Live Lavishly Light Episode #28

Are you tired? Stressed? Tired of putting off what's important to you? 

Today's Live Lavishly Light Episode is for you! Learn how the stress hormone, cortisol, is literally killing us, while the happiness and pleasure hormone, serotonin, will bring you health, productivity and creativity. 

Make pleasure a priority! I've got a new program, Pleasure Power, coming. You can find out more about it here.  

How an ass selfie changed my life

Have you ever taken an ass selfie? It’s not easy. Thankfully, I had a teacher. The incomparable and unapologetically authentic Lux Atl (pole dancer, PhD, feminist) has one on YouTube. You can check it out here. Don’t try an ass selfie without it!

One weekend last winter I had my girlfriends over, for what we call, Goddess Weekend, and I suggested we try to do ass selfies. It was great fun. Trust me, even with the tutorial, it takes some effort!

That photo has been sitting in my phone for six months.

Why does any of this matter? 

I was sexually abused as a little girl. I’ve had a very difficult history with my body. I’ve hated it, cut myself off from it, scorned it, criticized it and even been ashamed of it.

It’s quite liberating to go from body-shame and disconnect, to loving and appreciating my body enough to take a photo of my backside.

But that wasn’t enough. (I’m me after all.)

Recently, in my private FB Group, Live Lavishly: Turning up Your Power From the Boardroom To the Bedroom, (if you are a woman and are interested in joining us, click here, answer the two questions, and we’ll get you approved to join) I posted that ass selfie. Two actually.

Most of the women were supportive, inspired even, that I was comfortable enough with my body to do it. For what it’s worth, I have on underwear in the selfie, so it’s really no different than if you saw my backside at the pool in a two-piece bathing suit. Not exactly pornography. Not particularly daring, really. Maybe a little sexy.

A few women did not like it at all! They left the group because of it. I’m fine with that. I don’t need anyone to approve of my ass selfie. And if all of this bothers you and you want to unsubscribe or unfriend me on FB, please do so. It’s okay. Here’s why…

I want to be the author of my life. I want to be unapologetically authentic. Might I offend someone? Yes. Might I inspire someone? Yes. As far as my body goes, is it perfect? No. Do I look like a Victoria’s Secret model? Definitely not. Is my body beautiful? Yes. And that’s not just my opinion.

Here’s what happened last week.

I got tagged in a FB post for an open casting call for models to appear in a soon-to-be-published book called BARE. The author, Susan Hyatt, has been my coach, teacher, mentor and source of inspiration. I also have a girl-crush on the photographer for this photo shoot, Chelsea Sanders of Blueline. I figured, what the hell, I’ve posted an ass selfie in my FB Group, why not apply for this casting call. I had to submit five photos, at least one had to be in a bra and panties, because that’s what we’ll wear in the photo shoot. I applied.

I was chosen! I am one of 11 women selected to be featured in the book, BARE. I’ll be driving 11 hours to get to Indiana on Wednesday, then be “on set” from 9 – 5 Thursday, then drive 11 hours home on Friday. I can’t wait!

My life has changed.

When we love our bodies, take pleasure in our bodies, express ourselves through our bodies, in ways that feel good to us, when we write our own life story, when we chose to live unapologetically authentically, we are changed.

You don’t have to take an ass selfie. You do you. That’s the point. I have no interest in everyone being like me. I posted an ass selfie to inspire the women in my group to love their body. To not be afraid of their body. To not be ashamed of their body. That’s what felt right for me.

What will you do today to be unapologetically authentic?

Brenda

P.S. If you’re interested in working with me one-on-one, email me and we’ll schedule a quick, 10-minute call to see if working together is going to be transformational and magical for you. 🙂

 

 

Tired of working so hard?

Don’t you wish you could transform your life with pleasure instead of hard work?

You can.

I’ve learned how.

I’ve coached others to know how.

It can work for you.

It’s coming…

The Pleasure Power Program is on its way!

I’ve been creating a program to teach you the tools and skills you need so that you can use intentional pleasure to transform your life.

Intentional pleasure will change your life.

At work, in relationships, and especially that most important relationship - the one with yourself and your body. You can love your body. Right now. You can enjoy sex. Right now. It’s all possible.

And we’re going to do it through pleasure instead of hard work and pushing ourselves to do more.

Stay tuned…you’re going to hear a lot about this very soon!!

Live Lavishly Light Episode #27

Do you wish your health was better, or had more time to create and enjoy your life? 

Today I've got a fun, easy answer for how to be healthier, more productive and more creative! 

Check out the video right now! There's a special 5 Day Facebook Challenge I've started that will get you taking action and adding pleasure to your life. Yes, it's pleasure that improves your health, productivity and creativity. 

Not sure it works? Join us in the Pleasure Power 5 Day Challenge

Would it help if you were 30% more productive?

Being measurably more productive would allow for so many things.

More time to create.

More time to play.

More time to spend with family and friends.

More time to take care of your body.

More time to contribute to causes you care about.

How do we increase our productivity by over 30%?

Get happy. Or as I like to think about it, get more pleasure in your life.

There are studies by the Harvard Business Review showing that happy people are 31% more productive. If they are in sales, like my real estate friends and coaches listening, sales increase by 37% and people are three times more creative. All because they are happy.

Happiness includes a lot of things, but I know for sure it includes having pleasure in your life! And not just once in a while!

What if, instead of “pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps” when things are difficult, we stopped and evaluated where we could add more pleasure into our lives?

I don’t know about you, but it certainly sounds more fun.

The statistics indicate it’s a lot more effective.

Let’s try it!

Join me for the Pleasure Power 5 Day Facebook Challenge. It starts tomorrow, Monday, July 16 and runs through Friday. It’s easy. You register here. Monday morning, and each day through Friday, you’ll get an email from me with a short audio recording. That recording will inspire you and give you a pleasure challenge for the day. You’ll decide what you want to do and post about it in the Facebook group. Easy. Fun. One could even call it, pleasurable! On Friday, I draw one lucky winner, who has posted each day, to win a specially commissioned bracelet by jewelry designer, Nilla Webber.

Find out how much more productive and creative you can be in just five days!

Get all the information and register now. The pleasure begins tomorrow!

The Connection Between Health and Pleasure

Did you know that cortisol, a hormone your brain triggers when you are stressed, makes it five times more likely that you’ll die from a heart attack? Tell me, how much of your day is filled with stress?

We all know that stress isn’t good for us.

How do we change it? Is there really a way out?

There is.

I’ve experienced it. I’ve coached people through it.

Where do you begin?

Pleasure.

Yes, it’s that simple. Or, hard. We don’t often give ourselves permission to have pleasure in our lives. Especially not when life is stressful.

I’ve got a challenge for you.

I call it, The Pleasure Power 5 Day Facebook Challenge.

Join me for five days. Just five. Each day I’ll send you a short audio with a challenge for bringing a little pleasure into your life that day. You’ll decide what you want to do, then post something about it in a private Facebook group where a bunch of other awesome people are doing the same.

It will be fun and easy. You can even use it to reduce stress.

Get the information and register here. We start on Monday, July 16 and we’ll finish on Friday, July 20. There’s even a great prize (a commissioned piece of jewelry) for someone who posts in the FB Group each of the five days.

What have you got to lose….a deadly heart attack? I think it’s worth giving pleasure a shot!

When will we quit forgetting...

we have all the answers inside of us? 

Do you believe that? 

Is there somewhere inside of you where you KNOW you have everything you need? You are enough. You have all the things you need to live the life you desire. To live the highest expression of yourself. Where, just like that little acorn that has everything it needs to become a giant oak tree, you have everything you need to become everything you imagine? 

It's so easy to forget. 

It happens to me too. I think I need someone or something outside of me to open the door. The allow me to do what I want to do. To make me feel like I'm good enough or talented enough or creative enough to live the life of my dreams. 

Sometimes I even want someone to made me believe it's possible. To help me be brave. To give me the confidence. That's when I really know I've forgotten...that I have all the answers inside of me. 

Sure, it's nice to have people to support you and encourage you. But, when we NEED that. When we feel like we can't do what we want to do and feel driven to do, without their support and encouragement, we've lost track of our own power. We've given it to someone else. 

Take your power back. 

You're the one! 

Helping people remember that they are the answer to their question is my greatest joy as a coach. Helping them KNOW that they have the courage, the creativity, the boldness, bravery and that, without question, they are enough! That they are smart enough, creative enough, brave enough, young enough, old enough, good enough and above all, WORTHY of the live they crave. 

Join me and a group of amazing people on the journey to stop forgetting the answer to that question, to know that they are Enough Already in my online program, Enough Already. 

It's time. It's for you. You're the one. 

Get all the details and register here. Do it before Weds., July 11 and you'll get two amazing bonuses of group coaching and one-on-one coaching with me! 

See you there. 

What if getting lost is a good thing?

I think we all feel lost at times. 

We lose ourselves in our kids, spouses, jobs and in the responsibility of caring for others. 

Sometimes we get lost in life transitions. We move, have a baby, the baby goes to school, the baby grows up and leaves home, we get divorced or widowed, we lose a job or a friend.

All of life's transitions create opportunities to lose ourselves. We get so wrapped up in other people, their needs, their wants, the tasks at hand to pack up our belongings or adjust to a new job and a new city, and in the process, you stop thinking about yourself. 

Then one day you wake up and realize, little by little, piece by piece, you've given yourself away and you're not sure why or how it happened. 

If you're in that place now, please know, you are not alone. We've all done it. And you can take yourself back. Find yourself again. One piece at a time. 

Here's the real shocker.

I think it's good when we lose ourselves. 

Seriously??

Yes. I think it means it's time to rebuild. To reexamine your perspective of who you are and what you want. 

Losing yourself is actually an opening. It's a chance to reevaluate what you want in your life. It's like your psyche is helping you wipe the slate clean.  

If you happen to be in that place now, where you feel lost, where you've forgotten what you like and what excites you, then stop for a moment and be grateful for the journey. Tell yourself that this feeling lost is a gift. It's allowing you to look at everything you do and every relationship in your life and ask a very important question, "Is this loving to me?" Then you pause and wait for the answer. 

The answers don't always come immediately. 

Give yourself time and space. Don't press or push for the answers. Be open to whatever comes. 

When the answer comes, don't argue with it. Be open to possibility. Be open to a new way. That's why life brings us to these places. To give us a chance to find a new way. Maybe the answer is, "I need more help with the kids (or aging parent or disabled spouse.)" Don't dismiss it and tell yourself you can't afford it. Take that answer seriously. 

Explore possibilities. Rearrange your budget. Find help through community services or local churches. Barter something you enjoy doing for child-care or housecleaning or whatever it is you need. You'd be surprised how well bartering for services works. 

Be willing to give up something you didn't think you could give up. I don't mean give up taking care of yourself, I mean, give up volunteering at school or church. Or, give up a community organization you're involved in. If it doesn't pass the test of, "is this loving to me?" then it needs to go. Maybe it doesn't go forever, but it needs to go for now. 

Life leads us towards life. 

It is part of our nature to be driven towards life. To grow, not shrink. To live, not die. To flourish, not stagnate. When we feel lost, when we see ourselves shrinking and stagnate, it's a sign. A sign we need to examine our lives and move towards what is loving to us. One tiny step at a time. Move towards love. 

Live Lavishly Light Episode #25

Today I want you all to think about how easy it is to slip into that cultural norm of women being the givers and men being the provider.

The brilliant Chimamanda Adichie gave her friend parenting advice for raising a daughter, writing: "Teach her that to love is not only to give, but also to take." 

So let's talk about gender inequality in this Live Lavishly Light episode!

No failure. Is that possible?

I don’t know about you, but I can be pretty hard on myself.

At least I used to be.

It is a habit I’m definitely breaking.

Will you join me?

There's no such thing as failure.

Think back to some of your most valuable lessons. They probably involved a failure. I know mine do.

Here are a few of mine.

I ended my first marriage. This was my high school sweetheart. We had four kids together. I had always been taught that divorce was wrong. There were plenty of people, at the time, who also told me I was wrong to leave. It definitely felt like a failure!

It was also the catalyst to my learning who I was and what I wanted in my life. I had always lived my life based on what other people wanted and needed. In fact, most of the time I didn’t know what I wanted or needed, I was so lost in everyone else’s needs and wants. Leaving my marriage was the beginning of an opening. It’s an opening I’m still exploring. Discovering and expressing the very best version of myself.

I had a terrible failure professionally once. It involved the classic blunder of sending an email to the wrong people with the wrong content. I won’t go into all the gory details, but it cost me my job. I was suddenly looking for a new job. That led me to a job that expanded my skills tremendously. The leadership training and coaching I do in my business today is a direct result of what I learned in that job.

Now let’s combine relationships and jobs. I failed at both at the same time. I was single and unemployed. But, this time, I’m a little wiser… and older… but I wasn’t going to let my age get to me. I followed my heart. I didn’t start applying for jobs because it didn’t feel peaceful, it felt full of anxiety and stress. So… I spent most of my savings. OK. All of my savings. But, I kept believing that I would get what I needed by the time I needed it. I believed my lesson in that transition was to trust myself and my inner wisdom/inner Divine to lead me to my ideal job.

She did. I got inspired to contact someone I had worked for previously about a project we had discussed but put on hold. This inspiration came to me “out of the blue.” I’ve learned to trust that sort of inspiration at this point in my life. They hired me to do the project and offered me a fantastic job on top of the project! Suddenly I went from spending that last of my savings to a 6-figure salary.

None of these apparent-failures were failures. They liberated me from something in my life that really wasn’t working anymore into my next highest level of growth. How can that possibly be a failure?

If you knew-- I mean absolutely knew-- that there is no failure, what would you do?

Tell me!

I know for me this new attitude gives me boldness and confidence as I grow my business. It gives me confidence in relationships and as I look forward to the next year. I’m working on a new program that I’m incredibly passionate about, and I’m creating a new niche in my coaching practice that’s going to knock your socks off!

Why would I do that? Why not play it safe? Because there is no failure! I’m going for it!  

Are You Worth It?

I think you are.

You're worth knowing you matter.

You're worth knowing you are enough.

You're worth knowing you are loved.

You're worth living in abundance

You're worth knowing the Universe is conspiring to support you.

I’ll be home from my retreat in two days.

I’m wondering, do you ever struggle with questioning your worth?  

I’ve got some great coaching magic that will transform that feeling of not being worthy.

I put it all in my digital program, Enough Already. I’m finishing up my retreat in Cancun, but you can still register and get going on Module One. I’ll be hosting a coaching call on Thursday, June 28, so you’ll want register before then. Enough Already has four modules and is chock-full of transformational tools to turn that unworthiness into personal power.

The kind of personal power that asks for a raise, leaves a hurtful relationship, starts a business, begins a creative project and changes the world. You can get all the deets here.

I’ll be back tomorrow and I can’t wait to see you!

xoxo, Brenda

PS--

1. I’d love for you to join me in my private FB Group, Live Lavishly: Turn up your power, from the boardroom to the bedroom. It’s a great place to hang out with like-minded women. Sorry guys, this is a “women’s club.” We’re open and honest. We share our victories and support each other when we’re freaking out! Get the support you need. Click here to join the group.

2. Curious about working with me one-on-one? I love working 1:1 with people because we can dig deep and it’s all about you. I’ve got room right now for five new clients. Here’s how easy it is: click here and schedule a 10 minute call. During that call, we’ll see if I’m the right coach for you. I can’t wait to talk to you!

Is it Possible to Thrive in Transition?

Yes!

Unequivocally, Yes!

I am the Queen of transition! I’ve left relationships, jobs, changed careers entirely, moved…oh boy, have I moved. I probably should have bought my own moving company, at least then I could make money on it! I’ve raised my kids, emptied my nest and become a grandmother.

I feel like I have enough experience to assure you that it is possible to thrive during transition.

I love coaching people through their transitions, in careers or any other area of life. Don’t struggle alone.

When I get back from my retreat next week, (read about that here if you missed it), I’m going to have some time open on my calendar because I’ve transitioned out of my full-time job into full-time coaching, which, has been my favorite transition of all! If you want to explore working with me one-on-one, click here to schedule a 10 min call and we’ll discuss if and how I can help you.

I can’t wait to work with you!

xoxo,  Brenda

 

PS, I’d love for you to join me in my private FB Group, Live Lavishly: Turn up your power, from the boardroom to the bedroom. It’s a great place to hang out with like-minded women. Sorry guys, this is a “women’s club.” We’re open and honest. We share our victories and support each other when we’re freaking out! Get the support you need. Click here to join the group.

The Men in Your Life

I hope you’re celebrating the wonderful men in your life today.

I’m headed to Cancun to spend a week with a man.

A man, his team and about 675 other people!

As you read this I’m on my way to Cancun for a retreat with Dr. Joe Dispenza. I love his work and I’m thrilled to have the opportunity to attend a week-long retreat with him. Dr. Joe is a neuroscientist, among other things, and has done brilliant work in the arena of brain science. If you are as interested in these things as this mind-set coach is, I’d start with his book, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself. It rocked my world!

I’m taking this time to take a break from life. From my normal routine.

To focus all my energy and attention on my own growth and creating my future. Dr. Joe’s work includes a lot of guided meditation, so I know we’ll be doing a lot of that. I understand we meet for meditation, at least occasionally at 4:00 am! My obsession with becoming the best version of myself I can possibly be, is the only thing that will get me up for 4 am meditation!

So, I’m going off the grid. No cell phone. No social media. No photos on FB of the white sandy beaches of Cancun. At least, not until I’m back home! Then you’ll get bombarded.

I encourage you to find small ways to “retreat” in your life. It makes all the difference. Take five minutes. Take an hour. A day. A week, when you can! Focus on your breath. Settle into your body. Focus on the moment. Not the ones from earlier today, or the moments that will come later. Be in the now. That’s where all magic is found.

Now. We don’t often spend a lot of time there. I’m going to take a week with an intention of being in the moment. Of creating the next chapter of my life, from the infinite possibilities of now.

I am “off, off and away” and know that I will return refreshed, inspired, transformed and ready to share it all with you!! Until next week….Bon Voyage!

xoxo Brenda

 

PS--

1. I’d love for you to join me in my private FB Group, Live Lavishly: Turn up your power, from the boardroom to the bedroom. It’s a great place to hang out with like-minded women. Sorry guys, this is a “women’s club.” We’re open and honest. We share our victories and support each other when we’re freaking out! Get the support you need. Click here to join the group.

2. Curious about working with me one-on-one? I love working 1:1 with people because we can dig deep and it’s all about you. I’ve got room right now for five new clients. Here’s how easy it is: click here and schedule a 10 minute call. During that call, we’ll see if I’m the right coach for you. I can’t wait to talk to you!

This irritates the crap out of me!

Inspiration without action.

What good is it?

Who cares if you’re inspired if it doesn’t change you.

The truth.  

It takes more.

Inspiration + Mindset + Action.

Your mindset will sabotage every great inspiration and action you can put together. Do I need to remind you of January and the three times you went to the gym…You know I’m telling the truth here!

Stop the cycle.  


I figured out how and put it into a lovely digital program called Enough Already. It’s as easy and clicking here to register.

I’ll reward you generously when you do!

Right now, when you register before midnight, Thursday, June 14th, you’ll also get two 30-minute coaching sessions with me and four group coaching sessions with your fellow bad asses in Enough Already. That’s a $1,250 value for free, because you decided to take action now instead of waiting. It doesn’t get any better than that!

Don’t be inspired.

Don’t just take some action.

Liberate yourself to lasting change with a transformed mindset.

Check it all out and register before June 14th! Because you are Enough Already!