I’ve done it.
You’ve probably done it.
It…. People Pleasing.
What does People Pleasing look and sound like?
Lots of, “I’m sorry.”
Even for the smallest thing, like having someone bump into you - and saying, “I’m sorry.” For a People Pleaser it’s like we feel compelled to apologize for taking up space. For being human.
Lots of Exhaustion.
Yes, it’s exhausting trying to do for others all the time. Your family, kids, boss or business. Don’t get me wrong, they are all noble causes, but for a People Pleaser it never ends.
When it depletes you and leaves you overwhelmed and exhausted, there’s a problem.
Lots of Trouble Saying, “No.”
Oh. Yeah. That.
Sure, a pandemic and unrest in our communities is exhausting. People Pleasing exhausted is special. It comes from a lack of boundaries. The lack of a clear, “No.” It doesn’t mean you don’t care or don’t agree. It simply means the answer is, “No.” At least not right now.
Two powerful ways to respond to your People Pleaser. Turn it Inside-Out
1. Take responsibility – which is very different than, “I’m sorry.”
We all make mistakes and slip up. But everything doesn’t need an apology.
And we can stop apologizing for what other people do to us!
I know it’s a habit. But, let’s break it.
Take responsibility. “I missed my deadline. I’ll plan my time better in the future.”
“I burned dinner. I am so frustrated with myself for getting distracted! Do you want to order take-out?”
“I missed your birthday! I’m disappointed about that! Tell me everything you did to celebrate! I can’t wait to hear. And, by the way, you are such a gift in my life. Let me tell you how….”
When we connect to our loving inner-authority, who isn’t seeking the approval of others and thinks we are a one-of-a-kind, brilliant being (and she does, trust me! Your loving inner-authority loves you unconditionally and sees all the brilliance you have inside you!) we can take responsibility without judgment or shame.
2. Get some rest. Which will probably require say, “No” to something or someone.
Being exhausted is no joke.
It lowers your immune system.
It raises your anxiety.
It’s brutal to your body.
What’s one thing you can say no to that will allow you to take a few minutes to rest?
It doesn’t have to be monumental. Small rest periods add up.
Your loving inner authority is waiting for you.
Like a perfect mother or BFF, your loving inner authority wants you to have what you need. She is your super-power. She will never give up.
Turn People Pleasing inside-out by becoming empowered from the inside out!
It’s all inside you. You have everything you need.
If you need a little help finding or believing that, let me know in the comments below, or email me here. I’d love to hear from you!