Not enough courage to say no to a holiday invitation?

What if that invitation is from your family? Do you ever feel like you don't have enough courage?

It's day three of 12 Days of Enough. 

I know so many people who spend time with their families, or go to a party, or any number of invitations we get at the holidays, out of obligation. They don't want to go. They feel like they have to go. They feel like they do not have enough courage to say no. 

Here's my Lifestyle Advice: Maya Angelou said, “Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can't practice any other virtue consistently.”

How do we cultivate courage?

Small steps. First, with yourself. Admit to yourself that being with your family (or another invitation) at the holidays is not right for you. Don’t stop there.

If you want to move towards courage you have to be painfully honest with yourself first. Dig deep. Articulate why. Find the important reasons. Not “I don’t like my mom’s cooking.”  Though you may not, that’s probably not a deal breaker.

Sometimes we confuse courage with rebellion

Rebellion says, ‘Hell no. I’m not going.” You either get over the rebellion and go, or you stay home for the wrong reasons.

Don’t get me wrong. Rebellion has its place. Sometimes it actually helps me get to courage.

Don’t get stuck in rebellion. Find your truth

Truth feels peaceful. It might be difficult, but there’s a peaceful understanding in your soul that this is the best thing for you.

Once you have that, courage is usually right there, ready and waiting for you.

If you aren’t there, get some support. A friend, therapist, or life coach. Someone who can help you find that place of peaceful truth and find your voice to live in alignment with your truth.

We all deserve to live in alignment with our truth. Even when it’s inconvenient. Even when it's the holidays. 

Your courage is in you. You might just need a little help uncovering it.

You are courageous enough! 

Please feel free give the gift of being enough to your friends by sharing this with them! They can click here to get the series delivered directly to them. 

Ever feel not lovable enough?

It's day two of our 12 Days of Enough and I know there are people out there who don't feel lovable enough. 

Maybe you're single. Maybe your relationship is suffering. Maybe you feel alone this holiday season. You may be telling yourself you aren't lovable enough for the relationship or life you want.

Here's my lifestyle advice:

I know a thing or two about this. I’ve been divorced twice and I've been single for most of the last 17 years. During that time I had one ‘significant’ relationship that lasted three years. I can, and have, gone deep into the rabbit hole of not being lovable enough.

When I’m in that hole, I can give you tons of evidence to support that thought. It’s a thought that leads to a terrible feeling of emptiness and unworthiness. Not very festive!

Let’s slay this one. For starters, there’s no such thing as not being lovable enough.

You are lovable because you were born!

I have to say, I didn't truly learn this until my grandchildren were born.

For those of you who haven’t experienced it, let me tell you, it is the purest love there is. This little person is connected to you, bone of your bones, flesh of your flesh, so to speak. Yet, you aren’t responsible for them, so you don’t feel the weight of that. All there is, is pure love.

And it’s not because they have such adorable personalities. Think about it. A newborn has no personality at all. They sleep, eat, cry and poop. That’s it. And you love them, just because they showed up and sleep, eat, cry and poop. It’s not their personalities or the things they do for you. They are lovable because…they are.

That’s the way it is with you

In truth, you are lovable, just because you are you. That’s it. Wrap yourself in some unconditional love.

Many of us were not blessed with being surrounded by unconditional love, but here’s the really cool thing; we can give it to ourselves. It totally works. I’ve done it. Love yourself because you can. Because you’re love-able. Because you were born.

Be in a relationship with yourself. Date yourself. Woo yourself. Give yourself Christmas or Hanukkah gifts. Seriously. Wrap them. Light the candles. Decorate the tree. Do it all for the love of you, because you are totally love-able enough! 

Please feel free give the gift of being enough to your friends by sharing this with them! They can click here to get the series delivered directly to them. 

12 Days of Enough!

You've heard of the 12 Days of Christmas, well I'm doing 12 Days of Enough!

There are so many ways to feel like we aren't enough. Especially at the holidays. 

This year I'm going to remind you every day, from now until Christmas Day, that you are Enough Already! We'll focus on one thought a day and I'll give you a little lifestyle advise-- a hack if you want to call it that-- for you to slay that thought and liberate yourself! The perfect holiday gift!

I bet you'll relate to each one of the twelve in one way or another. Please feel free give the gift of being enough to your friends by sharing this with them! They can click here to get the series delivered directly to them. 

This will be fun. I'll be brief. (I know, that one's hard to believe, but I'll do my best!)

Here we go. Day 1 of Enough.

Do you ever feel like you aren't successful enough?     

Lifestyle Advice: If you ever struggle with the thought that you are not successful enough, and therefore a disappointment to your family, or maybe your spouse’s family, your neighbors, or anyone else…this one’s for you! The first thing you need to know is that, “I’m not successful enough,” is just a thought. I’m not trying to be pedantic, but it’s just a thought. As is the case with most of our thoughts, they often are not true.

How many times have you thought someone was mad at you, and they weren’t. Or you thought the person you love, who is late coming home, was in a car accident, and they weren’t.

I bet if I gave you $50, you could come up with a list of 10 thoughts you’ve had recently that didn’t turn out to be true.

But, you say, Brenda, in my case, it’s true. My family told me I am a disappointment. Ouch. While that’s tough, there are plenty of fabulous people in history, and living today, who have disappointed their families with their greatness!

Give yourself the gift of believing in yourself so much that what others think of you, even your family, isn’t terribly important. I’m not saying there’s no sting at all, but really, think of the person you admire most; Beyonce, Michelle Obama, Oprah, anyone living or dead. Imagine that you are with them, going to their holiday family gathering and their family is disappointed in them. Imagine all the ways you would think, “These people really don’t get it. I can see that they love her (or him), but they are disappointed in someone who is fabulous!” You wouldn’t change your opinion of the person you admire. You’d see that it's the family who is mistaken.

Now…here’s the big finish…look in the mirror. That’s how it is for you. You are fabulous, no matter who thinks what.

You know why? Because you’re you. A unique expression of the Divine. There hasn’t been and won’t be another one just like you. That’s fabulous. Anyone who can’t see it has their own issue. Bless them and don’t let them diminish your brilliance.

Enough Already!

Have you ever had that thought, “I am not ______ enough.”

You fill in the blank with any number of your favorites.

I don’t know a person who escapes this limiting belief. Partially because it takes on so many shapes and sizes. Literally.

You’re not good enough. Not thin enough. Not smart enough. Not young enough. Not old enough. Not educated enough. Not connected or influential enough.

Or maybe you’ve got of these: there isn’t enough money to do what I want to do. There isn’t enough time for me to do what I want to do.

Enough Already!!

Let’s learn how to slay these limiting beliefs! They are insidious and it’s time to say, enough already.

Check it out in today’s video and share your personal playlist of “not enough” thoughts in the comments.

My Baby

She's here! I'm so happy to introduce you to my new website!

It's a labor of love to create a website. My focus was on what would serve and inspire those of you who engage in my work, whether it's for the first time or you've been with me since the beginning. 

I'll take you on a spin around the site and fill you in on a free offering I'll be releasing soon. 

I've got a lot of cool stuff coming your way in the next couple of months! I'm thrilled you're hear and look forward to engaging even more as we move through the holidays and into a new year. My desire for all of us it to to Live Lavishly.

xoxox

Brenda

Do you have BIG Dreams and Ideas?

Do you have BIG Dreams and Ideas?

I sure do! In today's video, in addition to getting the full picture of how much I like to talk with my hands...we're going to talk about big dreams and ideas. Here's the catch, and all of you dreamers have experienced this: you start to move towards your dream and, BAM! Some stinking thought about how you're not enough or don't have enough will settle in.

Are you enough already? Do you have enough to go for those BIG dreams?

Hell yes! You are enough and you have enough. Right now. The seed of everything great is in you. Otherwise you wouldn't have the great idea, someone else would.

These thoughts about not being enough are really important to me. I've had them hold me back and I see it with clients. Let's slay those bad boys! Watch today's video for how to do that.

Do You Ever Feel Like You're Not Enough?

Do You Ever Feel Like You're Not Enough?

I think we have all felt like we aren't enough. We get that terrible thought or feeling that says, you aren't smart enough to do that. Or, you aren't experienced enough to go for that promotion. How about this one, you aren't good enough. Ugh. That one can stop me dead in my tracks.

Sometimes it's money and time. How often have you said, or...uhhh, let's say, someone you know said, "I don't have enough money for that." "I don't have enough time for that!" If we had a dollar for every time we...I mean, someone we know, said that...we'd have plenty of money!

So, what in the world do we do about it?

In today's video I'll give you a good life coaching trick for taking the sting and power out of your "Not Enough" thoughts and feelings.