do we try to change it? Sure.

We don’t look at a sick baby and say, “you’re going to be a sick baby the rest of your life.”

Hell no!

We look for medicine, we look for people who have healed from the disease and see what we can learn, we do research, we try different things. We never give up.

And, we never stop loving the baby. Whether all the things we try work or not.

Today, I encourage you to do what I did.

Love the fucking sick baby!! Love the hell out of her.

Love is always the best way to find a solution or notice a synchronicity or get some inspired action.

Love is the opposite of resistance. You can’t resist the baby and love the baby, so without even trying, your resistance will drop away, because of the power of your love.

I’d be honored to help you figure out how to love your sick baby and move towards whatever the path to healing is.

I’ve got a few spots open for one-on-one clients. Let’s explore if it’s right for you. Book a free 15-minute Discovery Call and we’ll figure it out and go from there.

You might also like my 100 Days of Living Orgasmically video series. Yes, I’m using orgasm as a metaphor, and it’s an amazing one. Check out the entire playlist here. You can’t live orgasmically if you’re not loving your sick baby. This I know for sure.

You Deserve a "Yes!"

 

Summer is nearing its end. 

Did you do the things you wanted to? 

Or are you like most of us, looking back, thinking, “where the hell did summer go?” 

It’s the perfect time to re-group. 

To grab your “yes!” for the summer!

What do you want? What are you longing for? 

·     Sleep

·     Self-care

·     Self-love 

·     To start a project, you’ve been putting off

·     To deal with a relationship or issue that just won’t go away!

This is where I come in. 

That’s my super-power. 

Helping clients find their truth (not mine, not societies, not their spouses, or mother’s) and take action that gives them the, “Yes!” they’ve been longing for. 

What sort of “Yes!” can you expect when you work with me? Good question. 

Here are some examples.

MY CLIENTS HAVE:

  • Learned how to stop putting everyone else’s needs ahead of their own so they can finally take care of themselves and pursue their own passions

  • Stopped the cycle of shame and pursued an entrepreneurial dream

  • Activated confidence, emotionally and sexually, to begin dating, after a relationship ended badly

  • Found the blocks that led to overwhelm, and the clarity needed to change their business offerings

  • Found the confidence needed to leave a marriage that wasn’t in alignment anymore

  • Ended the pattern of getting into romantic relationships that didn’t support them

  • Released professional blocks and limiting beliefs that kept her professional performance and income limited which increased her income and status in her company

  • Gained the confidence to pursue new employment opportunities after being fired

  • Let go of past traumas to pursue the lifestyle, relationships and careers they never felt worthy of

Here’s what one of my recent clients told me after her final session: “I really do feel like a shiny new person Brenda. Thanks be to you always. You have changed my life forever.”

Now, I’d call that a “Yes!”  

Come get yours. 

I’ve got a few spots open for one-on-one clients right now. 

I’d love to talk to you and see if I can help you and if so, how. 

Say, “Yes!” to a 15-minute Discovery Call and we’ll figure it out. Click here to check out my coaching page and schedule your Discovery Call today. 

How's your anxiety?

Anxiety hits all of us at some point.  

Sometimes it’s hot, heavy and never-ending. 

Sometimes it rushes in, out of nowhere, and grabs us by the throat.

It drives us into fear. Imagining terrible outcomes.

It’s always reminding us of something awful in the past or warning us about something awful in the future.

It masquerades as “helpful.”

As if it’s going to make you extra smart or extra resourceful in order to prevent or circumvent a terrible outcome it is imagining or remembering.

Think about it though.

Is it really helpful?

Does it really help you find your most creative, best possible outcome? Does it bring you to the best version of yourself?  

No.


Our best ideas, our best problem-solving skills come out of a place of peace and love. That’s why we ask friends and family for help when we’re struggling. We know they will think of something we won’t. Because they aren’t in anxiety about the situation.

Would you like to turn down the volume on your anxiety and turn up the volume on peace and love?

Then join me for From Darkness to Light. It’s a four-week, small group, coaching program. I’m only allowing 10 people in the group. It’s for men and women. We’re going to face anxiety head-on with tools and life-hacks that will turn down that volume. You’ll move you towards the peace and love that moves you into better decisions, less stress and into a better version of yourself.

I’ve priced it at a super reasonable $99. Get all the deets here and register. It won’t be a mistake, I promise. Your anxiety might not like it, but isn’t that the point??? <3 <3

This is what chasing a dream looks like...

Once upon a time… a woman lost her job. She didn’t do anything wrong, in fact her company appreciated her gifts and talents enough to create a new position for her, but it wasn’t what she yearned for.

What she yearned for was to be an entrepreneur, who could work from anywhere, who would live near the ocean and have the financial freedom to travel. She also yearned for romance and a partner who would be her cheerleader, friend and lover.

She dared to take the leap. 

She left the convenient, six-figure job, made her side-hustle her full-time-entrepreneur-hustle, sold most of what she owned, packed up her convertible Mustang and headed West.

Today, she’s working on a balcony overlooking the ocean.

She’s making big plans with her business and attracting new clients.

She’s making new friends.

She’s living the life she yearned for.

Does she have it all? No.

She hasn’t attracted her romantic partner.

The home is a friend’s, not hers.

She hasn’t done much traveling yet.

She’s scared sometimes.  

She doubts herself and the risk she took from time-to-time.

Some sometimes she thinks she’s crazy, as a woman-of-a-certain-age, to risk it all for a business she believes in, the people she serves, the lifestyle she yearns for, romance and financial freedom on top of that!!

She is entirely toooooo much!

And I love her! She’s bold and brave. Flawed and perfect all at the same time.

She’s learning how to heal herself by loving herself, rather than thinking there is something wrong with her that needs fixing. Love. It’s simple and powerful.

And, of course, she is me. You probably guessed that about two sentences into my story.

Now, I want to ask you, is there something you are yearning for?

It may not be a whole-life-make-over like I’ve done. 

Whatever it is. I promise you, it’s waiting for you to come get it.

It’s yearning for you as much as you yearn for it.

I’ve got three spots open right now for new clients if you want a little coaching to help you get there faster and have a guide for your journey.

It’s what I do. It’s who I am.

Click here to book your 15-minute Discovery Call and we’ll talk about what you are yearning for.

Love Yourself Into Life

I had a client recently who shared a self-destructive habit with me that she was ready to let go of. She had worked on it before with other trained professionals, without much affect. She wanted to see if I could help her.

We all have self-destructive habits. We may shop too much, drink too much, hurt ourselves physically, hook-up with abusive men (o women,) deny ourselves what we need and most of us shame ourselves with brutal self-criticism.

Whichever your current form of self-abuse is, I encourage you to work with it as I coached my client to. But, know before you start, this is a tad radical.

I want you to love yourself into life.

I hear you. There’s a cynical voice in your head right now that is saying, “that won’t work!.”

You think you need discipline or “fixing.”

Let’s face it, we often feel like we’re “broken” or “not good enough.” The obvious answer is to whip ourselves into shape!

I bet you’ve tried that. My clients try it.

It doesn’t work.

It isn’t sustainable.

We can’t discipline or beat ourselves into our next break-through.

Your next break-through, the one that changes you forever, will come from love.

A deep sense of how lovable and worthy you are. Period. No matter what.

Not loving yourself because you successfully complete certain tasks, or hit your ideal weight or stop a destructive behavior.

Loving yourself because you are. You are. You are a unique spark of the Divine.

 Created to spread your special magic into the world.

My client got her big break-through.

Are you ready for yours?

 

Email me and let me know what you’re ready to break-through in your life. We can get to work on loving you back to life this week!

Top Motivator for Change

We all have things we want to change. Whether it's a new habit we want to start, or something we want to stop doing. I'm curious about how you motivate yourself to change? Are you critical, judgmental or shaming? 

In this episode of Talk About it Tuesday, I'll share why I think love and self-acceptance are the best motivators!

Watch the episode here: 

Tell me what you want to change and how you're loving yourself into your next level! 

Calling all Women Entrepreneurs!

I love women entrepreneurs!

Here’s what I want for all of us… 

Let’s be the Queen of our business.

A Queen is bold.

She’s brave.

She’s thoughtful in her endeavors.

She leads her Queendom with clarity and confidence.  

She makes decisions and trusts her judgement.

She gets advice when needed. After considering the advice, she stands in her truth and power, whether others agree or disagree, knowing that she must be true to her own inner wisdom.  

She enjoys her position, her wealth and her influence in the Queendom, without guilt or shame.

She knows she is worthy. Capable. Competent.

Is it easy? No.

Does she always know she is right? No.

Does she ever experience doubt? Of course she does. She is human and she accepts that truth as well.

She makes mistakes and forgives herself.

As the Queen she also knows she knows she has been chosen for this life. To lead. To serve.

She showers herself with love and care. She allows herself pleasure. She knows when she is happy and healthy she serves her Queendom from the highest expression of herself.

Whether she has a man beside her as king, or in her bedroom as a lover, she takes charge of her own sexual pleasure. She knows what her body wants. She can express those desires to her lover and she takes responsibility for her sexual needs and desires, alone or with her lover.

She keeps her heart and mind focused on what she wants for herself and for her Queendom, moving through her day with dignity, power and grace. Offering gratitude for everything.

She does not tolerate cruelty. She knows when to say no. And doesn’t allow others to use her power for their benefit. She knows that not everyone around her has pure intentions. She stands firm in her boundaries, never diminishing her wants, desires or values, goals. She speaks with clarity and confidence.

She never apologizes for her position, her beauty, power or her decisions.

She knows she is a work in progress and that every challenge is a lesson that causes her to become a better version of the Queen she already is.

Will you stand with me and be the Queen of your business and life?  

Join me for my upcoming Masterclass, Be the Queen of your Business, September 27th at 7 pm Eastern, 4 pm Pacific. Register here and get your crown ready!

This is the one question you need to know!

Do you sometimes ask yourself questions that don't exactly help? Questions like, "Why did I do that?" "What's wrong with me?" 

There are so many questions we ask ourselves that are disempowering, make us feel like shit and can send us into a downward spiral. 

Let's stop. 

I've got a lovely, empowering question for you to use as a replacement. 

"Is this loving to me?" 

Simple. Powerful. Gentle. 

It's incredibly helpful. Very practical. It's a question that always has your best interest at heart.

Here's how I've used it: with my to-do list. I look at my list and ask, "Are each of these things loving to me?" If the answer is yes, I do them. If it's no, then I remove them or put it off for another time. I trust that things that genuinely need to be done will get in the "it's loving to me" column in time. 

Here's the other way I use it, when I'm having a bad day. Yep, life coaches have them too, and I'm saying negative, unkind things to myself, like, "you're not doing enough!" "You aren't smart enough to figure out Facebook ads!" I stop and ask myself, "Is that loving to me?" Wow. That stops me dead in my tracks. I stop and let myself feel love for myself. Then I go back to whatever it is I'm doing, with a loving attitude. 

It's such an empowering question. Try it! Tell me how you like it! 

Do you want to be loved?

Do you want to be loved?

It's not a trick question.

We all want to be loved. It's central to our nature.

Of course, there's being loved by others and loving ourselves.

How do we love ourselves without being selfish?

How do we speak our truth when others may not like our truth?

Today I'm exploring how to live lavishly through self-love and how we do it in the relationships that matter the most.

 

Love Heals

Love Heals

This is a truth I feel so strongly about. We are divided in our nation in many ways today. We see violence and hatred every day. How do we change that? With one loving action at a time.

When we heal ourselves with love we can heal others

Using love to heal ourselves and others is what I believe in, more today than ever. Does that mean we're passive? That we don't speak out or stand up for what we believe in? No!

I invite you to join me in this important conversation. Standing in our truth, being authentic and doing it all in love.

Get videos and other cool  stuff to Live Lavishly every day right here.

Do I Have to Love Myself Before I Can Love Others?

Do I have to love myself before I can love others? I mean, really, isn't that a little selfish?

I think it's imperative that we love ourselves first. You don't have agree with me.

We'll explore the concept in the Live Lavishly Manifesto 4 video, "I know that I must love myself first in order to love others."

(If you don't have your Live Lavishly Manifesto, pick that up here.)

xoxo

Brenda