What Your Inner-Child Wants You to Know

You have an inner-child who would love to tell you a thing or two! 

We all have an inner-child who wants our love and attention. 

Your inner-child is taking over the controls of your life in more ways than you probably know. They are crying, throwing temper tantrums and hiding in the corner - and that causes you to react in situations differently than you would if you knew your inner-child had just taken over. 

The easiest way to access your inner-child and find out what they need and what they are feeling is to write to them. Even if you aren’t a “writer” or don’t have a journaling practice, you can do this. 

Create a relaxing and safe space for yourself. Give yourself about 30 minutes if possible, more time might be even better, but it’s fine to start small. Even 5 or 10 minutes will do. If you have a picture of yourself as a little kid to look at, that can help. 

Next, start a conversation with your inner-child. Ask them what they want or need? What they like and don’t like.What they think is fun and even what scares them. Start to create a relationship with your inner-child just like you would any other child. 

Which means you don’t rush them. You're nice. Welcoming. You’re not pressing them for answers or being impatient. You’re saying, I love you. I’m here. I want to get to know you.

Then you wait. 

You wait to hear what that inner-child has to say. And you listen. You don’t judge, dismiss or minimize what that inner-child says to you. You listen with compassion and love! 

Are you ready? 

I would love to hear about what you discover. And if it’s not something you want to do by yourself, let me know. I do inner-child work all the time with clients. I can help. 

Book a FREE 15 minute Connection Call and we’ll explore what you need and if I’m the right coach to help you get there. You don’t have to do it alone. Book your call HERE.

What do you think is under there?

What’s hiding under your hood? 

I love the metaphor of looking under the hood! It’s a great way to describe what I do as a coach. 

A client tells me what they are experiencing that makes them uncomfortable, anxious, angry or stressed. The way you tell your mechanic that you hear a funny noise in your car. 

Then we look under the hood to see what’s actually going on. 

If all we focused on was the “funny noise” I might have you turn your music up, or wear ear plugs when you drive so you don’t hear it. 

That’s ridiculous! At least we know it is when we’re dealing with our car. 

But we do that sort of thing all the time with “funny noises” in our lives. Instead of getting the mechanic (me, in this case) to look under the hood and figure out what’s really going on so we can address the real issue, we binge Netfilx or have another glass of wine, or decide if we were more disciplined we’d be fine. 

Nope. That’s not it. That’s why those things don’t work in the long-run. Sure, like turning up the music, it might drown out the funny noise for a while, but… nothing is happening to address the issue. 

Believe me, once we find the issue and start to heal it, the “funny noise” will go away or we’ll make a minor adjustment to stop it. But without healing the cause, nothing we do will last. 

That’s why I love what I do! Clients come to me with their “funny noise” and we look under the hood, heal the cause and get them humming down the road without any funny noises! 

I created a free worksheet to take you through one of the processes I use to look under the hood with clients. You can download it HERE. 

The worksheet is simple and powerful! 

If you have any questions or you're interested in exploring working with me, book a 15-Minute Connection Call. Your timing is perfect. I have a couple of openings right now, so don’t wait. That “funny noise” isn’t going to go away by itself. 😄

Did you know this was possible?

I’ve got a luxury retreat starting on Thursday this week so I’m prepping, planning, buying flower and getting swag bags together. 

My intention is for each woman to have her own personal moment of transformation! 

Are you ready for YOUR transformation? 

Never underestimate the ripple effect of a transformation. 

I’ve had transformations in my love life that rippled into a transformation professionally. 

A transformation in how you parent, might create a transformation in your relationship with your BFF. 

Because we are whole beings. 

We often think of ourselves in terms of roles and different compartments we engage with. 

But we are whole beings. Whole.

That means crisis in one area of life ripples into others, and so does healing and transformation. 

If you’re ready for the ripple effect of healing and transformation in your life, book a 15 Minute Connection Call with me right HERE and let’s explore how coaching can change your life!

What if Love Really Heals Every Wound?

I had the honor and joy of marrying my son and his fiance this weekend. (Photos on IG soon!)

I thought about love a lot. 

My journey of love. 

Romantic love. 

Self-love. 

The love of family. 

The love of friends. 

I’ve experienced so much healing in my life because of love. 

While others were at times a part of that and I healed through their love…

The truth is, it has been the journey of loving myself that my deepest healing has occurred. 

That’s why I love coaching so much. 

You could say, what I do is coach clients into healing themselves by loving themselves. 

Do you want it? Do you want that deeply healing experience of loving yourself into life? 

For just two more days, June 30, I’m offering a crazy affordable “Love Heals” coaching package. Three, one-hour sessions for $300! Consider it my love offering to you and your journey. 

Whatever needs healing. Whatever you want. It is possible for you… through the power of love. 

Get your Love Heals package HERE. 

What to do when the rug gets ripped out from under you

I had the rug totally ripped out from under me last week. 

I was angry. Disappointed. I felt deflated and defeated.

What did I do?

I doubled down on my self-love and self-care. Exactly what I coach client’s to do. 

I’m not a very good coach if I can’t practice what I preach. 

When the going gets tough, it’s not time to push harder, or dive into self-criticism and judgment, although we will be tempted.  

If you’re an eternal optimist, like me, you will also be tempted to make yourself look on the bright-side or focus on the “silver lining,” bypassing the “negative” emotions that you’re feeling.

We might even get feedback from friends and family that is smacks of judgement, silver linings or being “strong.”

But here’s what you really need, it’s exactly what I needed and did. 

Self-love and self-care. 

Simple. But, not familiar to most of us.  

You might be wondering what self-love and self-care look like. So often we think of going to get our nails done or taking ourselves out to dinner. That might be it, but it may not. 

To me, the secret to self-love and self-care is that it’s a gift from you, to you. You don’t need anyone else. It’s not dependent on a spouse, lover, friend, or frankly a good manicurist or bartender. If it is dependent on someone else, it could get fu*$ed-up by that someone else. 

Don’t leave your self-love and self-care in the hands of someone else! If you think of it, that’s not even what it’s called. It’s not “other-love” or “other-care.” 

It’s about the self. You. You as the answer. You as the gift. Because, you are.

You might: 

• Quit work early

• Take a nice bath or shower

• Using a favorite soap, bubble bath or lotion and really taking the time to notice how it smells and feels on your body

• Masterbation is fantastic for healing, loving and grounding the body

• Reading a fun book

• Cooking yourself a lovely meal (if you love to cook this can be very loving)

• Take a walk/run or even sit in nature

• Meditate

• Light some candles

• Listen to music

• Take a nap

• Go to bed early (sleep is incredibly healing)

You’ll notice, these don’t require another person or money. 

You have everything you need to heal and rejuvenate yourself. Sure, it might take a combination of things, you might not bounce-back in an hour or even a day, but these will all nurture your mind, body and spirit. They will bring you back to wholeness, enoughness, and belief in your own resilience and confidence. 

What’s your favorite self-love/self-care activity? I’d love to hear what you do?

Tired of Discipline and Hard Work?

What if you could ditch self-discipline?

What if, buckling down and muscling through isn’t the way?

What if brow-beating yourself isn’t really working?

I know. It’s what we’ve been taught.

“Pull yourself up by your boot-straps.”

“When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”

If we’ve learned anything in 2020, it’s that what used to work, doesn’t work anymore.

We need a new way.

I’ve got the answer. It’s a question actually. A powerful one.

I ask my clients this question when they are exhausted.  

I ask clients when they get stuck with:

·      Ending the cycle of being a “People Pleaser”

·      The business they want to start – or grow.

·      The job they want to leave.

·      The body they want to “improve.”

·      Starting a new relationship that they want to be different than the last one.

“What would love do?”

It seems silly. Like it won’t work.

But let me ask you this? When you have a child or pet who you are teaching a new skill to, or wanting them to do something in a new way, how do you do it? (As the ideal parent or pet-owner that you are most of the time.) J

You lovingly lead them. You show them the way. You speak in a loving voice. You cheer them on for the tiniest accomplishment or improvement. You applaud! You give them treats. You brag about them to friends and family.

You don’t yell at them. Tell them losing three pounds is not nearly enough! That they aren’t trying hard enough. They need to put their head down and work harder! Stop complaining! Then throw in a bunch of punishments and penalties every time they fall after their first few steps or pick a cookie instead of broccoli. You would never do that to your child or pet, or anyone else you love.

But we do it to ourselves, all the time.   

“What would love do?”

We have this idea that the answer will lead to over-indulging, staying on the couch instead of going to work, never getting any exercise, always choosing the cookie over broccoli.

But would it?

The question in NOT, “what would your inner-rebellious teenager do?”

Love wants the best for you. Love says, yes, to things that are loving. Love can say no.

Love wants you to have the life of your dreams.

Love wants you to leave the job or relationship that is not serving you anymore.

Choosing love isn’t always the easiest path.

It’s just the only path that is sustainable.

My calendar is opening for four one-on-one clients right now – one is for you. If you want to learn how to turn self-criticism and self-discipline into self-love, let’s work together. The first step is a free 15-Minute Discovery Call to be sure now is the right time. You’ve got nothing to lose and a lot of love to gain. Book your call here.

This Changed Me!

Yes, I did it. Last week. 

If you didn't catch it, here's the scariest blog I've ever written, Religious Wounds.

Sure, a few people unsubscribed from my email list. That's cool. 

The most amazing part was getting so much feedback from so many of you.

Seems I'm not the only one with a religious wound. 

I should have known, but I was blown away by the stories that were shared on social media and to me personally through emails and private messages. 

So many of us have felt the condemnation, judgment, punishment and, that terrible message that we are flawed (sinners,) from birth. 

We experienced the loneliness of separation and the concept that God is outside of us and we are striving to get to him. That we need to escape an eternity in Hell, a very scary place, and get an eternity in Heaven instead. And, by the way, there's one "right" way to do that and everyone who thinks differently, is wrong. 

It changed me. 

Knowing we are not alone, forget that, it's not knowing. It’s experiencing that we are not alone, that is a powerful catalyst for transformation. 

People asked me if I would start a group or in some way provide a space to heal these religious wounds and let go of all the baggage that those wounds created. My creative juices started to flow.

It's time for Soul Liberation! 

Part of what's so challenging about religious wounds is that they go deep. 

Straight to the Soul. 

It's time to go deep and clear them out. Love them out. Heal them out. Forgive them out. 

In a community that understands. Where we all know what it's like. Our stories are different, but the effects are very similar. 

Soul Liberation is going to be a six-week program with six, digital/video/audio sessions.  Each one will have a worksheet and other supportive material for that week's theme. I’ll address condemnation, judgement, fear of punishment, feeling flawed, separation, Heaven and Hell as internal states (not places to go,) our Oneness with the Divine and how love really does heal all wounds. 

You will experience the sweet release of concepts and judgments you have outgrown and that don't serve you anymore.

We'll have two group coaching sessions, a private Facebook Group to share our stories and our healing process with each other, PLUS, two one-on-one, private coaching sessions with me to facilitate specific, deep healing.  

My goal is to balance giving you really fantastic, life-changing sessions, along with community, and coaching, without you having to put a bunch of things on your calendar in the next few months. In this format there will be only two dates that we'll all put on our calendar; the group coaching calls on November 19, and December 17, at 5 pm Pacific/8 pm Eastern. Calls will be recorded so you won’t “miss” anything. 

The rest of the program you can take at your own pace, in your own time and the FB Group will be there for you 24/7. 

I'm going to begin on November 11, 2019. It's seems so appropriate to me to end this decade with a liberation of all the religious baggage we have and start 2020 with a Liberated Soul! 

I'm going to offer all of this for only $295. Because I want you to say, "Yes!"  more than I want you to sharpen your pencil and work on your budget! The one-on-one coaching sessions alone would cost $300. 

The rest of the details will be released next week, but I wanted you to be able to grab your spot. I'll send you an invoice, you can pay with a credit or debit card, if you want two payments, I'll break it into two payments of $150. 

Email me, Brenda@BrendaFlorida.com and let me hear your, "Yes!" to your Soul Liberation! There’s no better way to end one decade and begin a new one!

Religious Wounds

This is the scariest blog I've ever written.

But I can't "preach" being authentic and not be willing to go out on a limb. So, at the risk of being judged, and in the hopes of facilitating healing, here goes.

I grew up in very conservative, you could probably call them, fundamentalist, Christian churches. Of course, my family believed the same, that's why we went to those churches. 

I grew up believing in "original sin." The doctrine that we are born sinners and need to be saved or spend eternity in hell. Hell being a very specific destination with eternal burning and gnashing of teeth. Not a very pleasant place to be for eternity, which is a hell of a long time. 

Of course, there was a way out. Only one way. Salvation through Jesus. (Who wouldn't pick that? Considering the alternative!)

From the very beginning of my life, I felt flawed and defective. After all, I was doomed. Born a sinner. Not just me, everyone. Everyone was doomed. Unless they chose Jesus as their savior. Otherwise, eternity in Hell. There were no other belief systems that were "right," everyone who believed anything different was going to hell.

If you believe what I was taught and it serves you and makes you happy, that's great. This post is not for you. And, PLEASE do NOT tell me why I should to return to those beliefs. And if knowing I don't believe that anymore makes you want to stop reading my stuff, following me on FB, etc. that’s fine. I wish you love and light. 

In my case, these beliefs did a lot of harm to my soul and psyche. While I have been healing from those wounds for years, I've recently had an enormous break-through that released the condemnation I have held deep in my body and soul. It might be the single most liberating healing I've had in my journey. 

I am very curious if there is anyone who can relate to my story and has the same type of wounds from a religion or other cultural structure? 

I'm seriously thinking about starting a group coaching program specifically for people who want to heal their "religion" wounds. 

We all deserve to know we are loved, exactly as we are and that we are worthy, from the moment we are born. That's what is eternal.

I'd love to know your story, if you have your own religious wounds. Please email me or private message me on Facebook and tell me as much or as little as you'd like. You will not be judged. You will not be shamed. I promise.