Inner Critic or Inner Cheerleader?

Do you wish you had an inner cheerleader instead of an inner critic?

How many times a day do you catch yourself saying something harsh to yourself?

“That was dumb.”

“I can’t believe you did that!”

“Who do you think you are?”

What if you replaced it with:

“You’re beautiful.”

“I knew you would keep going until you found the solution.”

“I love the way you ______ (cook, fold cloths, dress, treat others, etc.)”

“Your kindness and generosity are inspiring.”

I bet you would be a lot happier.

I bet you would be a lot more productive.

I bet your light would shine even brighter in the world. And goodness knows we need that!

Here’s the deal. I’m shooting straight here. It’s as simple as changing your thoughts. And yes, that can be simple and hard at the same time.

It’s hard to stop something that comes so easily. Ask yourself, “did I think about criticizing myself before I did it?” Probably not. That thought simply appeared in your mind. Boom. There it is. Like a two-year-old that wandered into the yard.

When we let a two-year-old wander in the yard, without a fence or supervision, sooner or later, she’ll wander out into the street. That’s where the real danger is.

Your mind is an inner two-year-old!

Unless you put a fence around it, unless you say, “No,” she will wander and wander until she runs into the street. 

You know what I’m talking about. Your mind can take you on a journey that spirals from “I wish I had enough money to eat out tonight,” to, “I’m going to be a bag-lady living under a bridge!” in a skinny minute. Or this one, “My kid is late coming home from dance lessons,” to, “My kid has been hit by a car and is in the hospital or (if you really want to go dark) is dead.”

We all do it. The unchecked mind takes us on all kinds of trips.

You can train your mind to go to a much nicer place. You can train it to support, love and nurture you like a perfect parent would. It can become, your inner cheerleader.

It does take work, but let me tell you, it’s worth it! The freedom and empowerment are amazing!

As a coach, I love helping people make this type of shift, from inner critic to inner cheerleader. In fact, I have a FREE training next week on that very topic! Why don’t you join me? We’re gathering at 7:30 Eastern, 4:30 Pacific on Thursday, May 31st.

I’ll be taking you through a specific process I’ve used in my own life and use with clients. You’re going to love it!

Click here to register for Turn Off Your Inner Critic and Turn On Your Inner Cheerleader.

When we live lavishly, our inner cheerleader is in charge of the motivation in our lives!  

Who “runs the show” in your life?

Is it your kids, your spouse, your cranky boss, the economy, your friends or an organization you belong to?

Here’s the deal, if you feel like they are "running the show." 

They are zapping your power.

You need to "run the show" of your life.

That’s where the power is.

And I don’t mean power-over. Yuk. No one wants that.

I’m talking legit, earned, deserved, personal power. The power that is yours to use or set aside and let someone else ‘run the show.’

Personal power is kind.

Personal power has clarity.

Personal power asks for what it needs and wants.

If you sometimes struggle with accessing your personal power, it’s time for an upgrade!

I’ve got just the thing.

Join me tomorrow evening. That’s Monday, May 21, at 7:30 pm Eastern/4:30 pm Pacific for a free webinar, Upgrade Your Earning Power. We’re going to talk about the thoughts we have that prevent us from accessing our personal power. More importantly, I’m going to give you some awesome coaching tools to slay those thoughts.

You’ll leave the webinar empowered to:

·         Ask for a raise

·         Volunteer for the high-profile project

·         For entrepreneurs, you’ll have the confidence to raise your price or expand your business

·         Ask for what you need in any area of your life.

It may seem too good to be true, but it’s not. If you’ll spend an hour with me, in a quiet place without distractions, I’ll show you exactly what I did to coach myself through some serious professional hurdles (think jobless and almost penniless, I’ll tell you all about it on the webinar), and I’ve used the same strategy in every area of my life.

These tools will help you amplify your personal power and that makes figuring out the next step really easy.

You can signup for the webinar here.

I can’t wait to see how your life will change when you Upgrade Your Earning Power!  

“You’re not in charge of me!”

That’s what my three-year-old granddaughter loudly declared to her older brother last weekend.

I had to laugh.

And, it got me thinking…

Every time we feel like someone, or something, outside of us is “in charge” of what’s going on in our lives, we’re wrong.

Blunt and true.

We’re wrong.

When things go wrong it’s so easy to tag another person and think, “If they had done something differently, I wouldn’t be in this mess!”

Here’s the problem. You can’t do a damn thing about another person. The only person we have any control over is ourselves.

My granddaughter is right. The only one in charge of you, is you.

I get it though. People do impact us. We can get thrown off course by someone else.

What do we do?

We work with our own thoughts about that, and what the problem is. For example, you may own your business and feel like you can’t raise your prices because you’ll lose clients. (It’s the client’s fault.)

You may have a job you hate, but you’re afraid it will be too hard to find another one. (It’s the economy’s fault.)

You may want to ask for a raise, or promotion or volunteer for a high-profile project, but your boss doesn’t like you. (It’s the boss's fault.)

Or maybe you simply don’t have the confidence to go after what you want in life. Again…thoughts are creating the lack of confidence.

Here’s where I come in.

Let’s slay those thoughts. Let’s get your confidence amped-up and ask for the raise, quit the job, raise your prices and anything else that’s important to you!

How? I’ll show you.

Join me Monday, May 21, 7:30 pm Eastern/4:30 pm Pacific for a free webinar, “Upgrade Your Earning Power.” I’ll show you how I slayed my thoughts that my problems were because of my ex, or the economy, or simply that “I’m not good enough.”  I took my power back and totally changed my life.

I use the same coaching tools I used on myself with clients, in group settings, like my digital program, Enough Already, and in 1:1 coaching. I’ll teach you how to do it on the webinar, Upgrade Your Earning Power.

All the details and the registration are here.

Join me and get ready to Upgrade Your Earning Power!

To be a mother...or not to be....

This blog is for everyone who’s NOT a mom and for those who are.

I love you both! It’s so refreshing to see the cultural “norm” of motherhood being questioned and abandoned. If you don’t have an intense, and I mean, intense, desire to have kids, please don’t. And never, never apologize for it! A woman isn’t “better” because she wants to be a mother. Sometimes I think we slip into temporary insanity, otherwise, why would we want to do it?! #kiddingnotkidding


Being a mother is my greatest joy and at times, my greatest challenge. I have four children in their 30’s. They live in CA, PA and Equatorial Guinea, Africa, which is why there aren’t some adorable family photos in this blog. My son in Africa has been away for five years now. Holy smokes do I miss hugging that kids and being able to even talk on the phone! (I did get my daughter and grandaughter to join me for a photo shoot in Manhattan Beach, CA recently though, so I've included one of those photos)

Here’s what I know for sure

Watching your adult kids create the lives they love is the greatest thrill. My youngest in Africa is creating video games and loves it, he also teaches English as a second language. Next up is a mother, fitness instructor, wife extraordinaire and helps me with a lot of my ‘behind the scenes’ work. Then there’s another son, he’s in tech, just took a new job with a start-up in SoCal, loves his wife and dog and recently said to me, “we make conscious decisions to make our journey through life fun and interesting. It’s okay if we misstep.” As my oldest daughter said when I shared that with her, “Your work is done with that one!” Then there’s the oldest. Wise and strong. Brave and true. She’s a fabulous wife, mother of two, and has a gift for kindness that astounds me.  

Whether you’re celebrating your children, or the fact that you don’t have any, please celebrate the gift that you are as a woman to the world. I am a big believer that women will change the world in this next generation and you are part of that. Regardless of age, you are the change the world needs!

I had a couple of openings for one-on-clients. If you're interested in exploring the benefits of working with me, complete this easy application and we'll schedule a quick call to decide if one-on-one coaching is right for you! 

The Power of Connection

You know how it is, the difference between going somewhere with a group of friends and being one-on-one with your BFF? It’s different. Group gatherings are awesome and I wouldn’t skip them, but sometimes I need me some 1:1 with my bestie!

The same is true for coaching.

I had the most powerful experience last week. I work with a business coach in group settings. I’ve taken digital programs she’s offered, been to her webinars, I’ve been in two live events with her.

Then…last week I had my first 1:1 with her. Wow! It was stunning how much I got out of it when it was just us talking about my specific business and it’s needs instead of me listening to her teach concepts and strategy. It was worth every penny to upgrade to a 1:1 relationship with her.

Now it's Your Turn.

Where do you want transformation; a life upgrade so-t-speak, enough to work 1:1 with me?

Don't get me wrong, I love people who take my online program, Enough Already. We have a private FB group so I engage with them there, coach them and help them free themselves from the limiting thoughts that rob them of their power. If that sounds like something you can use, check it out here

I love people who read my blogs (thank you) and watch my YouTube videos, who sign up for my webinars and take advantage of other free offerings. In fact, I have a webinar coming up on Monday called, Upgrade Your Earning Power. Click here for more details and to sign up. 

Here’s what I know for sure: The people who work with me 1:1 get dramatic results. Here’s what a couple of them have said:

"Brenda helped me dig deep to find MY truth and MY voice, which were lost for a very long time!  Working with her was eye opening, so many "ah-ha" moments.  It was amazing to see how patterns in my life kept repeating." Claire.

“…I was dealing with tough decisions in my life and had an overall feeling I was not being true to myself.  Brenda put me at ease. I knew I had found someone to assist me with finding my vision and help me live from my higher-self...” Ron.

Keep participating in all the good free stuff, and heads-up, there’s a lot more coming. And take my digital program, Enough Already, and heads-up, there are more group offerings coming as well…

BUT, don’t miss the opportunity to work with me 1:1. 

I recently had a few spots for 1:1 coaching open-up in my schedule. Is one of them for you? I’ll even sweeten the pot by giving you $100 discount on either the three-session package or the six-session package.  You’ll use the coupon code, Power, when you check out, but first, APPLY HERE. We’ll handle the payment after our initial call.

I can't wait to hear from you! 

Live Lavishly Light Episode #22

I'm so happy spring has finally arrived! 

It's a great reminder that there are things in your life ready to sprout and bloom! 

What do you have bubbling up that want to grow or expand? 

Are you nurturing it? 

In today's Live Lavishly Light episode, we'll look for those things that need to grow and expand in our lives. I'll share a couple of mine with you. I'd love to hear about yours in the comments below. 



I'm going to have five spots open up for one-on-one coaching soon. I haven't been able to offer much one-on-one coaching because of other commitments, so I'm excited my calendar is opening up.

One-on-one coaching is the most powerful way to explore what wants to "come alive" in your life. We'll create a safe space to expand and discover what's ahead for you. To see what it's like to work with me privately, hop on over to my coaching page, scroll to the bottom and you'll see my scheduler. Select "30 Min Intro Call" and book your time. There's no charge - no obligation, it's a great opportunity to see if we will work well together.

I can't wait to hear from you!  

What's stopping you?

...from your dream job? 

...from making more money in your business? 

...from quitting a soul-sucking job? 

...from making as much money as you want to make? 

What ever it is, I promise you we can take it on and generate transformation in your life. 

I'm going to have five spots open up for one-on-one coaching soon. I haven't been able to offer much one-on-one coaching because of other commitments, so I'm excited my calendar is opening up.

One-on-one coaching is the most powerful way to remove anything that is stopping you. A bold claim, but it's true! I'll be with you every step of the way. To explore working with me privately, hop on over to my coaching page, scroll to the bottom and you'll see my scheduler. Select "30 Min Intro Call" and book your time. There's no charge - no obligation, it's a great opportunity to see if we will work well together.

I can't wait to hear from you!  


It's Time to Say "Yes!"

There are times in our lives where we just need to say, "Yes!"

Even if we're scared shitless.

Saying 'yes' often means we have to say 'no' to something. 

In order to make room for something to come into our lives, we have to risk leaving something else. 

Throughout my life, there have been many turning points where I could say 'yes' to a door opening or keep that door closed. Sometimes life took care of closing a door and I had to decide if I was going to have the courage to open another one. 

I remember when I was in my 30's and I was getting divorced. I had four young children. I wanted to be able stay in our home, so I needed to refinance it to get my ex off the deed. I had a job I loved, but I didn't make enough money to support my family, now that I was the bread-winner. I didn't want to leave my job, but I had to make more. A lot more. 

I had a high level of trust with my boss, so I went to him with my dilemma. I told him I didn't want to quit working for him, but I had to make more. He was pretty wealthy and very connected in our community. In my mind, I was hoping he could help me get a part-time job with someone that I could do from home or something. 

Instead, he suggestion I talk to the owners of the company and pitch myself as our first full-time office manager. He said the only way he would lose me is if he could work for me! 

Bam! Door opened! 

Was I scared? Hell yes! Managing the office was my 'dream job,' but I really didn't think I was "good enough" to have that job. With his confidence, and my practical need to support my family, I went for it. I walked through that door and it changed my life! 

Let me ask you.

Do you have a door you need to close and another one that needs to be opened? 

I'm going to have five spots open up for one-on-one coaching soon. I haven't been able to offer much one-on-one, because of other commitments, so I'm excited my calendar is opening up!

One-on-one coaching is the most powerful way to open up doors in your life (even if that means we need to close one first). I'll be with you every step of the way. To explore working with me privately, hop on over to my coaching page, scroll to the bottom and you'll see my scheduler. Select "30 Min Intro Call" and book your time. There's no charge, no obligation, it's a great opportunity to see if we will work well together.

I can't wait to hear from you!  

Live Lavishly Light Episode #21

You know what a freak I am about mindset! 

I recently went to see Amy Schumer's new movie,  I Feel Pretty.  It's a must see, in my opinion! Profound and funny, which is a lavish combination! 

Today I want to inspire you to consider your mindset. Whether its how we see our bodies or whether we have the courage to ask for a raise or raise our prices with confidence and without guilt! 

That's what tomorrow's webinar is about: Earn What You Deserve. Sign up now and check out today's episode of Live Lavishly Light. 

How much money do you want to make?

Do you want to make more money than you're making? 

Do you think that you can't make more money until:

  • Your boss gives you a raise
  • You get more clients (because you're afraid to raise your prices)
  • The economy changes
  • You get more training or education


You need a change of mindset. The miracle of this that you can start creating change now by changing your thoughts about the money you make and how you make it. 

You're in charge!


Tuesday, May 1, at 7:30 pm Eastern, 4:30 Pacific, for a webinar designed to teach you how to empower your thoughts and gain the confidence you need to:

  • ask for a raise
  • raise your prices without feeling guilty
  • quit your soul-sucking job
  • expand your business

Sign up and grab your spot now! 

Do you earn what you deserve?

Most women in the US do not. Whether they work for someone else or own their own business, most women aren't earning what they deserve. 

I'm ready to change that! It feels like a mission! 

It all begins with mindset. The way we think drives the jobs we take, the prices we charge, whether we ask for a raise or expand our business. 

Check out today's video and then hop on over and sign up for the webinar, Earn What You Deserve, and I'll teach you how to create a mind-shift that will empower you and build your confidence professionally.

Why I Hired a Coach

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." Albert Einstein

I use that quote often when I consult and speak to companies about how to improve performance with their people and solve problems in the organization. 

Here's the truth. It's actually very hard NOT to use the same kind of thinking. 

How do we really change the way we think when 95% of our thoughts are unconscious, meaning they are a habit we don't think about, like brushing our teeth? You don't look at your toothbrush every morning wondering what the heck to do with it! You don't even have to think about the steps involved in brushing your teeth. You do it without thinking about it. It's an unconscious habit. 

That's the way 95% of your thoughts are. 

How do we change? 

How do we become aware of the 95% that causes us to repeat the thoughts that don't serve us? That keep us from finding the new thought to solve the problem with? 

I call my coach! 

Yep. I have two coaches I work with regularly. They think of things I don't think of. 

Whether it's a challenge in my business or in a personal relationship, they will ask me a question [that I never thought of] that takes me to a new thought. 

That's what a great coach does. It's simple. It's profound. 

Do you need a coach? 

All of us have things in our life that could use some new thoughts injected into them. Maybe it's a stalled career. Maybe you want to start a business or expand your business. Maybe there's a personal relationship that needs something new injected into it. Maybe you've lost site of your dreams and want to put some juice into your life and awaken those dreams. 

New thoughts will help you with all of those. As a coach, that's what I do. I help my clients think new thoughts. Grow their business. Get a new job. Ask for a raise or promotion. Work on their relationships, awaken those dreams and create a lavish life! 

I offer free, 30 minute "Introduction" calls so we can chat about what you want to get out of coaching and to see if we are a good fit. No obligations. Check it out and schedule your Intro session today from my website.

What are you afraid of?

"Nothing bold or magnificent is created from fear." Paul Sabine, The Collection. 

If you've not watched The Collection on Amazon Video, I highly recommend it. It's all about a Paris fashion house at the end of WWII. 

I love this quote from the first episode. 

"Nothing bold or magnificent is created from fear." 

True that! 

So, that leads me to ask you....What bold or magnificent thing would you do, or create, if you had no fear? 

For me, right now, it's all about growing and expanding my business. 

What would it be for you? Tell me in the comments below. No fear. And, nothing is too bold or too magnificent! Tell me all about it! Shock me! Surprise me!