Can you relate to any of these scenarios?
You go to work every day and feel like you put on a good show. But, if anyone could see behind the mask, they’d see that you’re afraid of making a mistake or do something that will reveal your lack of expertise.
You landed a new job and feel terrified that someone is going to figure out you don’t know what you’re doing.
You’re volunteering for an organization or great cause and while you want to help, you feel like everyone but you, knows what they are doing. You just hope everyone else doesn’t see that you are in over your head!
You feel like a fake.
You think you were lucky to get where you are.
You think what you do is, “no big deal. Anyone could do it.”
You’ve had some success, praise even, yet you can’t shake the feeling that you just don’t have the confidence you imagine others having. The confidence you’d like to have.
If you can relate, you have Imposter Syndrome.
It’s incredibly common. Especially in women.
But…it’s time to kick the imposter to the curb.
Here’s the truth. You’re a badass. You know how I know?
You wouldn’t be asking yourself these questions if you weren’t.
Only Badasses look inside to see what’s fucking with them.
As a fellow Badass, I feel your pain.
I’ve suffered with Imposter Syndrome myself.
I’ve got some tips to help you shift from Imposter to Confident Queen!
1. Feelings aren’t facts. Think about a time you were sure someone was mad at you. You felt hurt, probably defensive, maybe guilty. Then, you found out the person wasn’t mad at you at all! None of those feelings you felt were “true.” The situation didn’t even exist. Yes, that’s how imposter syndrome works. You feel like a fake. You feel lucky. You feel scared someone’s going to figure it out. Here’s the thing; those feelings aren’t true. They are just feelings. Treat them like you would a wounded animal or small child. No yelling. No self-recrimination. Love. Gentle, sweet Love. She/he is scared. Love them into feeling safe.
2. Inventory your achievements and skills. It’s time to honestly assess where you’re at.Get a Badass friend to help if you need to. If you’ve worked at your job for a while, pull out a review from your supervisor and revisit how they describe your strengths and weaknesses. Here’s a super-important thing about Badasses, we know we aren’t perfect.
We can be trained and mentored into higher level skills and we’re excited about that. Improving is not a back-handed insult! Of course, you have weaknesses. Of course, there are things you could need training or mentoring with. That makes you human, not an Imposter. Notice all the compliments, praise and comments you get about your strengths. Write them down. Keep it close. That’s your ammunition the next time Imposter Syndrome shows up!
3. Practice makes perfect. This is different then, “fake it till you make it.” When we practice, we put ourselves into our future, confident self. We imagine who we would be and what we would do if we didn’t feel all those Imposter feelings. We see ourselves like our BFF does: as a fabulous Badass work in progress.
When we practice being our Badass future self, we can ask for help where we need it, because asking for help doesn’t indicate weakness or incompetence. We gladly accept compliments from supervisors and peers for our accomplishments, without minimizing or dismissing them. No more will the words, “anyone could have done it,” or “I was just lucky,” come out of our mouths.
4. Get a coach to help you. Seriously! These feelings and thoughts are woven deep into the core of who we are. Don’t expect yourself to read a blog or watch a few YouTube videos and boom! Imposter Syndrome is slayed! That’s the kind of thinking that keeps it going. You allow yourself a few “wins” but the pattern, buried deep inside, is still there, so it will rear its ugly head again.
We all have our unique triggers and patterns to the Imposter Syndrome. If it was easy to transform, everyone would do it. It takes Badassery. It takes getting the coach you need to navigate the process of transformation with you.
Because I’ve suffered with Imposter Syndrome and learned how to live from my own confident Badassery, and because I have mad coaching skills, I can help you. But, let’s get on the phone for a few minutes, just to be sure! In about 15 minutes, we’ll decide if I can help you transform from Imposter to Confident Queen! (Or King! Imposter Syndrome is NOT a gender issue! It can hit any of us!) Book your 15 Minute Discovery Call right here. I can’t wait to talk.