How Fear Can Keep You Trapped

Fear can be tricky. 

If you’re afraid of putting your hand on a hot stove… GREAT! Keep that fear. 

More often than not, fear keeps us trapped in self-judgment and stress!  

In today’s episode of Uncover and Elevate, I’ll break-down how fear keeps us trapped in habits and thoughts that limit our lives. 

I’ll also talk about how fear, initially, is benevolent. It’s there to help. But what it wants to help us with may not be obvious.

I’ll also give you some tools for how to break through fear, find the real issue that the fear was trying to protect you from and get out of limitation and feeling trapped. 

Listen to today’s episode HERE. 

Please share this episode on social and tag me! Then I’d love for you to post a 5 Start Review wherever you get your podcasts. It makes such a big difference and will help others find the show. I’ll be incredibly grateful!

I was lying to myself…

My entire life I have told myself I am not athletic. Along with all the things that go along with that. So, I don’t like to exercise, I don’t like to go hiking, I don’t want to try new things that are physical, I don’t participate in community recreational activities, etc. 

Why did I tell myself that? Why did I believe it? I don’t even know. I don’t remember a gym teacher shaming me or telling me I sucked at gymnastics or anything else I tried. I even won some regional track meet ribbons. I crushed my opponents in tetherball being the tallest 5th grader around. As a teenager I easily learned to ice skate and ski since we lived in the mountains of Colorado. I was a particularly good skier. 

Still… the thought in my own head, the “story” I had, that I wasn’t athletic, remained. Despite mounting evidence that it wasn’t true. 

That’s how the mind works. Once we’ve told ourselves (or heard from others) the same things over and over. Boom. It becomes a belief. We believe it’s true. Even if it’s not. 

About a month ago, it hit me. I might be athletic. I don’t think it’s true that I’m not athletic. 

All of a sudden, I wanted to try a spin class.  I wanted to join a gym to get the support, encouragement and accountability I WANTED. That's an important distinction. I wanted the support, encouragement and accountability because now I’m doing something new that I WANT to do! It’s not something I’m MAKING myself do because I’m SUPPOSED TO. Yuk! I hate those words… supposed to. 

It’s so much easier to take action that supports us when we are in alignment with what’s true instead of a lie we believe is true. 

What have you believed that may not be true? Tell me! I can’t wait to hear about it! You don’t even have to know for sure that it’s not true. Just consider it. What if… 

New Year! New You! But how?

The Solve It Method™ is a coaching process I created for people who are ready to bring new experiences and new ways of being into their lives. 

Powerful ways of being. Powerful experiences. 

People ask me how The Solve It Method™ works. 

I love that question! 

I’m so excited about the easy-to-follow process it provides! Now, there’s even a digital program so you can learn to use it in the comfort of your own home! Get more info about it HERE. 

It’s a simple concept really, as so many profound things are. You look at the problem, frustration, challenge, place you're stuck, etc. through four lenses. They are: 

• Desire

• Thoughts 

• Feelings 

• Action

The order you use them in isn’t important. The “problem” itself might give you a logical starting place, but you’ll look at it through all four. Which is why it’s so effective. 

As you go through each of the four you start to notice what’s really creating the problem, that way you know how to solve it. 

For example, let's say you want to get a new job. You’re bored with yours and you know you can do better. The “problem” is you’re procrastinating on updating your resume. What’s that about? You kick yourself, spiral into some self-criticism and promise yourself you’ll do it tomorrow. But… you don’t. 

I put “problem” in quotes because the longer I coach and the more I grow personally the more I know that the things that feel like problems are actually like our wise self raisting a red flag and saying, “Hey, Brenda, there’s something for you to look at!” So I’m beginning to love my problems. 

Back to the “problem.” When we have a problem about not taking action or the action we’re taking isn’t working I usually start with desire, then move to thoughts. Either we don’t really have a desire for it, it’s someone else's desire that they want us to get onboard with, but we’re not, or we’ve outgrown one of our desires and haven’t realized it. To keep it simple, let's say our hero does truly and sincerely want a new job. Something she can sink her teeth into, grow and feel accomplished in. Great. Desire is in alignment. 

Now let’s go to our hero's thoughts. In everyone I’ve coached, in every situation, including a bunch of my own, our if desire is in alignment, our thoughts are the culprit. This is where imposter syndrome comes from. It’s where our limiting beliefs come from. Look at your thoughts and you’ll find at least one if not a cluster of thoughts like, “I don’t deserve it.” “I’m not good enough.” “I’m probably not qualified for the kind of job I really want.” 

Once those thoughts are dismantled, the action gets easier. (I give you tools for dismantling thoughts in the digital program.)

Feelings. What role do they play? On the difficult side they belly up to those critical and shaming thoughts and you feel discouraged and hopeless. But the wonderful news is, you can also use your feelings as an ally. Instead of feeling discouraged and hopeless, what would help you get excited about updating your resume? The feelings of accomplishment, possibility, the expectation of something great. You can choose to focus on those empowering thoughts and that will get your butt at the computer to update that resume! 

Action then takes care of itself because your desires, thoughts and feelings are congruent or in alignment. Your action becomes congruent and in alignment. 

Problem solved!  

While it’s an easy and super effective process, naturally, on your own “problem” it can feel more complex and tricky. So, I created The Solve It Method™ Digital Program for you and right now, there’s a super special price on adding three private coaching sessions to it! It’s a bargain. 

Check it out and let me know if you have any questions or wonder if it will help with your specific “problem.” That’s what I’m here for! 

Do you know?

Have you ever felt like you don’t know what you want? 

A while back I had a client who would draw a blank every time I asked her what she wanted. 

I had another client who knew some of what she wanted, but mostly what she knew was that everything she was doing WASN’T what she wanted to do! 

What do we do when our life is full of commitments and activities that we really DON’T want to do and/or we don’t know what we DO want? 

There are a couple of things going on for both of these scenarios. 

There are thoughts that are keeping both of these talented, smart people away from knowing what they want. There are other thoughts that keep them feeling obligated to the things they are doing or guilting them out of their desires and into the obligations. Thoughts like, “you should be happy with what you have.” “You can’t say no, they need you.” “You’re not good enough for that.” 

There are also feelings that go right along with those feelings that make them feel even more impossible to overcome. 

There’s a lot of busy-ness, overwhelm, procrastination, and other obstacles when it comes to taking action. 

And then we circle back to desires. What the heck do I want and if I dare to want it, how do I believe I deserve to have it? 

You can see how this common problem touches on all four of these components, desire, action, thoughts and feelings. 

I experienced it in my own life. And as I coached myself and lots of clients through their problems and challenges I came up with a process that includes all four. When we get our desires, actions, thoughts and feelings in alignment, we’re unstoppable! 

I call the process, The Solve It Method™ and I am creating a digital program to teach you how to do it! 

What’s even better is that you can get The Solve It Method™ Digital Program AND add 3 private coaching sessions to it, all at a discounted price I’ve never offered before! That way you get the benefit of some coaching with me to help with the parts that are hard to coach yourself through and the digital program to keep for your ongoing support and growth. The best of both worlds! 

Hop over now and get the deets then register because this is an introductory price and I’m not sure how long I’ll offer it at this price! You’ll find everything HERE.

We haven’t gotten through a global pandemic to play small. You are in the right place at the right time. The time is ripe for transformation and living in authentic power and self-expression and The Solve It Method™ Digital Program is the right thing at the right time to support you in your journey! 

How this works

People ask me how The Solve It Method™ works. 

It’s one of my favorite questions! 

I’m so excited about the easy-to-follow process it provides! Now, there’s even a digital program so you can learn to use it in the comfort of your own home! Get more info about it HERE. 

It’s a simple concept really, as so many profound things are. You look at the problem, frustration, challenge, place you're stuck, etc. through four lenses. They are: 

• Desire

• Thoughts 

• Feelings 

• Action

The order you use them in isn’t important. The “problem” itself might give you a logical starting place, but you’ll look at it through all four. Which is why it’s so effective. 

As you go through each of the four you start to notice what’s really creating the problem, that way you know how to solve it. 

For example, let's say you want to get a new job. You’re bored with yours and you know you can do better. The “problem” is you’re procrastinating on updating your resume. What’s that about? You kick yourself, spiral into some self-criticism and promise yourself you’ll do it tomorrow. But… you don’t. 

I put “problem” in quotes because the longer I coach and the more I grow personally the more I know that the things that feel like problems are actually like our wise self raisting a red flag and saying, “Hey, Brenda, there’s something for you to look at!” So I’m beginning to love my problems. 

Back to the “problem.” When we have a problem about not taking action or the action we’re taking isn’t working I usually start with desire, then move to thoughts. Either we don’t really have a desire for it, it’s someone else's desire that they want us to get onboard with, but we’re not, or we’ve outgrown one of our desires and haven’t realized it. To keep it simple, let's say our hero does truly and sincerely want a new job. Something she can sink her teeth into, grow and feel accomplished in. Great. Desire is in alignment. 

Now let’s go to our hero's thoughts. In everyone I’ve coached, in every situation, including a bunch of my own, our if desire is in alignment, our thoughts are the culprit. This is where imposter syndrome comes from. It’s where our limiting beliefs come from. Look at your thoughts and you’ll find at least one if not a cluster of thoughts like, “I don’t deserve it.” “I’m not good enough.” “I’m probably not qualified for the kind of job I really want.” 

Once those thoughts are dismantled, the action gets easier. (I give you tools for dismantling thoughts in the digital program.)

Feelings. What role do they play? On the difficult side they belly up to those critical and shaming thoughts and you feel discouraged and hopeless. But the wonderful news is, you can also use your feelings as an ally. Instead of feeling discouraged and hopeless, what would help you get excited about updating your resume? The feelings of accomplishment, possibility, the expectation of something great. You can choose to focus on those empowering thoughts and that will get your butt at the computer to update that resume! 

Action then takes care of itself because your desires, thoughts and feelings are congruent or in alignment. Your action becomes congruent and in alignment. 

Problem solved!  

While it’s an easy and super effective process, naturally, on your own “problem” it can feel more complex and tricky. So, I created The Solve It Method™ Digital Program for you and right now, there’s a super special price on adding three private coaching sessions to it! It’s a bargain. 

Check it out and let me know if you have any questions or wonder if it will help with your specific “problem.” That’s what I’m here for! 

Have you ever had this?

Have you ever felt like you don’t know what you want? 

A while back I had a client who would draw a blank every time I asked her what she wanted. 

I had another client who knew some of what she wanted, but mostly what she knew was that everything she was doing WASN’T what she wanted to do! 

What do we do when our life is full of commitments and activities that we really DON’T want to do and/or we don’t know what we DO want? 

There are a couple of things going on for both of these scenarios. 

There are thoughts that are keeping both of these talented, smart people away from knowing what they want. There are other thoughts that keep them feeling obligated to the things they are doing or guilting them out of their desires and into the obligations. Thoughts like, “you should be happy with what you have.” “You can’t say no, they need you.” “You’re not good enough for that.” 

There are also feelings that go right along with those feelings that make them feel even more impossible to overcome. 

There’s a lot of busy-ness, overwhelm, procrastination, and other obstacles when it comes to taking action. 

And then we circle back to desires. What the heck do I want and if I dare to want it, how do I believe I deserve to have it? 

You can see how this common problem touches on all four of these components, desire, action, thoughts and feelings. 

I experienced in my own life. And as I coached myself and lots of clients through their problems and challenges I came up with a process that includes all four. When we get our desires, actions, thoughts and feelings in alignment, we’re unstoppable! 

I call the process, The Solve It Method™ and I am creating a digital program to teach you how to do it! 

What’s even better is that you can get The Solve It Method™ Digital Program AND add 3 private coaching sessions to it, all at a discounted price I’ve never offered before! That way you get the benefit of some coaching with me to help with the parts that are hard to coach yourself through and the digital program to keep for your ongoing support and growth. The best of both worlds! 

Hop over now and get the deets then register because this is an introductory price and I’m not sure how long I’ll offer it at this price! You’ll find everything HERE.

We haven’t gotten through a global pandemic to play small. You are in the right place at the right time. The time is ripe for transformation and living in authentic power and self-expression and The Solve It Method™ Digital Program is the right thing at the right time to support you in your journey! 

The Solve It Method™: Thoughts

I’m really excited about what I’m going to share with you today! It’s a continuation of the 5 Episode series that will give you my #1 solution for every problem. I use it all the time in my own life and with clients.

Today I am unpacking the Third piece of The Solve It Method™.

<<“THOUGHTS”>> Thoughts pass through our mind almost all the time. Logical and creative thinking is perhaps the principal feature that makes us truly different from other animals. Our thoughts shape our life, shape who we are, what we do, and how we respond, for better or for worse. Yet despite their centrality, we hardly notice our thoughts as thoughts. We consider them to be our private inner voice that speaks for us and as us, Many people react mindlessly to their thoughts. In other words, they're-act-repeating past actions again and again-feeling powerless to change.

In today’s episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser I’m going to dig deep and answer some  very important question regarding the topic of the 4th Episode of our 5 Episode Series:

What is the difference between conscious and subconscious mind thoughts?

Can you have control over your thoughts?

How Thoughts Become Habits?

How to overcome thoughts triggers?

And much more.. Listen to today’s episode HERE.

Listen to the previous episode, HERE.

Listen to episode #1 in the series (where I start with the problem) HERE.

Listen to episode #2 in the series HERE.

Listen to episode #3 in the series HERE

If you like Today’s Episode, please don’t hesitate to post a 5-Stars review if you’re listening to the Podcast on Apple iTunes or Spotify and leave us a review telling us how our podcast helped you in a specific aspect of your life. It makes me so happy to see listeners' feedback because it motivates me to create content that is impactful for you and other listeners.

Everything Begins With a Thought

Every invention, piece of art, new technology or way of life, begins with a thought.

"I'd like to travel more."

"I want to paint."

"I want to start a business."

"I want to make more money."

Then come the thoughts of diminishment. "You can't do that!" "Who do you think you are." "You're not good enough."

In today’s video I'll show you how to breakthrough that thought and live the life of your dreams. 

Get all the details on Think Your Way to Success right here.

Are you your thoughts?

I was talking to my super smart friend, David Winkelman, of Winkelman Solutions about our thoughts. 

He gave me this great quote, "Your thoughts don't care about you." 

That got us going on a long conversation. 

David is someone who I refer to as a change agent. Change is his specialty. He helps organizations and people create change. 

I asked him to join me for a recorded conversation on this topic that I could share with everyone who signs up to be in Enough Already Insider. Of course, he said, yes. That's the kind of guy he is. 

I had this idea that I wanted to give everyone who signed up as an Enough Already Insider, some cool bonuses, just for signing up. 

The idea took wings and flew! When you sign up to be an Enough Already Insider, you'll get my conversation with David. It's juicy and delicious!  But, that's not all, as they say! 

I talked to some other cool friends and we've created a body, mind, spirit and soul bonus package for you. Here's how it looks: 

Body: Certified Fitness Instructor and Nutrition Advocate, Alyssa Crawford is going to talk about the CORE 4. These are four simple things you can easily implement as we start a new year and you think about improvements you may want to make to your body. Alyssa isn't going to tell you to do 40 push-ups, so no worries. I am terrible at getting regular exercise, but her CORE 4 left me feeling like, "I can do that!" Join Alyssa and I as we chat from her LA home. 

Mind: This the talented David Winkelman and the conversation about our thoughts not caring about us. You won't want to miss this. 

Spirit: My beautiful friend and certified life coach, Monna McDiarmid created an audio of a poem she wrote about self-compassion. I met Monna in Paris on a retreat. This woman is so beautiful, inside and out, it is stunning. She has the most beautiful way of practicing the art of self-compassion, something most of us aren't very good at. I asked her to share some of her secrets with us. 

Soul: That's me. I've got a guided meditation you'll be able to download, plus a worksheet to support you in recording your insights from the meditation. I love guided meditation because it's a lot 'easier' than trying to sit still and will yourself to clear you mind. Your mind will follow the imagery and scenes I describe. That serves to free your soul to get in touch with the soul's mother-ship, the Divine. From there you can 'hear' what the Divine has for you. 

I hope you'll decide to join the Enough Already Insider group! You'll get these delicious bonuses, plus, a special discount when Enough Already registration opens.

I've also decided to offer a "bring a friend" discount! I'll give you, and as many friends as you want, a discount! If you're an Insider, that means two discounts. We're going to have a private Facebook group as part of the Enough Already program and I know you'll enjoy going through the program with a friend. So, grab her (or him, all men are welcome!) and have them sign up as an Enough Already Insider so they get these yummy bonuses, then you'll both get a discount when you register. 

Remember, there's no obligation to register for the program as an Enough Already Insider. Enjoy the bonuses as our New Year's gift to you!