I believe we all deserve pleasure

I didn’t experience much physical pleasure in my 20’s and early 30’s.

I had been sexually abused as a kid and couldn’t figure out how to enjoy sex in my marriage or with myself. I was seriously cut-off from my body and from physical pleasure.

Changing that was one of the biggest changes I’ve made in my life. I literally liberated myself to a new perspective on sex and sensuality. I got a lot of help from a therapist and tons of self-help books, but it worked. I awakened the sexual energy that had been squashed down into nothingness.

If I can do it, you can. <3

I created a YouTube playlist for this very purpose.

Qs for the Sex Queen is a safe place where you can ask questions and hear the answer to yours and other’s questions. I’ve just released the first episode and I’m really excited about the questions that were submitted and look forward to feedback and more questions for the next episode.

If you want to ask a question, use my confidential, anonymous form at www.brendaflorida.com/questions-queen

Watch the first episode below:

Talk about it Tuesday - Confusion to Clarity

Think about something in your life that confuses you.

This could be something related to your career, family, relationships, etc…

In today’s Talk About it Tuesday, I talk about how to find clarify in confusing situations in life. This is a technique that I use with my clients who are struggling to understand the next step the want to take.

The Price of Freedom 😥

Today is Veterans Day. My nephew served in the Army. Survived tours in Afghanistan and Iraq. We were lucky, he came home. Not all of his friends did.

Today we owe it to every Veteran to celebrate and be grateful for the freedom they bought for us.

What will you do with your freedom?

Freedom means we don’t have to live in the toxic relationships – at work or home.

Freedom means we don’t have to stay in careers that suck us dry.

Freedom means we don’t have to put our dreams and desires on the back burner for some time in the future when it is ‘convenient.’

Freedom means we can grow and thrive during the transitions of moving, loss and the inevitable changes in life.

Freedom means today is day one. The first day. The day where everything can change.

Freedom means we have the power to change our lives.

Freedom means we owe it to the Veterans who fought for our freedom to live the best life possible. The life you crave. The life you yearn for.

Don’t let freedom be a concept that you agree with.

Let freedom be your siren call!

Today is the last day to register for the biggest freedom call of all, Live Lavishly. We spend nine weeks together expanding the freedom in our lives. We cover everything! Relationships, careers, pleasure, how our thoughts, feelings, yearnings and actions can serve us or sabotage us, and how to make sure they’re all lined up for to create a life with abundant freedom. Get all the info here. Do it. Sign up.

Create the freedom that is yours for the taking.



Rock the Holidays and 2019 🎄

Do you plan on surviving the holidays or rocking them?

I’ve got just the thing. Better than a Hot Toddy even.

Be The Queen of your holidays with Live Lavishly. It’s a program I create to support women like you on their journey to the life they yearn for.

Yearnings. Ah, the very things that can seem so far away at the holidays.

Well, don’t give up Queen. Even if your crown got a little crooked, we’ll straighten that baby right up!

Live Lavishly includes nine sessions where you’ll get the tools you need to create the life you yearn for. Plus, there’s five group coaching calls and a private Facebook group where you can ask questions, get support and find additional resources for the program.

If that sounds too good to be true, or like this must be something that will cost a ton of money… it’s NOT and it doesn’t!

If you’re a woman who is ready for change. If you’re willing to show up, (honey, you can even show up in your PJs!) learn the tools and put them to work, then Live Lavishly is for you!

Get the details here.

If you have any questions, let me know in the comments below. (for the website)

Don’t let the holidays zap your cheer. You deserve to Live Lavishly!



Are you a woman in transition? 💃

Are you changing your relationship status? Changing your career? In an empty nest? Moving?

Join me for my new Masterclass, Five Secrets to going from Confusion to Clarity so you can Level Up and be The Queen of Your Life!

You’ll learn the five things that are essential to becoming a Ladyboss and Queen, even if you’re in the middle of big change in your life. Especially if you’re in a time of big change in your life!

This Masterclass is for any women who wants their current transition to be a wake-up call to change. Having to move, suddenly becoming a single mom, or getting laid off, can seem devastating. But change can be a launch-pad to the life you always wanted. Let's use this opportunity to create what you want and stop settling. This class will give you the tools you need to be the Queen of your life!

When: Wednesday November 7, 2018 at 7:00 pm Eastern/4:00 pm Pacific

The Masterclass will be recorded. Be there live to get your questions answered and interact with the class.

Register here.

We’re gonna rock this! Get your crown ready!



Where will you be in 90 days? 🏖️

As we head into the holiday season, I wonder, where will you be in 90 days?

By the end of January, besides surviving the holidays, where will your life be? What will you be doing? How will your dreams be manifesting? How will life be better than it is today?

What if… it’s the same

  • You’re still tired

  • You’re stressed by a relationship

  • You’re still in the soul-sucking job

  • You aren’t having fun

Don't let that happen.

The biggest, badass truth in the universe is that we are all so much more powerful than we believe we are!

We all have tremendous ability to transform our lives

If you are ready for change, change that sticks - I call it sustainable transformation - I’ve got exactly what you need! 

Live Lavishly. In 90 days, you’ll transform your life!

A bold and true statement. Live Lavishly is an online program where a group of badass women will gather to create sustainable transformation in every area of their lives. These women will NOT be the same in 90 days!

We are going to generate so much love, joy, abundance and freedom it's going to change everything! Here's how:

  • One session every week on a topic that will benefit every area of your life, from your career, to your relationships, to your body and sex life.

  • Four group coaching calls throughout the nine weeks of the program.

  • A private, intimate FB Group for more questions, coaching and support

  • VIQ package. That's "Very Important Queen". When you select VIQ, you get everything in Live Lavishly, PLUS, one-on-one coaching, unlimited email access to me, during the program and... a super Queenly gift box that will arrive before the first session. I'm just saying, that's the what I'd pick!

Of course, everything is recorded, in case you can't make it live and so you to return to a session if you need extra support in that topic.

Check out all the details for Live Lavishly here. You'll see, I've left no stone unturned. We're tackling everything that is important in your life: body, sex, career, finances and relationships. Registration closes soon, so hop on over and register! I hope to see you as a VIQ!

In three months, if you want joy, love, abundance and freedom, instead of the status quo join me and a powerful group of badass women, in Live Lavishly!



PS. If you have any questions about Live Lavishly, hit reply and ask me. :)

Like a Boss

We’re all bosses. At least we need to be.

We need to be the boss of our lives!

For many years, I was not the boss of my life

I was so concerned with what my husband, family, friends and church wanted me to do, and who they wanted me to be, that I lost all sense of who I was. A marriage counselor asked me what my favorite color was, and I looked at my husband! Girl! I was lost!

Waking up

It takes effort and coaching to wake up, but let me tell you, it’s worth it!

Wherever you are today, you can be the boss of your life.

Maybe you’re doing a pretty good job and you just need a bit of fine-tuning.

Maybe you’re completely lost, like I was.

Maybe you’re somewhere in between.

It’s time to experience the joy of living Like a Boss!

I’m hosting a Free Masterclass on Wednesday, November 7, 7 pm Eastern/4 pm Pacific. The Five Secrets to go from Confusion to Clarity so you can Level Up and Become the Queen of your Life!

I’ll show you how to be the boss of your life and make changes that you can stick with, plus, we’ll have a lot of fun in the process, because that’s how a Queen lives! Register now.

The Masterclass will be recorded, but you’ll get the most out of it by being with us live.

Put it on your calendar now!

(You may notice I changed the date. It didn’t feel right to hold the class on Election Day, so I moved it to Wednesday. Please use your Queenly power and vote on Tuesday. I’ll see you in the Masterclass on Wednesday.)



Queen of Transitions

Yep, I'm the... Queen of Transitions

I’ve moved 13 times since I got married at the ripe old age of 18 years old!

I’ve left two marriages and one partner. It’s a hard thing, even when you know you need to do it. Each time, I was following the truth of who I am. It was liberating, empowering, scary and bold.

I have four children who are adults now, so you name it, I’ve done it. Four kids in seven years, that’s transition on steroids. One by one, I sent them to school, cried at their graduations, had an empty nest, married them off and had grandchildren.

I’ve had two successful business, that I sold.

I had a career in real estate.

Now, I have a coaching practice that I love!

Transition is a wake-up call to transformation

When transition knocks on our door, it’s our chance to look at life through a new lens.  

It’s time to decide:

No more…

  • Toxic relationships

  • Putting other’s needs above my own

  • Being underpaid and undervalued for my talents

  • Holding back my truth

Join me for my next Masterclass, Five Secrets to going from Confusion to Clarity so you can Level Up and be The Queen of Your Life and I’ll show you how.

I’ll give you the tools you need to Rock your transition and wear that Crown with authenticity. Check out all the details and sign up here.



Talk about it Tuesday! Episode 3 - What do you Yearn for?

This week on, “Talk About it Tuesday!” we unlock what it is you truly yearn for.

There are a lot of things that we yearn for. A lot of these things are carried with us over several years. For some of us, they’ve been there since our childhood.

Today, I’ll be talking about how to unlock these yearnings and how to use them to create change in our lives.

The Question You’ve Always Wanted to Ask

What’s yours?

We all have things we want to ask, to get advice or information on, but we hate the idea of looking foolish!

I used to have a lot of questions about sex. I grew up very sexually ignorant, including being ignorant about how my body worked.

I know I’m not alone. Whether you have a question about your own body, or how to please someone else, wouldn’t it be great if there was a safe place to go for the answers?

I’ve created it for you.

I lovingly call it, Q’s for the Sex Queen.

I’ve created a lovely, private form on my website. You can see it here.  All you do is click on the “Ask Now” box and ask me whatever you want.

Twice a month, I’ll record a video episode of Q’s for the Sex Queen and post it on YouTube. You’ll hear my answer, coaching really, on the video.

Let’s talk about my answers. I’ll be providing information and coaching based on what I know, what I’ve experienced and how I helped clients. I’ve had quite a journey sexually, you can hear more about that in this video, and I’ll share many more stories as I answer your questions.

You don’t have to limit your questions to sex and relationships though. I find that all things in life are connected so feel free to throw anything at me from career, to kids, to having fun, reducing anxiety or travel tips and idea! It’s all on the table for the Queen.

Rest assured, Q’s for the Sex Queen is a judgment-free zone where your question will be handled with the respect and dignity it deserves.

Take a moment right now and ask me your question. I can’t wait to hear it and talk about it on the next episode of, Q’s for the Sex Queen!

Sorry. Not Sorry

I think being sexy, at least for a woman, has gotten a bad rap.

I love being sexy and I’m not apologizing for it! Sorry. Not Sorry.

There’s a stigma that some men will behave badly when a woman behaves or dresses sexy. And that somehow, that is the woman’s fault. What can she expect after all? Men will be men. They are stimulated visually. It’s not their fault.

Ummm, really? I am very stimulated visually. So, following this logic; if I see a man who stimulates me sexually; would I touch him, maybe graze over his crotch, as if by accident, so I can cop a feel? Would I stare or tell him how I’d love to see him out of that suit and in my bed? Or better yet, serve back a line that I’ve heard before, “You know what would look good on you? Me!” Ummm, no. I don’t think so.

YUCK! Can we have a collective yuck on that!

Acting and dressing sexy, taking a sexy selfie, showing some cleavage or wearing a great pair of sexy heels, doesn’t mean you are inviting others to make sexual advances.

When I’m expressing myself in a way that some would describe as sexy, or when I commissioned a pinup painting, as I did lately, I’m not doing it to get attention from a man. I’m doing it because I like expressing myself that way. And I’m proud to have the confidence to do so. Just like I also enjoy expressing myself in a formal gown with heels or yoga pants with flip flops. I do it for me. Because they are all part of who I am.

How I dress isn’t an open invitation.

I'm also not apologizing for how I dress or act. I refuse to be sorry that, sometimes, I act and dress in a manner that could be described as sexy.  

I don’t dress, nor behave, for others. I dress for myself. I act in ways that are congruent with my authentic self. My sexy self!

Some people like it. Some people don’t. That’s fine.

And, please, let’s stop with the insinuations and statements I often hear about how “She deserved it. Look how she’s dressed.” Or a classic, “She was flirting with him. Of course, he got aroused. What did she expect?”

I’ll tell you what she expected. To be treated as an equal. To be treated with respect. To be treated with dignity. She expects that a man is always, and I mean always, responsible for how he behaves and what he says. Even under the ‘duress’ of a sexy woman! If you can’t control yourself, stay away!

That means, even if she’s flirting, you don’t touch without asking. You dance the dance of flirtation with respect and dignity which means you check in to be sure she’s enjoying it as much as you are.

Women, it means you stay tuned into your own body and senses and you always give yourself permission to say, “no.” You give yourself permission to walk away. I don’t care if you “started it.” Walk the fuck away. It’s your right. Make a scene if you need to!

It’s time to stop blaming women for their sexiness.  

What will you do to express your sexy side this week? Does that intimidate you? Does it excite you? I’d love to hear how you feel about letting your sexy-side come out to play and how you do that.

If you need them, here are a few suggestions:

  • Sexy lingerie is a great way to turn-on your sexy.

  • Wear Red lipstick. I mean, really red. Marilyn Monroe Red. It’s always sexy

  • Wear a mini-skirt or item of clothing that shows a little more skin than you’re used to

  • Listen to sultry, sexy music

  • Light some candles, run the bathwater, turn on the music and give yourself some pleasure…you know what I mean!

Talk about it Tuesday! Episode 2 - Emotional Transformation

This week on, “Talk About it Tuesday!” we discuss how changing the way you feel can transform your life.

In Episode 2, I discuss the importance of creating change that’s sustainable. So many of us focus on the instant gratification of short-term goals that we don’t consider how it effects us in the long run.

I’ll be talking about the four key elements that I use with my clients, to change our lives through our emotions.

I can’t…

What do you tell yourself you can’t do?

You can’t:

  • Lose weight

  • Get into shape

  • Surf (that was mine, more about that later)

  • Handle money responsibly

  • Get a better job

  • Start a business

  • Ask for a raise

  • Tell your spouse to stop doing what you don’t like

  • Ask for what you want in bed

  • Set a boundary with a friend

  • Stop taking care of others, even when you’re drained because they need you

  • Afford to take a vacation

I don’t care what it is. We tell ourselves all the time, that we can’t.

I’m sick of it!

I hate to rant… sort of, but this one kills me.

Either we can do it, or we don’t want to.

Because if we really want to, we’ll find a way. Otherwise, let’s be honest and say, “I don’t want to.”

It’s okay not to want to. You can, not-want-to put in the effort to get a better job, ask for a raise or start a business. Or, maybe you don’t really want to lose weight, get into shape or surf. While we live in a culture that values money, prestige, being thin and physically fit, you can buck the system and say, nope. That isn’t me. I don’t want to.

Cool. I can get behind that!

Here’s what I can’t get behind.

You have a thought that tells you, you aren’t good enough to do one of those things you want to do. Or a thought that tells you that you’re too old, too young, too fat, too thin, too out of shape, that your husband won’t listen, or your friend won’t respect your boundary, or you haven’t made enough money to go on vacation!

Those are the thoughts I cannot abide.

Those thoughts are not true.

I’ve told myself for the last couple of years that I can’t learn to surf. I’m too old, too out of shape, it’s too late for me. Then I met Alex. She’s a genius when it comes to the body and what’s possible. I told her I really wanted to surf, but couldn’t, because I was too old and out of shape and she said, “that’s not true! I can help you get into shape to surf. I’ll show you what to do and you do it. In six weeks, you’ll have confidence in your ability to surf.” *Note, that doesn’t mean I’ll be ready to surf, but I’ll know I can get there. Alex is honest as well as motivating!

I’m not saying I can’t surf anymore.  I am saying that I can get into shape so that I can.

As far as losing weight goes, that’s clear, I don’t want to.

It’s incredibly liberating to be honest with ourselves.

What do you need to be honest with yourself about?

If you really don’t want to do it, even if it’s not popular, just be honest and say, you don’t want to. You’ll feel how freaking liberating that is!

If you want to do something and you don’t know how to get there, like me with surfing, then stop saying you can’t, and find someone who can help you! That’s why we need fitness trainers, coaches and all other types of teachers and mentors. They help us get where we want to be when can’t seem to get ourselves there.

Just do it, as Nike says. Hire the coach, hire the fitness trainer, book the vacation, lose the weight, whatever it is that you want…you CAN do it!

I’d love to chat with you about whether or not I can help you in the coaching department. It’s super easy, schedule a 10-minute call with this link, and we’ll figure it out. Easy, peasy.


Talk about it Tuesday!

I’m starting new video series titled, “Talk About it Tuesday!”

Each week I’ll discuss tools and methods for creating sustainable transformation in our work, relationships and lifestyle.

In Episode 1, I’m unpacking how to create sustainable change. It's easy to talk about needing to change. We all have areas of our lives where we want change. But, how do we really do it?

Today's video will show you the steps I use, in my life and with my clients, to begin the process of evolution. The process of sustainable change.

Are you in the middle of a transition?

You could say, I'm the... Queen of Transitions 

I’ve moved 13 times since I got married at the ripe old age of 18 years old!

I’ve left two marriages and one partner. It’s a hard thing, even when you know you need to do it. Each time, I was following the truth of who I am. It’s liberating, empowering, scary and bold.

I have four children who are adult now, so you name it, I’ve done it. Had four kids in seven years, that’s transition on steroids. One by one, sent them to school, cried at their graduations, had an empty nest, married them off and had grandchildren.

I’ve had two successful business, that I sold. I built a career in real estate as a manager, broker, owner and leadership development expert. I’ve spoken at events, trained people and created my own programs to enhance the leadership skills of others. And, now, I have a coaching practice that I love! Of all the things I’ve done in my life, coaching is my favorite and the perfect combination of my skills.


To open to the next highest expression of ourselves. We can accept that challenge or reject it and continue in our old ways, repeating the thoughts, feelings and actions that got us there.

When we choose to accept the challenge, to wake-up, to reshape our vision of what is possible, we open ourselves up for joy, power and freedom. We are perfectly poised for sustainable transformation.


To create sustainable transformation in our lives we must include all four of, what I call, the Crown Jewels. Think of them as jewels in a crown. Each one equally as important to the majesty and brilliance of the crown. A crown you’ll want to wear!

Yearnings - these are the things, people, projects and passions we have that allow us to be the best version of ourselves possible. Your yearnings are your personal seeds of greatness! 

Thoughts - we all have thoughts that diminish us, criticize and shame us. Others have said them to us and now we say them to ourselves. It’s time to learn how to transform those stressful thoughts to thoughts that liberate and free you.

Feelings - the thoughts we have trigger our feelings. Sometimes our feelings will trigger a thought. They become a vicious cycle of thinking and feeling that limit and harm us. Anxiety, depression and fear keep us trapped in a life that is limited. When we learn to create empowering and positive feeling states, regardless of our circumstances we free ourselves from what we were trapped by. 

Actions - the things we do or don’t do. When our thoughts and feelings are limited and steeling our power, we don’t act in ways that support our highest good. When we align our thoughts, feelings and actions, with what we yearn for, everything comes together. We are focused. We take inspired, intentional action towards our yearnings. 

Everything I do is designed to empower you to get those four jewels in your crown! That’s what I yearn for!

What do you yearn for that I can help you get in alignment with? Let's schedule a 10 minute Discovery Call, I have openings next week, and we'll see if I can help you get to the life you yearn for! Schedule it here

How one change can impact your business and life

It’s easy to think that one change won’t really make a big difference.

If you're in any type of transition; starting a new business, getting divorced, dating, starting a new relationship, moving, you've had a baby, lost a loved one, or hit a milestone birthday, all these things usher in a time that is ripe for transformation. Sustainable transformation. Not the 'flash in the pan' kind, the real, change-your-life-forever-in-a-glorious way kind.

What if one change made a huge difference?

Today I invite you to hear from one of my clients, Alex. She’ll tell you how making a change made a HUGE difference in her life and business. Alex is in the time of great expansion in her business and found she wasn't getting the results she wanted from all the effort she was putting into her business.

I don’t want to spoil it by telling you about it.

Click on the video below and hear directly from Alex how she changed her biz and life!

Then decide today that you’re not willing to let whatever is limiting you, hold you back. Today is the day to say, it stops now. I’ve got a group of powerful women who are all saying, it stops now, by taking Live Lavishly. It’s an online program that will teach you how to make sustainable change in every area of your life. Register now, we start on Tuesday! Don’t worry about making all the sessions live. Listen to the recording in your PJs or on the treadmill. Just join us. Stop the thoughts, feelings and patterns that have kept you from sustainable change, now. Now is the perfect moment.