I had the rug totally ripped out from under me last week.
I was angry. Disappointed. I felt deflated and defeated.
What did I do?
I doubled down on my self-love and self-care. Exactly what I coach client’s to do.
I’m not a very good coach if I can’t practice what I preach.
When the going gets tough, it’s not time to push harder, or dive into self-criticism and judgment, although we will be tempted.
If you’re an eternal optimist, like me, you will also be tempted to make yourself look on the bright-side or focus on the “silver lining,” bypassing the “negative” emotions that you’re feeling.
We might even get feedback from friends and family that is smacks of judgement, silver linings or being “strong.”
But here’s what you really need, it’s exactly what I needed and did.
Self-love and self-care.
Simple. But, not familiar to most of us.
You might be wondering what self-love and self-care look like. So often we think of going to get our nails done or taking ourselves out to dinner. That might be it, but it may not.
To me, the secret to self-love and self-care is that it’s a gift from you, to you. You don’t need anyone else. It’s not dependent on a spouse, lover, friend, or frankly a good manicurist or bartender. If it is dependent on someone else, it could get fu*$ed-up by that someone else.
Don’t leave your self-love and self-care in the hands of someone else! If you think of it, that’s not even what it’s called. It’s not “other-love” or “other-care.”
It’s about the self. You. You as the answer. You as the gift. Because, you are.
You might:
Quit work early
Take a nice bath or shower
Using a favorite soap, bubble bath or lotion and really taking the time to notice how it smells and feels on your body
Masterbation is fantastic for healing, loving and grounding the body
Reading a fun book
Cooking yourself a lovely meal (if you love to cook this can be very loving)
Take a walk/run or even sit in nature
Meditate
Light some candles
Listen to music
Take a nap
Go to bed early (sleep is incredibly healing)
You’ll notice, these don’t require another person or money.
You have everything you need to heal and rejuvenate yourself. Sure, it might take a combination of things, you might not bounce-back in an hour or even a day, but these will all nurture your mind, body and spirit. They will bring you back to wholeness, enoughness, and belief in your own resilience and confidence.
What’s your favorite self-love/self-care activity? I’d love to hear what you do?